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Contemplating - Depressing I warn you.


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It was the story of Ashya on the news, I'm very protective of kids and child welfare concerns me greatly but for some reason Ashya affected me more than usual.

Today I looked at my reflection which is something I try to avoid, it makes me feel weird because the monster in the mirror doesn't look like me and It feels like someone else is in the mirror. Anyway I realized that I look old. I kept thinking of Ashya, he is only five years old, he could grow up, fall in love, get married, have kids, get job that benefits people, go out, go to college, instead he most likely wont make six. And then I looked at the quality of my life and I just wish I could give my life to him so that he could live it and do something with it. I used to wish the same for my Mom. She had such an unhappy life that I used to wish and even pray that she could have my life so that she could live hers over.

I feel like because the quality of my life is so low, it is unfair that I live and well...I don't know, maybe I shouldn't think so much

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Phili, Im sure other people will know how you feel. My son's best friend died of leukaemia a little while ago in his early 20s and my son would happily have given him his life so he could live on, but sadly some children and adults just can't be saved and no life isn't fair.

Your Mum would be very proud of how far you have come in a short time and that is the way to think of it. You can't give her your life, but what you can do is live yours to the best of your ability, no one knows what that will be, we are all different, but you will know you did your best and so will she.

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I quite often feel like I'm just quietly withering away. All my dreams were dashed by my overprotective parents, now, at 25, I look back and think...what hope do I have? I'm physically disabled and always struggled with a job, but that doesn't mean I can't do anything. I quite often feel I'm under-achieving, so I've started getting creative and volunteering.

Ashya's health is unfortunate, we can hope for a miracle for him but I'm afraid (and I hate to be the one who says this) I don't think what his parents did was right. The NHS might not offer proton beam therapy, but we have some fantastic neurosurgeons who would do all they could do. With that said, my parents used to remove me from school everytime they fell out with the director of education, and nobody ran to the authorities.

Try not to beat yourself up, it's sad and unfortunate, yes, but no amount of wishing and hoping will give Aysha your life. It's beyond your control. What you could do is see this as a turning point in your lie and think about what you're unhappy with, then work towards changing that. I never used to do much. I'm a different person for some volunteering!

FoosBoo88 x

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Hi phili its so sad isn't it. I hate reading or hearing about these kinds of things as they really seem to get to me and make me feel so upset and down. I think it's a natural response as we are kind and sensitive people. Don't beat yourself up.

Foos is right miracles do happen. However I do not agree at all with his parents being locked up while their child is dying and they had every right to take their child away and do what they think is right for them, I find that wrong-but I guess that's another debate.

Keep strong. X

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