Do HOCD & POCD operate the same way?

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

When suffering from HOCD people tend to feel like they are losing their attractions to their previously preferred sex (straight people - begin to not feel attractions to the opposite sex; gay people - begin to lose feelings of attraction to the same sex). As their previous attractions fade, heterosexuals feel more sexually attracted to same sex members and homosexuals, the opposite.

In POCD is it possible for the same change to happen. People who were previously attracted to adults become less attracted and feel little desire towards adults but feel like their attractions are shifting towards children?

Is this how it works in both HOCD & POCD?

Does anyone know how OCD makes this happen?

Edited October 24, 2014 by HeadAboveWater

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

Also, how to you get past thinking you are attracted to a certain person?

My intrusive thoughts have stuck to a specific person (mostly, though it still is a general intrusive obsession) I have avoided seeing this person or looking at pictures of them on Facebook and now I feel like I really do have some kind of attraction to them. I don't know for sure but it is such a weird thing. Whenever I see pictures of them I get a groinal response and picture them naked and I can't tell if I actually like it or not. Somehow I am grossed out but somehow I'm not sure if I actually am.

What techniques can I use to get past this particular obsession - should I not avoid pictures of them even if I feel like a complete creep or get groinal responses? What else can I do to get past this (hopefully) false attraction?

Edited October 24, 2014 by HeadAboveWater

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

Someone, anyone?

[Ascend]

:-/

[Guest legend]

Perhaps you should purchase a good book on ocd, that helps re knowledge

Re false attraction, you don't avoid u deliberatly expose yourself to the false fears

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

Right, but what do I do when I expose myself to the people I fear to be attracted to.... and then I get the REAL feelings like I am attracted or groinal responses?

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

:-/

I see, you are disappointed, Ascend. I'm struggling...

[Guest PaulM]

The obsession could be anything. OCD is OCD and, being what it is it's very sneaky. It's difficult to realize at times, but it can find anything to cause doubts in.

[Guest RoundTheTwist]

Hi HeadAboveWater, I'm going through a similar thing, lately my pocd thoughts and urges have been through the roof. I had 10 days of doing really well, everything was dying down and then boom, it all came back stronger than ever. I feel less attracted to my boyfriend and it sickens me because it makes me feel like I'm becoming my fear; logically I know it's nothing but OCD but it still doesn't make me feel any better.

You've got OCD the same as I have, the thing is to try and stop ruminating or you just keep going round and round, I like to think of it like a hamster on a wheel, running and running but not getting anywhere. Stop questioning and try and distract yourself, the 10 good days I had I distracted myself, kept myself busy and I noticed myself feeling a lot better. You can fight this x

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

Thank you, RoundTheTwist. I really appreciate your advice, especially since you seem to understand exactly what I am going through. I feel like I am making progress to beat this but I still have so many doubts... and the groinal responses are so frustrating - they send me back to wondering if the thoughts are true!

I also hate the fact that I can't feel the same attraction for my husband that I always had before. I just want to be with him the way we were without having these thoughts invade and make me think I am living a lie or that I am so kind of sick pervert.

Fingers crossed for both of us, that we will recover from this soon.

Thanks again, for your message. xx

[Guest RoundTheTwist]

Anytime, I'm just glad I could help in any way I know how lonely this illness can make you feel, that you're the only one struggling through it. I feel like a monster for most of every day, constant doubting, urges, thoughts, the whole lot.

I've ended up pushing my boyfriend away, it makes me so sad that I can't kiss him or be intimate anymore because of all the thoughts I have, I feel guilty to do stuff like that with him because I know I'll still end up thinking stuff so generally I avoid giving him affection. However, I realise that isn't the right thing to do as its giving in to OCD and causing further problems in our relationship; I need to work on just letting the thoughts sit there and not react to them.

I think the reason we feel like we're losing our attraction to the men in our lives is because we're anxious, hoping to feel the attraction, freaking out if we're not etc etc. In a nutshell we need to just not give a monkeys about our thoughts, easier said than done I know...but what's the alternative? We can sit moping, ruminating and feeling like rubbish forever or we can defeat this monster and crack on with out lives...let's not be a victim to our own brains

[Ascend]

I see, you are disappointed, Ascend. I'm struggling...

Not disappointed, just sad to see you doing this to yourself. Going down the same paths I went down...

[Guest legend]

Right, but what do I do when I expose myself to the people I fear to be attracted to.... and then I get the REAL feelings like I am attracted or groinal responses?

With the help of a good therapist and self help yes you will do exposures

Howbdo you get rid of intrusive thoughts /groinals, you don't get rid you change the way you respond to it

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

Not disappointed, just sad to see you doing this to yourself. Going down the same paths I went down...

Well, thanks for caring, Ascend. I feel pushed to work harder.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

With the help of a good therapist and self help yes you will do exposures

Howbdo you get rid of intrusive thoughts /groinals, you don't get rid you change the way you respond to it

I'm trying.... I really, really am. It may not seem that way with all the posts lately but I am making a bit of progress. Maybe only a tiny bit.

Thank you for your reply - and keeping me aware of how to work on it.

[Guest legend]

1 day at a time.. Recovery is steps for some its a marathon for others is a sprint

[PolarBear]

You're asking all these questions, HeadAboveWater, because you're scared that this isn't OCD but that you are, in fact, what your intrusive thoughts tell you that you are. You're not convinced yet that you are dealing with OCD.

The sooner you decide you are dealing with OCD the sooner you will begin to get better. You cannot go down the path to wellness without first setting aside the doubt that this is OCD. It's a leap of faith and only you can take it.

I know what I'm talking about. I searched on the Internet relentlessly. I questioned whether I had OCD or not. I read people's stories but couldn't find one that exactly fit me. To me that meant I wasn't like that person. I was different. It kept the doubt alive and made me think I wasn't dealing with OCD. Here's the kicker: I spent 10 years doing this. Yup. I spent 10 years doing what you're doing right now -- searching for a definitive answer as to whether you're dealing with OCD or not.

If I had had a crystal ball, I would have seen that my behavior during that decade smacked of OCD. Only when I finally gave up searching for the truth and start behaving like I knew that truth (that I had OCD) did my journey to wellness begin.

I went through the same thing as you. Well what about this? What about that thought I had? Is what I'm feeling the way I'm supposed to be feeling? And on and on and on. It's fruitless to try and get every answer to every question. As long as you search you'll never find the truth. You'll never be satisfied with the answers and more questions will come up.

Take the leap of faith and treat it as OCD. You'll be glad you did.

[Guest legend]

You're asking all these questions, HeadAboveWater, because you're scared that this isn't OCD but that you are, in fact, what your intrusive thoughts tell you that you are. You're not convinced yet that you are dealing with OCD.

The sooner you decide you are dealing with OCD the sooner you will begin to get better. You cannot go down the path to wellness without first setting aside the doubt that this is OCD. It's a leap of faith and only you can take it.

I know what I'm talking about. I searched on the Internet relentlessly. I questioned whether I had OCD or not. I read people's stories but couldn't find one that exactly fit me. To me that meant I wasn't like that person. I was different. It kept the doubt alive and made me think I wasn't dealing with OCD. Here's the kicker: I spent 10 years doing this. Yup. I spent 10 years doing what you're doing right now -- searching for a definitive answer as to whether you're dealing with OCD or not.

If I had had a crystal ball, I would have seen that my behavior during that decade smacked of OCD. Only when I finally gave up searching for the truth and start behaving like I knew that truth (that I had OCD) did my journey to wellness begin.

I went through the same thing as you. Well what about this? What about that thought I had? Is what I'm feeling the way I'm supposed to be feeling? And on and on and on. It's fruitless to try and get every answer to every question. As long as you search you'll never find the truth. You'll never be satisfied with the answers and more questions will come up.

Take the leap of faith and treat it as OCD. You'll be glad you did.

as we say one day at a time

[PolarBear]

True enough, legend. Oh but for a different life if I had met you 10 years ago.

[Guest legend]

True enough, legend. Oh but for a different life if I had met you 10 years ago.

indeed

[dksea]

One thing that might help is to not label it as POCD or HOCD or any other alphabet OCD. It's not uncommon to come across people using those terms, but the reality is that OCD is OCD. While the worries may vary from person to person, the underlying problem, fear and doubt are the same. The problem with labeling it something like HOCD, is that it makes it seem like the specific fear is the issue. Yes the specific thing you fear hurts but not because it's important, in fact treating it as less important is part of recovery.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

One thing that might help is to not label it as POCD or HOCD or any other alphabet OCD. It's not uncommon to come across people using those terms, but the reality is that OCD is OCD. While the worries may vary from person to person, the underlying problem, fear and doubt are the same. The problem with labeling it something like HOCD, is that it makes it seem like the specific fear is the issue. Yes the specific thing you fear hurts but not because it's important, in fact treating it as less important is part of recovery.

Yes, I know that it is all OCD. It's just not always easy to pin-down symptoms that are ''all OCD''. I obviously struggle to see how contamination OCD is similar to sexual themes... and therefore, to understand how to overcome things, I think it can be useful to limit it to POCD, HOCD, Contamination.... because then I have more ideas on how to cope and what compulsions I need to cut out (as they are different in certain themes).

However, I also recognize what you are saying is true. If I put soooo much emphasis on that fact that I have sexual obsessions, I will begin to concentrate on the content rather than how to stop the compulsions. I do struggle a lot to even see it always as OCD. Especially when I get triggered completely randomly.

I appreciate your input - you are always very helpful here on the forum.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

You're asking all these questions, HeadAboveWater, because you're scared that this isn't OCD but that you are, in fact, what your intrusive thoughts tell you that you are. You're not convinced yet that you are dealing with OCD.

The sooner you decide you are dealing with OCD the sooner you will begin to get better. You cannot go down the path to wellness without first setting aside the doubt that this is OCD. It's a leap of faith and only you can take it.

I know what I'm talking about. I searched on the Internet relentlessly. I questioned whether I had OCD or not. I read people's stories but couldn't find one that exactly fit me. To me that meant I wasn't like that person. I was different. It kept the doubt alive and made me think I wasn't dealing with OCD. Here's the kicker: I spent 10 years doing this. Yup. I spent 10 years doing what you're doing right now -- searching for a definitive answer as to whether you're dealing with OCD or not.

If I had had a crystal ball, I would have seen that my behavior during that decade smacked of OCD. Only when I finally gave up searching for the truth and start behaving like I knew that truth (that I had OCD) did my journey to wellness begin.

I went through the same thing as you. Well what about this? What about that thought I had? Is what I'm feeling the way I'm supposed to be feeling? And on and on and on. It's fruitless to try and get every answer to every question. As long as you search you'll never find the truth. You'll never be satisfied with the answers and more questions will come up.

Take the leap of faith and treat it as OCD. You'll be glad you did.

10 years? Ugh..... I don't know if I would make it that long.... but I am glad you did.

Thank you for smacking me in the face with your knowledge.... I know I have been seeking reassurance by trying to figure out if certain things are normal or what is part of OCD or not. I have been diagnosed and I still struggle to always accept that it is OCD..... I guess, it is the fear of what if it's not and I would actually be in denial or lying about the truth. I want the truth... I don't want a cover-up. I will try harder to accept it, though... it seems most people with OCD struggle to see that it really is just OCD and nothing more.

Your post really helped me to see that I am keeping myself stuck in this cycle by constantly doubting that I have this disorder. It may not seem like it but lately I have been able to brush off the thoughts more often and even see the OCD patterns plain and clear. Those are good moments.... they give me hope. I just need to learn to believe that it's OCD in moments where it's not so plain and clear.

Really, thank you for sharing that, PolarBear. I feel like you can definitely understand as you have gone through it... and it's really kind of you to help others understand, as well.

Today I will take the leap of faith and believe it is OCD! (Hopefully, I can do it more than just today)

Edited October 25, 2014 by HeadAboveWater

[Guest OCDsufferer9]

I'm going through the same thing as well. I suffer from POCD and it's one of the worst things I have ever been through in my life. At the moment, I feel like I'm absolutely attracted to kids but I know I don't want to be with them, even though I'm doubting even this now. On the contrary, they make me feel uncomfortable and scare me too so it must mean that I don't want to be with them. I hope this is just OCD because it's killing me! I'm glad I'm not alone in this, though because it really does feel real!

[dksea]

It can be hard to see what possible connection there is between someone who cleans their house for hours at a time due to fears of contamination and another person who is bombarded by worries that they might be gay. I imagine the history of OCD includes a period where various of these fears weren't even recognized as having the same cause, until some insightful women and men started noticing the patterns underlying the seemingly different behaviors. Thank goodness they did since it has helped lead to a better understanding of OCD including how we treat it.

And I agree that identifying the fears you have is important, both for helping identify the associated compulsions as you point out and for filling in the details of things like ERP steps.

In the end though, the answer to the original question, do these various flavors of OCD operate in the same way? In general yes they pretty much do. OCD causes us to feel fear and doubt related to some image or thought and leads us to engage in compulsive behaviors to try and relieve the distress and doubt. OCD wears many masks, but it's the same ugly ******* underneath.