Help with anger and violent thoughts.

[Guest Gale1982]

Hey all

I've been having a few anger issues lately, well for a long time really. I get these really violent images of hurting people. I wouldn't mind asking you if I'm handling them the right way?

So I'll be thinking about killing someone in a very horrible way (almost like a daydream). These thoughts can go on for a good few minutes before I realise what I'm doing. I immediately think "woowha" and the thought abates. I then backtrack my thoughts and try to workout what caused me to start thinking so angrily. Its usually religion, politics or something else that I tend to waste a lot of time on.

So, is this something I should be worried about? - I am worried about them, especially the frequency.

Is trying to work out what caused them a compulsion?

Is this just general anger and not really OCD?

Lastly, are the topics of thoughts I mentioned triggers and if so, how do I practically go about engaging with them rather than avoiding them?

Thanks for reading and any thoughts would be much appreciated, its a bit of a grind at the moment

[Guest Tricia]

Trying to analyse the thoughts is the wrong approach, but how angry do you feel?

[Guest Gale1982]

Hi Tricia,

Its hard to say, I'm not sure if I get angry in the same way most people might; tend to internalise it. Guess I wouldn't mind killing someone - sounds really awful to say it

Kind of confusing...

[Guest lizinlondon]

Do you know what is making you angry? When I started my SSRI I developed harm OCD for a few months. I think the chemicals in my brain were all over the place. I thought I would hit someone in the street. I treated as OCD and ignored the images and thoughts. Eventually they became less although I still have the odd one or two.

It might not be OCD or medication related. In this case you are angry for a reason. If you solve the problem the anger will go. Working out what makes you angry can be hard.

It could akso be a general sense of frustration, which makes me angry. For example I.get frustrated that my life isn't working as I planned. I then channel this anger into trying to move forward. I might read, walk in the park, buy something I need to help me move forward like new shoes or a coat. Exercise also helps.

Good luck x

[Guest Gale1982]

Hi Liz,

What did you do when you had a thought of hitting someone in the street? How did you handle the thought?

Edited October 25, 2014 by Gale1982

[Guest Gale1982]

Also, I'm not sure if working out what is making me angry is the best thing to do. I've been trying to work it out for years and have got nowhere, just more anger.

[Punk8888]

Anger can be caused by stress or being constantly irritated, I believe when you have too much pent up frustrations, they are bound to come out in one way or another. Day dreaming can be seen as extracting your bottled up frustrations or emotions.

[Guest lizinlondon]

When I had those harm images, I ignored them, I accepted they were there, they were distressing, and I did not respond to them. I must have had 1000s of these images, everyday, walking down the street. It was painful but I did not react. I never did hit anyone and the images became less as I did not respond. It took 2 months to get over it.

As far as not looking into.what is making you angry. If it is the past or a person, then you need to change the way you think about it. I am angry with things that happened on my childhood but I have learned to see it differently. It is in the past, it was not my fault, I can change and make a good life. The anger does come back and I just need to keep reminding myself that the event is over now.

Otherwise you might need to develop an activity you do when you feel angry that works for you to calm you down.

[Guest Gale1982]

I hear what you're saying, Liz. I know I'm still very angry about things that happened years ago. I just cant see how that is connected to me having visions of torturing and killing people because of unrelated subjects or events.

Just this morning, I was having the most horrendous thoughts about a college who has owed me money for quite a while and who I suspect was giving me the runaround. That person has a family and is a really nice guy. There could have been a legitimate reason but my mind was running away with its negative self.

I've never, never, ever been able to find any peace or resolution with these thoughts. I've never had a eureka moment and put it to rest. I just notice that sometimes I have these thoughts and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I lay awake at night, replaying things that happened in the past over and over and sometimes I sleep like a baby...

I really don't know if I should be engaging with this stuff or if I should be distracting myself from it. Is it OCD or is there really something there that I have to figure out? How do you know? I'm terrified I might end up doing something bad to someone some day.

[PolarBear]

Trying to work out why you are having the thoughts is definitely a compulsion. You need to work to resist and eventually stop doing so. Compulsions like this have the reverse effect you think. Instead of working things out and putting the original intrusive thoughts to rest, they give you some temporary relief but also reinforce the obsessions. In effect performing the compulsion strengthens the obsession and ensures it will come back stronger and more often in the future.

When you get an obsession about harming someone, force yourself to stop analyzing it. It doesn't matter what triggered it or what thought of yours sparked the obsession to show up. Work to not figure it out and work to not analyze the thought. Just let it be and don't react to it. It takes a lot of practice to get it right but you can get there.

[Guest Gale1982]

Thanks Polarbear,

Its tough knowing which thoughts are which, having to monitor them all the time is exhausting... Its so tempting to run with them, the answer always feels like its just round the corner...it never is.

Congratulations on 3000 posts by the way

Thanks for your input guys, reckon I've got it now

[dksea]

If you are having these unwanted violent thoughts and they are causing you distress that's likely OCD and trying to "figure it out" especially if you spend a lot of time on it sounds like compulsive behavior.

On the other hand if you find yourself having a lot of anger and the thoughts don't necessarilly bother you, it may be some other issue. If you haven't already I think it couldn't hurt to talk about it with your therapist and see what they think.