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Ruminating over interactions


Guest Petit4

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Guest Petit4

I'd really like to know if anyone else has this problem. After interactions with people, even people who love or care about me, I worry that I did something wrong while we were talking (or emailing, texting, etc.) ... nothing terrible, just embarrassing, stupid, insensitive, etc. I've always assumed this is part of OCD ruminating, but I've never met anyone who says they have this issue. It causes me a lot of anxiety and makes me feel really bad sometimes.

I'd appreciate any insight or commiseration.

Petit4

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Guest Azamour

I get this aswell and have done for years. I suffer from mild social anxiety and will spend a few days analysing about interactions with people after I have met them. This week for example and I worried about conversations I had with people when I was in the pub last Sunday. The frequency of the thoughts could definitely be termed an obsessive but they will gradually pass with time but I so store them up and they will pop back back into my head periodically.

Although I'm not if this could be called OCD?

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Guest Petit4

I'm not sure if it's ocd either, but it's probably related. I do get a compulsive feeling to have a "better" interaction to replace the one that's bothering me. Of course, that's only possible if I talk to the person regularly. Plus, it doesn't always work and can end up making the person think I'm crazy or try too hard. :p

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Guest Azamour

Trying to replace the interaction with a better one definitely is not a good idea. I think the key here is to work on self esteem so as you naturally look back on these interactions positively which most of them are if you're being honest. CBT can be useful here too. I think there is an element of reping what you sow here also. If you approach social interactions in a paranoid and negative way they will probably turn out like this.

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You bet it's OCD. I've seen this on the forum before.

You get an obsession -- an intrusive thought that you might have done/said something embarassing or wrong. This causes you distress. In response, you perform compulsions, notably ruminating over what you did/said to see if anything was wrong.

Like all other forms of OCD, the way forward is to resist those compulsions. Refuse to go over situations in your head, analyzing what you did or said.

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Guest anatta

Do you worry about being judged or disliked in social situations before and during them as well, or only afterwards? Ruminations like that are normal for people with social anxiety disorder, but if you're not shy and don't see yourself as socially undesirable or incompetent, and these worries only occur about things that have already happened, then I agree with PolarBear.

Edited by anatta
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Guest Petit4

I appreciate all the input. Good questions, everyone, they made me think. I have a little apprehension during social situations, but probably not to the point of social anxiety disorder. I do have some general anxiety issues, but mainly this is about ruminating over things I've already said and wanting to "make up" for it by having a better interaction.

Thanks, PolarBear, for telling me you've seen that here. It has an obsessive feel to it, so that tells me I'd better not give into those compulsions or I'll sabotage myself!

Petit4

Edited by Petit4
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Guest Azamour

I think there are blurred lines between OCD, social anxiety, self esteem, depression and other anxiety disorders. I think I have slight social anxiety which then causes me to obsess over social interactions. This could well be OCD and is certainly obsessive thoughts which are unpleasant and unhealthy so you can apply the OCD framework to them.

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