does anxiety/depression stop you from caring?

[8thstar]

my gf dumped me because of all the hurt and pain i put her through with my relationship ocd, insecurities...etc. and all i seemed to care about was getting her back rather than how she is feeling, it's making my relationship ocd worse about the fact why don't i care about how she feels before caring so much about if we're together? why can't i feel nothing about the fact she's hurting? why can't i just wait for her to feel better rather than be desperate for us to talk about our relationship and be together right now? she's even said to me "yeah but the first thing you care about is if we're together, my feelings don’t even come first for you. that tells me a lot."

i'm just so messed up why can't i feel for her before anything else? why can't i feel care for her at all? i hurt her everyday why can't i feel bad or hurt? :[

why don't i care?

i'm so anxious now my mind is saying "it's clearly not love" because i just can't feel or put any care into action, it's always me me me. and i'm just so scared of losing her to even think of her feelings, what does that mean? all i feel everyday is pain and anger, i can't feel love or care or put any of it into action. i'm so so so scared, what does this mean?

Edited March 17, 2014 by 8thstar

[Guest OCDelighted]

When your anxious and depressed your observation of how you feel is far from accurate. It clouds your judgement and makes it difficult to keep in touch we reality and your true feelings.

Rule of thumb - when your anxiety is heightened take very little notice of how you interpret the situation as it's going to be so far from the truth it's unreal.

Ride the wave of uncertainty until the anxiety subsides and only then will you be able to assess your feelings rationally.

Edited March 17, 2014 by OCDelighted

[8thstar]

i agree with this and it has helped me before

but if i did truly care wouldn't i automatically put her first and wouldn't be able to stand the thought of hurting her? i hurt her everyday and i can't feel anything over it and i never put her first.

[Guest OCDelighted]

So start putting her first if you know it's the right thing to do regardless of how you're feeling.

Do what you know to be right rather than listening to your're feelings which you're unsure of at the moment.

Edited March 17, 2014 by OCDelighted

[carlleo123]

Hi, I feel exactly the same about my son, hes only one and do to the type of OCD I have (pure O) I feel alot of the time I can't love him.

Two things, firstly I think anxiety can make us quite selfish as we only think about how we are feeling.

Secondly, I was once told when your body is in fight or flight mode theres no time for the finer emotions like love, theres no time for it when your running away from a tiger !

I'd feel pretty certain from what you said that you love your girlfriend, its just anxiety blocking it out.

Take care