Does anyone not know how they feel

[Mrs brown]

Ever since this all started the depression then the thoughts/anxietys/obsessions I can't describe how I feel like it's just feels like this waves over me and some days I'll be ok act happy feel good then others I'll lie in bed crying all day but not actually knowing why. I've felt this way for so long. I use to go home from school and lie on the kitchen floor crying. It's like I don't know if things will ever change. I find it so hard to make friends I can't date because of my anxiety and I've been hurt in the past so I'm prob scared it happens again so I suppose I feel a bit lonely and isolated but I seem to be addicted to like toxic people and cling on for as long as I could and find it hard to like socialise with other people I don't know what to do just one of them days I suppose