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Guest Harrythebat

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Guest Harrythebat

Hi everyone. I don't know whether I have the right to post on this forum but what is happening to me at the moment, and has been happening to me for the last 33 years is now starting to really cause me a great deal of anxiety. Like many boys aged about 15 at the time, I couldn't wait to start shaving. My dad always told me that I would be sorry because once I began, there would be no turning back. He was so right. At the age of 16 I began a career that insisted on males shaving everyday. In those early days, I can remember the anguish at trying to ensure that my sideburns were accurately symmetrical and that every whisker was completely removed. I could finish my shave, spot a flaw and have to recommence the entire process. Sometimes this would happen two or three times until I had to be somewhere else. If I was unable to achieve the perfect shave and symmetrical sideburns, my entire day was affected and I couldn't stop thinking about the imperfection that I was convinced other people would notice. This went on until I was 22. One day, after having shaved numerous times and in the process, making my face so sore and with dozens of cuts, I threw my razor in the bin and started growing a beard. For the past 28 years I have kept a beard for almost the entire time, except for a couple of moments of madness where I shaved and then regretted it immediately afterwards. For about the past 10 years, I have noticed that the time taken for me to trim my beard is increasing and now causing me as much distress as when I used a razor. To trim my beard can take me two hours. The problem with symmetry has reappeared and any imperfection can see me commencing the trim from scratch. i am a perfectionist and the sight of one stray hair that appears even minutely longer than the rest sees the process begin again. I also have slight OCD a that doesn't really impact on my life but this beard trimming debacle certainly does and it appears to be getting worse.

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Hi Harry,

You're very welcome to post on the forum, unfortunately I can't give you a formal diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure from what you've said that you are coping with BDD.

By the sounds of it, it's also having quite an impact on your quality of life, but one huge positive is you're aware the rituals are escalating around your beard and it needs to be tackled.

This may be something you can address with a combination of advice here and self-help books geared towards treating BDD, one very good book I can recommend is 'Overcoming Body Image Problems Including Body Dysmorphic Disorder' by Dr David Veale, but I would recommend having a chat with your GP and the possibility of accessing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).........that's the best form of treatment for both OCD and BDD and would help you to gradually change the way you're reacting to the thoughts (the need for perfection) by resisting the urge for obtaining that perfection.

The anxiety by not going along with the unrealistic and unnecessary demands may increase to start-off with, but the more you can refuse to play along with those demands the less anxious you'll feel.

It will take time to make progress, but with the right help and support this is something you can overcome.

Hal :original:

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Guest Harrythebat

Hi Hal

Thank you for responding so quickly and with such positive advice. I will certainly try to order the book you mention and will approach my GP.

I have been to the doctor and psychologists in the past for OCD but never mentioned the shaving issue as I felt so daft and, didn't realise that BDD existed.

The 'demands' that you mention are so powerful. I have attempted to shave /trim just once and only once, telling myself that it will look the same as if I go over it half a dozen times but I always fail miserably.

Thank you once again for your help and I will let you know how I go.

Cheers, Harry

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Harry.Sometimes it's better to limit the number of times a ritual is performed because trying to achieve too much all at once results in failure which is very discouraging and depressing.A little at a time will often achieve a lot more in the end

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest sunshinegirl65

Hi I am new member because I am not sure I am OCD but I find certain articles of clothing so restrictive that I feel constantly great discomfort. I know they fit as have been measured. It seems to be taking over my life,. Is there any help I can get or has anyone here experienced this?

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  • 4 weeks later...

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