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Guilt so much guilt :(


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I feel guilty ALL THE TIME.. Any little thought I have I will feel guilty.. I'm not even referring to my intrusive thoughts these are just thoughts I get about people and mainly my family.. Say if I get a bad thought around my family because they have annoyed me or whatever I feel so bad like I got a thought about my mum earlier, it was MY own thought not one of these intrusive bad ones but because this was what I was genuinely thinking at the time I still feel so guilty and now like I'm evil and I can't love her because if I did I wouldn't get thoughts like this at all, I just feel as though deep down I am a bad person or a b**ch, and there's nothing I can do to change my personality but I can't deal with this guilt constantly :( surely people do get genuine bad thoughts towards family at some point?? Sorry that's seeking reassurance here but I'm desperate

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Guest Pure obsessional Laura

I only discovered this forum today because I'm having my first big relapse after being reletively free of symptoms for nearly 18 months. I'm learning fast that reassurance is only a momentary relief and if we are to get better we have to stop seeking the reassurance.

It's human nature to want to do that for someone as I do with you but it could be counter productive. When your thoughts come in, the ones that really make your head zing and your body shiver, before the guilt comes say to yourself "it's not really me, it's the OCD" distance yourself from it being you, because it really isn't you. You have a condition that makes your mind think thoughts that make you feel horrible, and that isn't your fault. Ok? :)

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That's why you're not supposed to repeat to yourself that the thoughts aren't you, because not only is it reassurance but it wil just leave the door open for OCD to say 'well what about this? how do you know?' etc. You have to accept that you don't know and will never know because you have this disorder. Expose yourself to the fear and soon you will see there is no reason to be afraid.

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I believe that in ocd, some areas of the brain are activated, like guilt , shame , fear and then the thought arise. I think that no mater what you do , a new thought will connect to the brain feeling. So this is the case to ignore all thoughts and understand it is a disease.

Edited by ocdlost
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Unfortunately it's what we as OCD'ers have to do. I've had to accept some horrific possibilities over the last few years...but you know what, once you do it, it's not half as scary as your brain is telling you. Even if all of our fears were totally true, the reality wouldn't be as devastating as your mind is telling you. It's based on fear. What's that quote? Nothing is either good or bad until you say it is so :)

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