I Am Struggling

[taurean]

That's how episodic OCD works.

Suddenly those mental shields drop, a trigger gets through and kicks up personal distress.

Often those shields are fragile when stress is prevalent, snd there's certainly been that.

I'm working my recovery blueprint and support from family and friends is there;

So I'll be quiet for a while; time for others whilst I look after no 1.

Best wishes

Roy

[Guest Leighbee]

I hope you fel better soon xxxxxx

[Purplepiper7]

As do I. You'll get through this, I'm certain. Good job being proactive, everything will be okay. :group:

[Guest Saz]

Feel better soon Roy xxx

[ecomum]

Thinking of you.

[Guest MrsF]

I hope you feel better soon. Reading your posts with your excellent advice has helped me to come out the other end of my relapse. Wishing you a very speedy recovery. x

[tia]

Hello, very sorry to know you are struggling. I always find your posts helpful and sincerely hope you are back on track very soon and feeling better.

[taurean]

Thanks everyone.

We have for me a classic example of the brain locking - a constantly repeating distressing thought "loop".

The way to break a loop is a tricky one and hasn't yet worked but Jeffrey

Schwarz and Brainlock and my blueprint are on the case.

I made it to Chelmsford today and explained my OCD to my colleagues - they find it incredible I can function like this.

What gets me is the obvious breakdown in the frontal lobe of the brain - the neural links involving the 3 elements in the right side.

Normally these work well and smy potential triggers are labelled OCD and resolved. But when an episode starts, for some reason those "shields" are breached and a trigger gets through and jams the works.

Anyway I managed to achieve a lot and will keep the correct therapy goingo over thr long weekend-

Distraction using the "independenr observer" reattributing defusing and refocusing.

Hope to shut down the loop as soon as possible.

Roy

Edited April 17, 2014 by taurean

[Guest Shannon]

You are obviously a strong person and very determined, I have faith that you will be back in control soon x

[Guest Jules123]

Hi Roy

I don't contribute to posts a lot but I do a lot of reading and just wanted to echo what everyone else has said; I find your posts truly thoughtful, helpful and inspiring and hope you will back on top of this very soon.

Jules x

[daisy]

Hi Roy,i hope you are soon feeling much better,your posts are always so helpful and well thought out,you seem to have the knack of knowing what to say to help.

Best wishes

Gill x

[taurean]

Hello Gill,

I'm really bad at the moment - it really is "brainlock" that is the problem, linked with distressing harm thoughts that are constantly looping in my mind.

Timing isn't great is it, we were both looking forward to a few days break, and we have this awful problem.

But we've been here before many times - this is my flavour of OCD, and it's especially hurtful because of the constantly whirring thought loops.

We have a blueprint, but one of the features of this type of OCD is that the words or images change, but with the effect - the "looping thought" - remaining, so it's a big challenge.

Sometimes just visiting a medical practitioner kicks me out of a loop relapse -- last time going to the doctor and getting some propranolol for the anxiety did it - i only needed the propranolol for a couple of days. Some years ago having a medical did it - just talking to the doctor about the OCD at the end of the medical threw me out of the loop.

Another time doubling my St John's Wort to two tablets kicked me out of a loop

But OCD being such a challenging foe, it doesn't usually l fall for the same things again. So I'm trying some other things.

Edited April 20, 2014 by taurean

[daisy]

Hi Roy,

I really am sorry you are having a bad time with your OCD,maybe it's to do with all the added stress you have been having at work.

I must admit i don't have much knowledge of this type of OCD but i can imagine how awful it must be,especially so when you have been free of it for quite a while.

I truly hope that you can find something soon that will break the loop and help you.

Wishing you all the best Roy x

[taurean]

Yes I think the stress, and how I react to a setback, is fundamental to this breakdown.

Hopefully the stress part is resolved, but I've got to climb back up the ladders that sit alongside the snakes i slipped down in the relapse.

This is at the heart of the manifestation of my problem; the combination of "episodic OCDand thought loop" (the brain locking) and the dredging up from my memory of other nasty words/ phrases/images that then keeps up a momentum of distress and maintains the circle and vicious flower.

Of course, any suggestions as always with the forum will be greatly appreciated.

But my theme today is accepting that this is how it works, getting busy - writing and gardening - to boost distraction, and spending a little quality time (even in a distressed emotional state) with my lovely wife.She is very long-suffering on this, and deserves a massive gold star.

Slipping in a thought wedge (distraction) to disrupt the thought loop and ease round the "Brainlock " is I think the best front-line strategy today. Tightening the grip on the snake to stop slipping can be concurrent, but I think climbing the ladders can only follow once I've eased the looping thoughts.

[whitebeam]

Hope you are soon feeling better, Roy.

[taurean]

Hello everyone

I've done a lot of work today on my short-term goals and I've revised my recovery Blueprint. Accordingly I am now feeling much better about myself and i know all the distressing material is just dredged up by OCD.

But I've been rung pretty ragged with the anxiety, which has caused me - as it usually does - increased blood pressure and pulse and tension in the muscles.

So short-term goal remains to shut down my looping thoughts, and then shut down the anxiety response to those thoughts - then I'll feel better,a d can address the climbing of the ladders!