Jump to content

And here i am,same place different year


Recommended Posts

More support than advice

Im loseing it again,my fears and regrets take it in turns then vanish onto the next

Ive confessed thoughts and historic sexual fantasys to my partner over the years that have caused her to much stress

Shes understanding about pocd, but i told her thoughts i had about her sister and realy hurt her

Were very much in love and i want to be with her forever

A couple of years ago i got drunk,very drunk and led on her sisters bed,shes an adult by the way,i then drunkenly got up and left,also another time drunk i tried to get in her mums house when her sister was down,i dont know why, maby just wanted to crash

Years have gone by and the guilt goes away but then it pops up and i feel so guilty and feel i must confess

My partner doesnt want to know thoughts,she made that clear but as this was real events the pull to confess is strong

Ive written all this before and had good advice,i just feel lost again

Link to comment

That's a pretty fatalistic attitude. It must seem like you have done everything but I suspect you haven't. You've tried a few things but you haven't gone as far as you can.

You say you've confessed to your partner. You know that's a compulsion and it's the wrong thing to do. How long have you gone without confessing? A few days? A week or so? A month? What about not confessing at all? Have you done that? Have you kept one of those deep, dark secrets (which are all very minor in nature) under your hat permanently? Or do you give in every time, performing compulsions and setting yourself up for failure?

How much ruminating are you doing? What you wrote above about the sister, you've written quite a few times in the past. It's still on your mind. I bet you're going over those instances in your mind again and again. That's ruminating, its a compulsion and it needs to stop.

Look at my signature line. It's the truth.

Link to comment
Guest yinyang

I always feel not good enough,although nothing happened i cant work out what my drunken intensions were

Maby i wanted more,maby,ifs and buts

If I had acted on all my drunken intentions I'm sure I would be cuddling up to a geezer on a cold bunk bed in parkhurst by now, wishing I hadn't drank that last jager bomb, but that's probably beside the point.

The point is we all have random thoughts and intentions, especially when under the influence.

How we act on them defines us, not the thought.

You didn't act on one so you have no logical reason to feel guilty.

The evidence is all there in your post

Edited by yinyang
Link to comment

Thnx pb

I always feel not good enough,although nothing happened i cant work out what my drunken intensions were

Maby i wanted more,maby,ifs and buts

I just feel guilty for falling or laying on her bed allbeit for seconds

The problem is that you are still trying to work out what your intention were. That's a compulsion and it's keeping you stuck. Let it go. It doesn't matter anymore. Life is not about punishing yourself endlessly over stupid things.

Link to comment

If she was awake would i have acted,its screwd up i know but my brain is treating it like something happened because i shouldnt have been there

Isnt that betrayel,the fact i was in the bedroom and i tried to get in the house

Be it drunk or not

And here you go again, ruminating. You're doing this to yourself. Leave it alone. It just doesn't matter anymore.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...