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What to do while waiting for CBT/ERP when no family support available via CAMHS


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We have just been turned down any offer of family support even .while 17 yr old son is waiting for CBT/ERP at maudsley. Life at home is tough as you'll all know. And we can't even get basic advice on how to tackle what we call touch points eg getting son out of bed to keep a daily routine ;giving him meds ( he can't be relied on to take himself), helping him avoid the compulsions which certainly fuel his obsessions.

Any ideas on how we might appeal against this please?And also what we might do instead assuming the appeal takes ages and /or gets refused anyway - as CAMHS can't/won't help we have got to be even more resourceful than we already are.

I have booked an initial meeting with Relate ( was pleased to see they do couples, family, parenting - all sorts of therapy - so for all of you struggling with the same issue try them) - no idea how long the wait list and of course it's not free now ..... my funds to pay private are dwindling so I am seeking any no cost/low cost options to help the family with learning how to manage better with OCD/teenage /young adult mental health issues in the family . any ideas please? I am reading buckets but cant get the chaps in my family to do so - they respond better to a quick fix of being told .

My husband who is the main carer - I am the bread winner -spirits are waning especially now( as in my other post ) there is no light for a lot longer now in getting CBT/ERP and the double blow of no family support. Would be grateful of any specific ideas please /tips pl to help him as his well being will ensure the right support at home for our son. . I've suggested to my husband he comes on this forum to learn loads and generally feel not so isolated - as a chap he's not very good with forums .... I wonder is there anyone out there in the same position as him - a house husband with 17yr old twin sons - one with OCD !

thanks

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Sorry i couldn't be any real help. I do feel strongly that carers need to look after themselves and take some time out every week to do something for their own well being. In my area there is a carers group specifically for mental health carers. Is there anything like that where you live for your husband? Or just any carers group? I attended a meeting once as I care for my boyfriend, who has severe depression.

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Hi, I was going to say the same thing, if there isnt a specific OCD support group near you, how about a carers' group?

I just wondered who you had approached for family support? Have you thought about giving Ashley a ring? Im a bit confused myself which number it is, but I think you can leave a message on here 0845 120 3778 and hopefully he will get back to you when he has a minute.

I hope your son gets to the Maudsley soon.

Carol

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Guest Hamilton

Hi Littlefoot, I think the NSPCC do family support sessions. There is one in Manchester so I presume there is on in London. As my work as a professional now, these sessions can be quite intense, and two people usually do the support together for the family. I am wondering if your son would be able to manage with these sessions, as it may cause him to become anxious and the the OCD kicks in . I don't think my son before fe started with the therapist would have coped, he may have gone once and that's it. II think he may find it tough in a group situation. It is only a suggestion. Mathew's therapist told me last weekend stating in bed or wanting to go to sleep or bed is a form of protective me ba ism, as it is a way of not having to face the images or shutting off from them. Also they are shattered mentally. Mathew told me his head was in inner turmoil.(I meant to say staying in bed) have you any idea of when he will start his therapy. The waiting list are usually pretty long for family therapy, I think you will be seen at the Maudsley quicker. I don't mean to be pessismistic take care I know it is so hard.

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Thanks hamilton and all.we have today found out that having waited 4 mths we now face at least another 2 mths for CBT / ERP. So we it is highly unlikely that our son will be well enough to get back to school by September 2014.not good but sort of not surprised either. I said al along it was more likely July he would start - and it's looking that way.

agree family therapy would be too much for our son. I was hoping to find more specific family help so we can cope better with our son and in so doing help him better. Having now gone into writing I have finally got some answers from the docs. to the specific things that seem to really cause big tension amongst the family - not least that we can make the normal parental risk assessment on when to leave our son alone/ with his brother so we get a few hours break as parents plus having worried about getting him to take meds at a regular time ans get him up that it's not so critical - this takes the pressure of the morning/ getting up routine ( even though we' ve still got to encourage him to get up! It puts us back in the driving seat of using our parental judgement and not feeling like we are failing . We feel bad enough as it is without more guilt piling on ( even though we know that' s irrational) .

Just wish I didn't t have to keep writing and escalating things to get a response from the medics. If our questions were dealt with quickly a lot of angst and worry would be prevented.

The main trouble is underfunding.

Thank god for this site. It has trulely been a brill help. Thank you everyone.

Have a good Easter break. The sunshine and getting outside does help relieve thetlension and helps our son as he loves outside.

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