The OCDJ

I think because the content of the thoughts are not important and deep down u know this so u dont take it seriously and are sick to death of putting up resistance in a way ur brain is tired x

yes they can definately feel deliberate from my experience. this in itself becomes the intrusion ur creative brain will take u as far as it can to the scariest u can imagine. its still just a thought. im battling too hun we can do this together. xxx

caramoole i squeeze my body and tense my tummy i count i try to reassure myself i say words over and over again i pray if it gets too much i freeze and allow the thoughts i distance myself from my children i push them away i ask my partner for reassurance i hug my children away from my private area xx

thank you so much for your replies ive been so worried. i have tears of relief u dont think im a freak. thank you pbrown and Caramoole i value all your advice please understand im terrified of not doing my compulsions it feels real like im agreeing with the thoughts or going along with them . please tell me what i should do tell me where to go from here and how to cope any advice from you is invaluable x

hi all hope everybody is well. forgive me i only post when im desperate and these last few weeks my intrusive thoughts have come crashing down on me. i am really struggling i just dont know where else to turn. The thoughts are so strong lately. i have 4 beautiful young children sorry if my words are all over the place. i have this anxious groinal response EVERYTIME i come into contact with my babies. i cant find any reassurance when i tell myself 'its not me' it doesnt work i just feel like im running into these thoughts nothng makes me feel better or safe. I feel sick. i dont really get thoughts as such just this 'feeling' that scares me but my mind knows no limits wen the feeling doesnt bother me it will say i have it on 'purpose' or 'I go along with the feeling' and then that becomes the intrusion it really feels like my mind looks for it and it has become all encomposing. i feel like i activate it welcome it or give in to it when my mind is really tired or maybe those just become new intrusions i just cant see the wood through the trees. my mind keeps telling me im abusing my babies and this makes me want to die it destroys me. i cry alot then i feel numb and when these thoughts come when i feel numb they feel more real. please can anybody help me please feeling very weak xxx

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thank you so much guys when under so much stress i let the thoughts be and i try to reassure myself im not going along with the thoughts but i dont believe myself! i know this is worse with stress u are so right polar bear! i know this is irrational and im in a lot better position and have alot more knowledge this time. i just needed to hear if it is normal to 'feel' like ur going along with the thoughts as i cant reassure myself that im not. thanks for your replies both of you and being blunt polarbear is exactly what i need xxx

hi all i used to write alot on here had my worst period of ocd end of 2015 dont know if u remember me i struggled massively with pocd it destroyed me starting after an extremely stressful time. Anyway i managed to have it under control after the birth of my beautiful baby girl. we have recently been under alot of stress and i can feel my old fears resurfacing i can feel myself taking it more seriously and it growing in my mind. the adreneline rushes and fear surging through my body is coming back. i am struggling to differentiate between intrusive thoughts and normal thoughts. this is particularly scary as i have 4 small children and contact with them is unavoidable. they constantly hang and jump and swing of me and im constantly anticipating thoughts. what is the hardest part is when i dont do my compulsions like tensing or repeating words upon contact with my children it feels 'like im going along with my thoughts' and i imagine it and it is so scary i genuinely cant tell whether ive abused my children or just let thoughts be. sometimes the thoughts come too quick and i worry i didnt fight them enough or sometimes i get so scared i throw myself at the thoughts. can anybody give me some advice as how to cope when it gets so intense and those panicy feelings come so strong. I get terrified that if i try to relax with the thoughts it means im 'going along with them' and this is during actual physical contact with my 4 beautiful babies so it is very scary. i worry that because i cant feel 'love' for them when im panicing it means these thoughts are real and easier to have. i have to carry on for my children i have to get up each day and walk them all to school and this is becoming harder and harder. My children are my world and i cant afford to let this get out of control again as my children depend on me being well has anybody got any words of advice for me? thank you.

theyre not real feelings x i dont want to feel an irregular heartbeat lo and behold i feel an irregular heartbeat it feels real, its not! its ocd at play xx

you are no different to any other OCD sufferer the intrusions can become engrained so stuck that it can feel like they get into your normal thought pattern and then they feel real. its still intrusive take the leap of faith and treat it as OCD xx

I know how terrifying it is I really do its almost like standing on the edge of a cliff! But you will get there I promise you. These thoughts are really not what they seem when u learn to devalue them u see this and it sheds a whole new light onto them. You can chat to me anytime x it's a great step that your taking seeing a professional I told my psychologist everything I kept running out of his room and being sick in the toilets but he was amazing and very understanding he'd worked with so many people with OCD he told me of a man he worked with who hadn't seen his family in 8 years and moved away from them because of his thoughts I would say be open and entially honest and everything will work out fine xxx

First of all if u read back on my posts u will see how much I have suffered with intrusive thoughts I have been through every conceivable variation of the thoughts and suffered the extreme terror related to them even now as I recall the terror I get a shudder down my spine this in itself could potentially invite the OCD as my mind could tell me I was scared of the terror itself not the accompanying thoughts. I recognise this as the nature of OCD and refuse to let it bother me at all I will explain why later! First of all I am a deep thinker and have a diploma in psychology particularly dealing with phobias but I believe they relate closely to OCD and most importantly I have OCD and understand the illness so I have first hand knowledge of the disorder the reason I am saying this is I want people to trust in my interpretation of intrusive thoughts as someone who has been there and is feeling considerably better. It pains me to think of other people suffering the way I have as it is a horrible experience I don't like to regurgitate the emotions of the experience but I don't fear it anymore all I will say is it was hell I couldn't get out of bed I couldn't stop my brain I couldn't defeat it but that is all the past now and it no longer has a fear attached to it I just want to share with sufferers what has helped me: firstly medication I am on 60 mg of paroxetine and I believe the medication really does help with your perspective and mood in general. Secondly the help of others on this website I owe my life to the members really (I haven't seen polar bear on here recently does anybody know where he is) thirdly I smoked during the end of my pregnancy and it caused me anxiety as a result when my baby was born I looked for signs in the baby that I had harmed her I looked for delays in her development etc etc I came to see this as working the same way as intrusive thoughts simply put when you are anxious about something your brain AUTOMATICALLY looks for reasons to qualify the anxiety this helped me so much make sense of the way intrusive thoughts work and I feel it could help others. When you are anxious about the thoughts your brain naturally will look for reasons you are anxious and to the sufferer this is where we get terrified as your brain knows no boundaries. Let me stress this is a natural way the brain works you cannot control it so whatever you fear your brain will look for it and Create it. It's as simple as that! This is where us as OCD sufferers get confused and terrified but this just strengthens it.If you fear youre a murderer your brain will look for reasons to qualify this false belief that's all that's going on. THIS WORKS THE SAME WAY WITH ALL FEARS NO MATTER WHAT THE FEAR IS... If we fear the thoughts themselves, fear we accept the thoughts, fear we want or like the thoughts the brain will use this process and this is why the thoughts feel real but they arnt let me give you an example of how these thoughts/ fears are not based in reality but override logic and reasoning I was terrified I was a paodophile when this grip of fear starting weakening I was lay in bed with my baby and I started to feel anxious my mind registered the baby was touching my leg with her foot or something and I became more scared I accepted or wanted or liked the feeling so naturally my brain started looking for reasons to qualify my fear it felt like I did accept the thoughts it felt real all the while I KNEW it wasn't her foot touching me it was the bed cover but my brain wouldn't allow me to believe it I checked 3 times and it still wouldn't believe it why.. because my fear was real and rising so my brain wouldn't stop the searching process and this overrided the reality that there was no danger it wouldn't accept the reality that there wasn't even any contact with my baby! Upon this realisation I grabbed my baby and held her so close to me and as the anxiety subsided my brain stopped looking for reasons to be anxious because I felt more comfortable and this was the best moment of my life and my turning point. I just wanted to share to help and encourage others this is all that's going on and you can get better and get your normal feelings back as long as you learn to feel safe and comfortable in your self this involves when anxious let your brain do its natural process and search for your fear you must remain comfortable and safe even with the thoughts and feelings you will start to fear you are accepting the thoughts then your brain will look for reasons you are you must accept this natural process it will feel real at first and very scary it will feel you are doing it on purpose whatever you fear your brain will naturally search for it and create it but what will eventually happen is if you remain trying to feel comfortable and safe in yourself no matter what your brain will still automatically do its natural process (it thinks it helps you it's actually serving its purpose to protect you) and search for reasons to qualify your fear out of habit but all the false feelings and thoughts it creates will go away it really works why because you no longer fear it! At first sometimes I felt like I was trying to get like thoughts of harming my children when they sit on my knee but the feelings wernt coming... imagine how amazing I feel (this process alone proves my interpretation) it is all automatic and when you get a hold of it the relief is the best feeling in the world you become free I want you to experience it too xxx

It's just your interpretation of the thoughts/feelings your mind is looking for it checking it's almost automatic you become aware of it it's just your imagination that's why it scares you you can't reassure yourself when checking the thoughts/ feelings it's impossible the thoughts come with their own energy intrusive thoughts and lots of things all going on at the same time it's meaningless misinterpretation . The more your brain checks the stronger it will become and you will get stuck but none of it is real xx

It's all in your brain it's your imagination you imagine you like it anyone can do that because ITS NOT REAL !! Your brains registering it as an important thought to test out when you touch the screen. Your trying to reassure yourself that you find the thought horrible that isn't going to happen just like the hand washer doesn't feel her hands are clean no different! The fact is you don't like it or you wouldn't worry about it or even mark it as important it makes you panic your on here because you are so distressed yet it will hAppen again! Can't you see the pattern. Sometimes it feels good to feel ok with the thoughts because they have scared you for so long it's ok to feel ok with the thoughts as that's how you'd be feeling without them you can't stop the thoughts your just misinterpreting feeling ok meaning you like them! Your supposed to feel ok with the thoughts well you've only got two choices panic like crazy and feel sick etc or feel ok I choose to feel ok now as I'm not letting them get to me anymore! Let it go it's not based in reality no matter how you felt in the moment those thoughts and feelings are not based in reality if it makes you feel any better I've had this and I have 4 children so couldn't avoid contact I had these thoughts when the children were climbing on me or changing them and your worrying about touching a screen! I've been like you terrified but not I've come to terms with its all just a silly mind game called OCD you should imagine it when you touch the screen make it the worst you can tell yourself it feels amazing and you love it and you can't wait to touch the screen this will be scary at first but should make you see it's all a mind thing the more you don't want to think about something the more you will the more you don't want to feel like you like it the more you will simple really stretch out your imagination bring it on and after the fear goes you'll get bored of it X really hope your ok mate xx

It's just your imagination you imagined you liked it maybe the sensation of touch on your touch screen felt nice and it connected to the thought it's as simple as something like that OCD makes things into something else it's all not based in reality when u start to feel better ul see this more clearly trust me I've been through it while holding my children with intrusive thoughts so I felt like I really was doing something wrong or acting on the thoughts . Take it from me you will get through this x