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Guest taurl

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Guest taurl

Hello everyone,

My name is Brian. I am 18 years old from the United States. I, sadly, suffer from severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, depression and Body Dysmorphic Disorder which has been been an ongoing struggle for me since I was about 5 years old. I came to this site because in my current condition, I am unable to find treatment for my various psychological inhibitions and as a result, I have been contemplating committing suicide for quite some time now. This is my last resort until I am able to see a professional. I know that there are other people like me out there and I am definitely eager to get to know each and every one of you. I need as much support I am able to receive at the moment and I greatly appreciate it.

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Hi Brian

Please hang on till you can see a professional. In the UK people are advised to go to the hospital emergency department if they're feeling suicidal. I know things are different where you are but there must be some support available if you're feeling that bad?

Is there anyone you can talk to - friends, family, any help lines you can phone?

How does your OCD affect you at the moment? Mine used to be really bad but it's improved a bit lately. I also have periods of depression. If you re-post this on the main forum you'll get a lot more responses, not many people read this 'introduce yourself' one.

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Guest taurl

Thank you for replying,

In most areas of the U.S. it is very difficult to find help for these types of issue, mainly because everything revolves around money and connections. People like me, raised in a single parent home with two other children, are not taken very seriously with our issues. I am afraid of going to an emergency room because I do not want them to charge my family, it would only make things worse. I have tried contacting a suicide help line, but I cannot seem to remain comfortable enough to talk with someone over the phone about these things, I tend to do a much better job expressing myself through written text, like this.

My OCD at the moment is very severe, and difficult to control on my own. I obsess over anything that is generally considered negative like hurting someone, hurting myself, becoming something I am not, losing the people I care about the most, losing my own identity, never accomplishing anything in life or getting better, failing in school. These thoughts are very debilitating and difficult to manage. Because of this, I haven't attended school in over a year, I am stuck in my own home and my current living conditions are not helping which is why I have been contemplating suicide. I have tried talking to my family but no one seems to listen or care about me.

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Yeah talking about things can be very difficult. Are you on a waiting list for therapy? Do you have to pay and can you afford it?

I sympathise - my family just laughed at me and told me to stop being stupid when I first got ill with OCD (when I was 11). Is there anyone you can talk to who is likely to be more understanding? It's so important to get some help from somewhere. Killing yourself is not the answer, things CAN and WILL improve for you.

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Guest taurl

As for therapy, there are several factors that interfere with my ability to find the right resources for treatment.. It's most time, money and distance. In order for me to find an actual therapist, my mother has to search for one through her insurance which takes quite a bit of time to do, especially because I am 18 now. Without insurance, I cannot afford treatment and where I live, everything is spread out which makes it difficult to get around without transportation, which in my case my family doesn't have right now. Unfortunately, right now, I have no one to talk to. Most of my family either denies it or refuses to acknowledge it. My younger brother has also been suffering from OCD and we both need therapy. This makes things especially difficult.

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