No bed without shower - how to kick the habit

[Guest Ocdpete]

Hiya I'm new on here, only just found this place.

I have had OCD for many years, it the form of fearing germs and compulsive hand washing.

I can't go to bed without first having a shower, I can't touch certain "clean" items without washing first. If I have had a late evening and have an early morning for work, I can't just jump into bed... I gave to shower first, getting my towel out and making sure it doesn't touch anything first, and cleaning the side of the bath to put the towel on while I shower. Also then when in the shower I can't touch the curtain or let it touch me at all or I have to start washing myself from scratch again.

With my designated "clean" items, I used to keep my mobile phone in a plastic food bag when out to keep it from getting dirty. I have managed to kick that habit by dreaming the phone to be a dirty item. How do I make my bed, sides, tv remotes and iPad into a dirty item? I want yo be able to come in and go straight to bed, and not faff around with a ritual for an hour+.

Because my bed is a "clean" zone, I have to wash my towels, bedding, pyjamas and pants separate from all the rest of the laundry in the house. Because it has to be "compatible" with my "clean" zone.

In order to dry my cloths, I can't put them on the washing line, so I have to tumble dry them, and before I can do that I have to spray the whole interior with antibacterial spray which is starting to break it...

[Guest megan]

firstly tackle one thing at a time there is no rush, how long are your showers in the morning and evening?

[Guest Ocdpete]

firstly tackle one thing at a time there is no rush, how long are your showers in the morning and evening?

Because of the evening one, the morning one isn't as long. Because all I have done is sleep in my clean fed. So 10 mins morning and 30 mins under the water in evening.

[Guest lauren415]

If it makes you feel better I can definitely relate. Lately I've had to shower after each time I use the bathroom. I wash my hands before and after I go to the bathroom. I've even missed some work because of it. Like someone on here has told me you just have to try and not compulse otherwise it will just make the anxiety greater. I know all too well that it is much easier said than done. Good luck and take care

[Guest megan]

ok so the evening one is long lets face it, but mine a long time ago used to take an hour each shower so then its not so bad, now the longest is maximum 10. ask yourself do you want to rid yourself of ocd or to whats comfortable for you?

[Guest megan]

i dont think 2 showers a day is a bad thing i know people without ocd who do, but have you tried just going with the evening one leave it at the 30 mins for now then miss the morning. try that first maybe just have a wash in the morning. what i would also say is the tumble is really clean because only clean clothes go in and dry ones come out. there is fluff in the filter but its still from clean clothes and you can empty it and just wash your hands.

[Caramoole]

Hi There and to the forum

The one word that perpetuates your post is the word "CAN'T" .....You can, it just makes you feel very anxious and uncomfortable. The first thing you need to do is re-phrase that into "My OCD makes me feel like I can't

The rituals and compulsions are just that....they aren't necessary, they don't "save" you from anything......they are rules and rituals made up by the sufferer to try and control their fears, to reduce anxiety. That is a fact and you could rewrite those rules and stop doing the compulsions.......

......"But Oh that it was that easy, eh?" :crybaby:

Have you tried anything to help tackle this problem? Sadly, it has to be addressed or we sufferers tend to add and add to the nonsensical list OCD demands

[Guest Tricia]

I am exactly the same. Even when I had pneumonia and could barely stand I had to shower before returning to bed. I also suffer from vertigo and at times it's so bad I constantly vomit unless I lie down, which I can't do until I finish chores and shower. A friend who also has Meniere's has told me I can't be as bad as her as she just has to lie down. I don't try to explain because I know she wouldn't understand, but it's like having a gun to my head.

A friend with contamination fears broke her arm a couple of years ago and refused a plaster because she couldn't wash it. A frustrated doctor reluctantly agreed to a plastic cast, but she failed to disclose that she would be removing that once a day to shower and scrub her arm. You can imagine her pain. I only write this to explain to anyone without this kind of obsession how strong the need to wash can be.

I sincerely hope the tips you are receiving help you, because this is no way to live!

[PolarBear]

It's important to understand that you (with the help of OCD) have made up these nonsensical rules. You've made them up and now you live by them. You can unmake them and live with that too. You can stop having your shower at night. You can stop washing certain items separately. You can challenge yourself with these changes. Yes, you'll have to put up with increased anxiety at the start. Your brain will be screaming the rules at you. But you can change and let go of these rules.

[Justine]

I'm struggling with this sort of thing at the moment. When I had therapy last time they told me I had to stop classifying things as clean or dirty. I have clean and extra clean things but that's ocd and its driving me nuts as I can never relax! At the end of the day I think you just have to stop what you are doing and see what happens after say 7 days, just stop one thing at a time so no evening shower. Write what you fear will happen and see if it has happened in 7 days. If it hasn't cut it out permanently. Easier said than done, everyday I say I'm going to stop one thing but then fear creeps in and I do it just one "last" time.

[ailo]

Hello, and welcome to the forum!

I can relate alot, and I often get/ and got the frustration of HOW TO JUST GO TO BED WITHOUT SHOWERING!! I still struggleing with the same, but im MUCH better then when I was at my worst. (I could shower like 16-18 times before going to bed, and not touch ANYTHING "dirty" between shower and bed.. I couldnt even touch the floor) And I know how exhausting it can be to have an hour + before bed when you really tired! I can see you already got some good advices.But I wanted to write some words to you myself. I hope it will make some sense.

I agree that you really can go to bed without showering, but you will probably get very anxious the first times, and i guess you will feel you are messing up your clean area. And I know that a dreadful thought.. cause you probably spent years and hours and hours in keeping your bed clean and sheets clean. But if you are getting rid of your ocd, you unfortunally have to mess up your system AND your clean area? Cause if you always protecting some things, your are keeping up with a ocd project, which are really exhausting.. And maybe just worhless? (Sorry to be maybe too honest)If you are continuing with washing your cloaths sepperatly, and sort your stuff after different contemination (as i do also, but try to stop) or how clean they are.. you are working with your ocd project. And your mind would work this way.

I think it can help you to get a good ocd specialist to help you and make a work plan or do some erp, but you can do alot by yourself too. Take step by step. And be proud of every improvement.

But I heared that if you deside to get rid of your ocd completly, you should do it like 100 prosent if you are going to change your habit. Cause if you give full throttle and brakes at the same time, it will take longer to get rit of the ritual. It kind of make sense.. cause if you show your brain that this IS dangerous, it will belive you, even though you are doing it a half way or sometimes (Do you get what i mean?) For exsample; if I go to bed without showering, but then shower 10 times in the morning because of I didnt shower in the evening and then I wash all the sheets serval times, and trow the pillow and buy new ones to make the area whos now dirty clean again.. and take away that terrible anxiety.. then.. Yes, it was great first step to shower without showering.. but you keep teaching your brain this was bad, and do new rituals.. so next time, when you go to bed, it might be worse and not better.. Cause you remember how much mess it got out of it? (maybe i talk out of own experience also..) Take small steps, and try to do your exposures without do rituals after. Easyer said then done. Maybe try to reduse the showering time at first? Wish you the best! You really can be able to go to bed without showering

The best, Ailo

[Caramoole]

So......Where are you Pete?

I know this is something that's difficult for you......lot's of replies you perhaps don't want to address, because it's something that's very painful to face.....that we have to enter that painful zone :crybaby:

It has to be faced....it's the only successful way through

What do you think?