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Ocd is taking over


Guest Sandy12345

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Guest Sandy12345

Hi everyone,

I havent ever written in a forum before to speak about my ocd and I feel quite anxious doing so. I have been suffering with ocd for many years. The last few years have been the most difficult and up till now it is even worse. At first it started with counting things, looking at things a certain amount of times and repeating things in my head until Im sure its enough. No matter how much it stresses me I feel I have no choice but to count and say things in my head. I wash my hands constantly after everything I touch as Im so scared that I will catch something. Recently I change my bed sheets everyday as I think theyre dirty when theyre not. I constantly wash my clothes even though I have not worn them. If something drops on the floor it has to go in the wash. If my hair touches something which I think is dirty I have to wash my hair. There are so many things Ive lost count. Iam truly fed up and I know Im not the only one like this however, i

Dont have anyone who i can express this to, and thats the reason i joined. If anyone has any advice that would be great!

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Guest Sisyphus

Hi everyone,

I havent ever written in a forum before to speak about my ocd and I feel quite anxious doing so. I have been suffering with ocd for many years. The last few years have been the most difficult and up till now it is even worse. At first it started with counting things, looking at things a certain amount of times and repeating things in my head until Im sure its enough. No matter how much it stresses me I feel I have no choice but to count and say things in my head. I wash my hands constantly after everything I touch as Im so scared that I will catch something. Recently I change my bed sheets everyday as I think theyre dirty when theyre not. I constantly wash my clothes even though I have not worn them. If something drops on the floor it has to go in the wash. If my hair touches something which I think is dirty I have to wash my hair. There are so many things Ive lost count. Iam truly fed up and I know Im not the only one like this however, i

Dont have anyone who i can express this to, and thats the reason i joined. If anyone has any advice that would be great!

Hiya Sandy,

Well done for singing up and talking about it.

Sounds like a pretty hefty does of contamination obsessions and compulsions there. You'll find lots of people with similar issues here. And repeating stuff till it feels "right" is another common theme, along with checking and counting.

Have you toaed to your GP about any of this? Have you heard of a thing called CBT?

Cheers

David.

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Guest Sandy12345

Hi David,

Thanks for replying. I have not spoken to a GP about it as i feel i dont want to speak about it so openly. I know that speaking to someone might help but i feel my ocd is so powerful. I have heard of CBT but have not read into it that much. I feel as though i need constant reassurance for everything that i do, think and say. It is starting to irritate the people around me but they dont understand. I feel as though Iam not confident in anything I do. I always second guess myself. Its

Got to a point that if i go out to lunch and for some reason i think the food is not clean i will throw it away. My ocd is becoming is starting to become time consuming.

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Guest Sisyphus

Hi Sandy,

Well all in good time. Softly softly catchy monkey. Baby steps. Each to their capacity. And so on!

But also consider that this could be a long path and the sooner you get the ball rolling, the sooner you may get some of your life back.

I do understand about the doctors. All you would really need to say to him is that you have very strong reason to believe you have OCD and would like to see a CPN to get assessed. Then the CPN should ask you a few questions to gauge how bad it is before signing you up for therapy.

Obviously no-one's gonna make you do any of that, but it's generally considered that CBT(cognitive behavioural therapy), possibly combined with medication, is the best approach to treating OCD. Doesn't work for everybody first time. Doesn't work for some full stop, but it's the thing that has the best results across the board.

In the meantime you might want to consider reading a book or two on OCD to get familiar with the disorder and the associated terminology. 2 that get recommedned a lot here are Brain Lock and Break Free from OCD. One my therapist uses is The OCD Workbook.

You're right people don't understand. It's a very tricky thing to understand is the problem I think.

The other symptoms you've described sound very typical of OCd and I've been through a bit of that myself. Still am actually. Currently on my 2nd attempt at CBT and OCD is still in pretty much full flow with me. Hence Im up at this ungodly hour! So you're not alone anyway Sandy.

Cheers,

David.

Edit: Oh and I forgot to mention - I *think* there might be an option to self-refer for CBT now, but I would need to double check this. I guess it would just mean missing the GP out so one less person to talk to.

Any questions, fire away.

Edited by Sisyphus
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Guest Sandy12345

Do you find that the medication helps and the CBT? Do you feel that it is strong enough to at least try and conquer your ocd?

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Guest Sandy12345

Do you find that the medication helps and the CBT? Do you feel that it is strong enough to at least try and conquer your ocd?

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Guest Sandy12345

Do you find that the medication helps and the CBT? Do you feel that it is strong enough to at least try and conquer your ocd?

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Guest Sandy12345

I guess speaking to a GP isnt so bad. I have always tried to control my ocd myself however it doesnt seem to be working. I feel as though i always need someone to constantly reassure me and if no ones there, then i continue with my ocd rituals. I know that i cant have reassurance 24/7 so thats why i feel as though speaking to someone might not help as i cant have that help constantly. I suppose its like fighting a losing battle. I hope that one day i can overcome it but i know there are people who have it for the rest of their life.

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Guest Sisyphus

Do you find that the medication helps and the CBT? Do you feel that it is strong enough to at least try and conquer your ocd?

Well it's early days for me Sandy,

I'd already been suffering with this thing for over 25 years before I realised what it was as I was originally misdiagnosed with clinical depression. So when it's ahd that long to "burn in", I gather it can be troublesome. But I hope for the best. I have decided not to take medication so far but may change this if no success with this CBT. Everyone's different. I would guess most take the meds, but some don't for various reasons.

The idea is that SSRIs(and maybe anti-psychotics) reduce the anxiety enough that you can start to apply CBT techniques and reduce performing your compulsions - the books will explain why it works that way - and then anxiety should gradually lessen and the obsessions/compulsions should lessen in frequency and severity.

There's a huge range of experineces though - some poeple take to it very well, others stumble. Some nail it, then have a relapse.

But I promise you that whatever OCD forum you go on, whatever book you read, they will all currently point you towards CBT/medication as the recognised treatment. So it's a good starting place.

But you are absolutely right to be wary about talking about it to people. We all go through that. Imagine me after all that time keeping it all to myself. And if there's anything sexual or fear of being a paedophile or anything, well it's kind of embarrassing isnt it. But obviously nothing they haven't heard before so our worries are a bit misplaced in the end.

I believe CBT has the potential to help a good number of us overcome OCD, but as somebody pointed out yesterday, it takes a certain amount of buy in from the person doing it. A commitment.

However it is also important to stress that there is no cure as such. CBT doesn't offer a cure. Sure, some people will say they are over their OCD after CBT, and that's great, but a more common result seems to be that people greatly reduce their obsessions and compulsions, with the odd relapse. But obviously that is a huge improvement, and CBT will apparentl give us tools to deal with these setbacks too.

I hope that helps. But ask away if not.

David.

Edited by Sisyphus
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Guest Sisyphus

I guess speaking to a GP isnt so bad. I have always tried to control my ocd myself however it doesnt seem to be working. I feel as though i always need someone to constantly reassure me and if no ones there, then i continue with my ocd rituals. I know that i cant have reassurance 24/7 so thats why i feel as though speaking to someone might not help as i cant have that help constantly. I suppose its like fighting a losing battle. I hope that one day i can overcome it but i know there are people who have it for the rest of their life.

Well you'll find many threads on here of people seeking reassurance. It's what OCD makes us do. But as you know, the relief the reassurance gives is remarkably temporary, and the same old doubts and panics are back before you know it. So we need to look at a more longterm strategy. We need to empower ourselves to master the disorder. It takes a slight shift in moindset. I think we end up very depressed and prone to negative thinking after being mauled by this thing. But hopefully, if CBT goes well, a spin off efffect can be more positive thiniing. Because these things overlap. The same phenoemnon of "neural plasticity" which allowed your brain to become so bogged down in OCD behaviour, can work the other way too. We can use understanding and choice to stop dancing to its tune and gradually atrophy those bad OCD pathways, instead building more positive neural pathways in the brain. OK so that's a little deep but just trying to show you there's science to back CBT up! It's not just psychobabble. It works for a reason. So it's a learning curve. And we're damned lucky. If we had this thing 100 years ago, there wouldn't be any books or therapy or forums - we'd be called insane!

And even if I have to have OCD for the rest of my life, I want to be able to look people in the eye and say that I tried everything I could to beat it first.

Cheers,

David.

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