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Greetings from the Great White North


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What to say, what to say.

OCD started for me in childhood and got bad when I was 11. It got worse after that. I suffered for 40 years in secret before finally admitting to myself and my loved ones that I had a problem. That was last year.

For me OCD has been rapid cycling. I go from one type of obsession to another. I might experience 5 or more types in one day. During ERP therapy I wrote down all of my obsessions. Took a while but I got the list to 17.

I was diagnosed with severe/extreme OCD, with many days completely filled with obsessions and compulsions. I would hit a bump in the road and have to stop and get out to see if I had run someone over. I could not just lock my car once; I had to do it several times.

I avoided crowds because I would see myself screaming out every swear word in the book. I had severe sexual orientation obsessions, and lots of nasty thoughts about harming others. Starting at 11 I had thoughts about raping children.

I am mostly a ruminator, spending hours and hours on compulsions. Whether I had OCD or not became a 10 year ruminating battle inside my head. Suicide was always an option lurking in my mind.

Last year I was put on meds. I went to a number of relaxation therapy sessions and participated in nine sessions of erp therapy. Today my obsessions have been cut by about 80% and what is left is weak and manageable.

40 years of severe ocd was hell, but it sure is nice on this side of the fence, I'll tell you.

Edited by PolarBear
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