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Partner with OCD dealing with undiagnosed Paranoid Schizophrenic Sibling


Guest MissMapel

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Guest MissMapel

My partner has depression anxiety and OCD he believes others see him as sinister or a paedophile. He seeks reassurance and finds social situations difficult and finds men threatening. He has a brother who is much more dominant in character. His parents who are medical professionals believe the brother is a Paranoid Schizophrenic yet he is undiagnosed as it must be done voluntarily as he poses no risk to others or to himself as yet. My partner has been attacked verbally by the brother who does not have a clear idea of emotional maturity or empathy. He attacks his sexuality and undermines his confidence. The brother has a music website where he seems to vent his anger on my partner indirectly. I have questioned him and he has admitted to being a troll and that he has been left handed in his approach to my partner and that he would ease up yet his behaviour continues. Both brothers used psychedelic drugs in the past but my partner no longer does the other continues to smoke cannabis. Their mother refuses to accept that the attacks are happening to my partner as she sees the vulnerability of both and will not intervene yet acknowledges that the brother is very ill and vulnerable. Anybody out there with this as a case or any advice? At the moment we have secured an agreement that the mothers house becomes a brother free zone while we visit though (only for one evening). We live a fair distance away and the brother uses the house as a daily base.The brother does not acknowledge any foul play to the parents at all.

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Quite a complex situation you have going on there. At this point there is probably nothing you can do about the brother's behavior, but I wonder what your partner is doing to help himself in regards to his depression, anxiety and OCD. Those are all treatable maladies and his mental health should not take second fiddle to his brother's shenanigans.

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Guest MissMapel

Thank you for your advice it is wonderful to reach out for support with acknowledgment of other people's difficulties. It is the first time I have posted on this forum. The ruminating 'Why? What does he want to gain from this? Does he want me to kill myself? Why does he hate me?' Is the constant turn over 'He saw something in me what if he is right?' Coming to terms with abuse is difficult as my partner loves his brother and goes from anger to disbelief to believing that things can be put right somehow. Sadly this isn't the case. Phone calls to his parents enhance the pain as they see his illness only,rather than acknowledge the abuse being inflicted. They are too close to the trigger. My partner seems to be trying to convince them of the abuse and is in anxiety as to any news about his brother. This perpetuates the cycle and I have recently been encouraging him to partake in the forums and phone the Samaritans and try and steer off the subject of his brother. He goes to Mindfullness classes has had 12 wks CBT which helped a little but he has relapsed by drinking and visiting his brothers website while drunk. This unravelled previous incidents. A week ago he was contemplating asking his brother to go on a trip yet now it dawns on him yet again that his brother has malicious intentions towards him. This goes around in a cycle which is frustrating for me as sadly the realisation brings anxiety and anger. Interestingly he feels responsible for his brother and gilt for letting him down as if he is the baddie. Dealing with abuse is a specific area where he needs help to acknowledge it and recover from feeling a victim. He volunteers but has been having panic attacks recently and is back in touch with the mental health team.

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