Can't sleep for ocd

[Guest messihead]

So guys I'm lying in bed and I can't sleep. My partner is lying next to me sleeping. My unwanted thoughts if that's wot they are (finding it hard to accept or believe this time it's ocd) bombarding my mind! I'm thinking back to the night I have doubts about- I know rumination is bad. But I'm thinking back to try and think rationally and rationally I cannot remember doing wot I doubt however I can't stop thinking I have done it... does that make sense? Why if I believe I haven't and can't remember doing so why do I believe I have done it? There is a possibility a chance I may and can't remember? Any ideas? Can't sleep for worrying I'm right I have done the dreaded and I can't remember. I can remember most of my night. Alot of it. And yet in taunted by this constantly and so petrified it's ruining me inside. Can anyone help me?

[Guest LauraMac]

That's OCD at it's work. A very good friend of mine once said to me 'you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable'. That's knowledge I now want to pass to you. It works. Try sitting with that uncomfortableness and not ruminating about it and it's looses it's power. You're frustrating yourself by going over and over it, you are looking for a memory and clarity that's not in your head. That's like me sending you out to the garden to find the brand new Porsche I put there. It's not there, so you'll not find it. You can make yourself look and look because 'I was told it was here, it must be. It has to be' or you can say 'no there's no point it's not here' and move on from it. Try distracting yourself with another thought or deep breathing exercises are very good too. Keep fighting, you can do it

Laura x

[Guest messihead]

Thank you Laura. I do this well I try to, I try to just bear the uncomfortable feeling and not go into why it's there and looking for reasons as to why it's there. But I think why do I have this in my head if it's not real? Why do I have this thought this uncomfortable feeling the nagging doubt. If it's not real then why? Where has it came from? I don't understand! To me there must be a reason I think this. .. no? Thanx for replying

[Guest jayjay89]

It's because you have ocd, you can't rationalise yourself out of a disorder

[Whirlwind]

Laura I get you 100%. It is your OCD, I have worried like this 100's of times. I don't understand it either but take some comfort in the fact we all have it. It's your mind playing tricks on you because it can. X

[Guest messihead]

Wot is ocd really? What is ot that makes our heads think different from others? I don't get ocd! I don't understand it. Why would I think I had slept with another person on a night out that I can almost fully remember if I hadn't? Where do the doubts come in if I knew I had done nothing wrong?

[Guest sophie13]

Hei, in OCD our worry button is broken so the brain gets the "message" that there is something very wrong. As we try to figure out what might be wrong, each of us finds a "reason" to feel so worried. What if I did, what if I will etc. We check the possibility and the anxiety doesn't go away... as we still have anxiety we come to the conclusion that the thought must have been right. This is where our brains is different. Something doesn't connect so the worry and the anxiety don't go down. This is why they teach us not to check... more we check more the part that is worried sends messages... when we stop checking, the anxiety goes up and after a while, it goes down. This is ecposure and response prevention...

[Yrrow]

I agree Sophie. In terms of the false memories, they don't come until I start reviewing my behaviors and checking for any wrong-doing. It seems like if you had done anything wrong, you would know it immediately.

[ohdear]

Can't help much with your thoughts, but I find that lying in bed trying to sort out your thoughts is a hiding to nothing!

I either get up and make a cup of tea, or if I can I say to hell with it I will never sort this out tonight, I will look at it fresh in the morning.

My view is that when you are half asleep your brain is not working at full ability, many times I have laid worrying about how to sort something then the next day a solution presents it's self.

That's where the magic cuppa allows you to break the cycle of turning things over in your head :original:

[Guest messihead]

Thanx for all ur replys. I'm just sick to death of it all. Not being as happy as I should be or can be because of it, not being able to be the same with my partner, the sick feeling I have, the what do I do, I'm scunnered with it all I cry so much because of it. I just want not to have this worry anymore