When the cup gets heavy, put it down for awhile

[Guest Otloz]

I recently watched a youtube-video from a Buddhist monk, who used a very simple metaphor for stress and anxiety. Basically, even if there's not much going on in your life or if the factors that produce stress, might not seem that big, they can have a massive impact. If you hold a cup of water long enough your arm will start to hurt. Then you start to notice the hurt and it gets more and more unbearable. This is where you simply put the cup down for awhile.

What does this mean in practice? As people get used to their OCD, they start to recgognize certain patterns that start provoking them. Usually the explanation for said triggers lies in stress in other areas of life, not in the trigger itself. Financial worries, maybe worries about a relationship, all this everyday stuff gradualy starts to take its toll and turns into something "absurd".

Maybe you have a deadline at work and your constantly thinking about it. You start to notice certain ways of thinking and if you're mindful enough, you can recgognize the upcoming anxiety-attack and sometimes even "stop" it. This is the crucial point; you can put the cup down or you can follow the train of thought into the realms of fear and terror. When you recgognize the thoughts, you can take a break from whatever it is you're doing. The break doesn't have to be anything special, but even a few minutes of just breathing can be very beneficial in re-energizing yourself and can help you deal with the rising emotions better.

Paradoxically, I think most people with OCD are not very good at handling stress. This might seem like a weird statement, since we're anxious all the time. Obviously everyone is different and I'm only writing from my own personal experience. Working with my therapist I started to notice a pattern in my OCD and the explanation for the anxiety attacks was usually quite "mundane": maybe I forgot to return that tax return, maybe I didn't get the job that I was applying for. Recgognizing this stress can be crucial in dealing with the anxiety: "Right now I'm having anxiety. Anxiety is a normal response for disappointing situations". You can practice making this "mental note" before you go down the path of OCD. There doesn't need to be a terrible worst case scenario "explanation" for the anxiety you're experiencing. It's normal and it only turns problematic when you start the ruminating-cycle. Now that I look back on this weeks anxiety attack, I understand how it was yet again triggered by stress in my normal everyday life.

What does everyone think? And please, I sincerely ask that we don't turn this conversation into a battle of reassurance or personal conflicts. Like I said these are just my personal observations, that I thought might help people.

Edited May 22, 2015 by Otloz

[taurean]

One of my favourite sayings I have picked up on the road through life is "If life hands you a lemon, make lemonade from it!!!".

My sister and I were both handed the lemon of OCD, but both of us have learned to make excellent lemonade.

And she was additionally handed the lemon of not being able to conceive despite all the available medical assistance - so she made lemonade by adopting a boy and a girl. Despite their lemon of being given up for adoption, my nephew and niece made very good lemonade too and both became very successful.

My sister obtained a degree in music, married a music graduate, and became a great music teacher - privately, in her own home.

I made lemonade by despite my OCD managing to progress to hold an HND in Business Studies, I became an Associate of The Chartered Insurance Institute by examination and a Chartered Insurance Broker, and worked in that trade for 44 years until my retirement.

[taurean]

We can take a pause from our anxiety, and our OCD, by using relaxation skills. Just finding a safe place and then simply focusing on the breath is all that is needed.

It really takes time out from the disorder, and slows down the stress.

We can also ease down the stress that exacerbates our OCD by - providing our state of health and fitness permits this - getting up a head of steam exercising. Vigorous aerobic exercise burns off the stress chemicals, and also triggers endorphins - the "happiness hormones"

And yes, focusing away from our OCD thoughts and fears will help reduce the anxiety and stress that they generate.

:original:

[ecomum]

I have found Budhism helps a lot with my ocd.if i am mindful when i do things i tend not to need to check so much. If i always try to be kind then i know if i harm someone it was an accident so i dont feel so guilty ( eg i would not knowingly or deliberately contaminate or offend someone)

[Cub]

I think it's an excellent analogy and puts things into perspective. I think Buddhism can be a real help to those who follow it, as encourages self-help and self-kindness. Thanks for sharing.

C x

[Guest Otloz]

I have found Budhism helps a lot with my ocd.if i am mindful when i do things i tend not to need to check so much. If i always try to be kind then i know if i harm someone it was an accident so i dont feel so guilty ( eg i would not knowingly or deliberately contaminate or offend someone)

And even if things get rough, it's never too late to return to a state of equanimity. That's the finest thing!

[taurean]

I like some forms of buddhist meditation.Calming and empowering.

[taurean]

When the cup of working our ERP gets heavy, we can of course take a break and put the cup down. Though we need to be careful not to lose any good momentum.

I have done well on ERP but am going to ease off a little just a wee while.