I dont get it

[Phili]

So I posted my picture on here and sent it to two of my friends and people visit the house and none of them think I'm ugly...I don't get it, why don't people recoil in horror?

[Guest nikko9000]

So I posted my picture on here and sent it to two of my friends and people visit the house and none of them think I'm ugly...I don't get it, why don't people recoil in horror?

Cause you become biased, because you mind subconsciously backwards rationalizes in order to support your intense thoughts supported to be intense by your fear of them and the time you spend to care to perform compulsions.

[Caramoole]

So I posted my picture on here and sent it to two of my friends and people visit the house and none of them think I'm ugly...I don't get it, why don't people recoil in horror?

Because we don't have a distorted view of things, nor an obsession about your looks. We see the situation "As Is" and see the real image of a completely normal person who looks very nice.

When you've told yourself daily for 20 years that you're ugly, it's hardly surprising you feel that way. Time for change. You haven't had the reaction you expected.....now it's time to trust the experience you've found rather than the reaction you've feared "would" happen

[snowbear]

So I posted my picture on here and sent it to two of my friends and people visit the house and none of them think I'm ugly...I don't get it, why don't people recoil in horror?

Phili, someone who didn't know you at all would interpret this post as the actions of someone who believes she's attractive fishing for compliments by pretending false modesty.

And then posting about her friend's reactions to invite further compliments, expecting people to rush in and say, ''of course you're not ugly!'' :blink:

I don't believe that's what's going on in your conscious mind, because I know you suffer from cripplingly low self-esteem. I know you a little from your posts and have seen how you regularly seek reassurance you're not the bad person you feel you are. :down:

But I have to ask the question why anyone who thought they were capable of making people recoil in horror would post a picture of themselves anywhere or share it with others willingly. If you genuinely believed you were that repulsive would you not avoid camera lenses altogether and refuse to share the few photos of yourself that did get taken?

So I'm thinking maybe this isn't about your physical appearance at all.

Is it possible you're projecting (bad) feelings inside onto the reflection you see of yourself in the mirror?

I wonder if, when you share photos, you're seeking reassurance that other people don't see you the way you see yourself. Maybe you need reassurance that the ugliness you feel inside isn't physically reflected in your face.

Other people don't feel about you what you feel about yourself, so it should be no surprise if nobody else sees some imagined ugliness of character when they look at your photos.

Remember you don't need other people's approval or rejection to validate you. And besides, we all know no amount of external reassurance will change how you feel inside.

Work on building your self-esteem. Not about how you look, but about the type of person you are inside being 'good enough' to be liked. Thankfully none of us need to be perfect (or attractive) to be liked by others.

[jballan]

I have a different prospective than most. If you have low self esteem, perhaps from trauma in life, reassurance is okay. And for people with PTSD it's sometimes necessary. People are a great resource because they can help rebuild your ego and self confidence. Being aware of your needs would be very helpful. If in fact you just unconsciously wanted a "you're not ugly," that would be helpful to your progress. You would learn that you just need to surround yourself with loving people who are willing to tell you how they feel about you. Good luck and work on awareness.

[Guest doris]

hey phili--I think it's great that you took that leap to post your picture even though you were scared to do it. it is scary putting ourselves out there when we are riddled with all sorts of anxious thoughts about how people will react. I applaud you. it was a great picture and a great experiment. keep taking those positive steps towards wellness!