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I suffer from POCD and need serious help.


Guest OCDsufferer9

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Guest OCDsufferer9

I feel so sad, so depressed, even suicidal. I have so many thoughts, doubts...I don't know what is real anymore. There is so much happening to me and everything feels so real. I've been diagnosed with OCD but I'm afraid I'm believing I'm a pedophile. It feels like I'm a pedophile. I have something inside of me which is making me think I am actually attracted to little kids. I'm afraid it's real. I lost hope. Is feeling like you are actually attracted to little kids normal? Help...

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I was told I have HOCD by an ocd therapist but I dont believe him anymore. I feel as if things are getting worse and worse and that my homosexuality symptoms/signs are now presenting themselves and making it obvious Im gay. I get groinals, strong tingly groinals to guys yet strangely no erection or even a semi when I feel 'turned on' by my spikes. At times I am 99% convinced Im gay and other times I feel hopeful its ocd. Either ocd in my case (and yours) is incredibly strong and convincing or we are what we fear. I wish I knew tbh :(

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Guest legend

Help .... !! what can one suggest ... ocdsufferer , eric dave

You guys tell me what i should do , tell you what im gay im getting groinals around straights and kids as well , it feels real, its

debiltating , to the point of im convinced

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Guest OCDsufferer9

I was told I have HOCD by an ocd therapist but I dont believe him anymore. I feel as if things are getting worse and worse and that my homosexuality symptoms/signs are now presenting themselves and making it obvious Im gay. I get groinals, strong tingly groinals to guys yet strangely no erection or even a semi when I feel 'turned on' by my spikes. At times I am 99% convinced Im gay and other times I feel hopeful its ocd. Either ocd in my case (and yours) is incredibly strong and convincing or we are what we fear. I wish I knew tbh :(

Same here. Sometimes I just feel like I do have OCD but other times I actually feel like I'm attracted to kids and feel like I'm a total pedophile! I'm so depressed. Sometimes I even question why I'm even having all these feelings which is absurd. I don't know what to do. Everything feels so real. I'm giving up. I can't be a pedophile.

Help .... !! what can one suggest ... ocdsufferer , eric dave

You guys tell me what i should do , tell you what im gay im getting groinals around straights and kids as well , it feels real, its

debiltating , to the point of im convinced

At the moment, I'm not dealing with groinals, though. It feels as if I'm attracted to kids and it feels so real so yes, I'm convinced!

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Guest legend

didnt ask about you, i asked that i am gay , i see straight people that give me groinals , and kids are as well now, its so

strong im petrified to the hilt , it so convinving , what should i do ?

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Guest OCDsufferer9

didnt ask about you, i asked that i am gay , i see straight people that give me groinals , and kids are as well now, its so

strong im petrified to the hilt , it so convinving , what should i do ?

I would suggest seeking professional help and to stop reassuring yourself as it is not helpful to your OCD. I would say that you have to resist and sit with the thoughts.

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Guest legend

ok , but if i post again tomorrow, the same questions , driven by ocd, is that ok because im still not sure its ocd, what if

im straight and i fancy kids, i mean im sure ill wake up and its going to be there again , and the same the next day

is that ok to do that ?

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Guest OCDsufferer9

ok , but if i post again tomorrow, the same questions , driven by ocd, is that ok because im still not sure its ocd, what if

im straight and i fancy kids, i mean im sure ill wake up and its going to be there again , and the same the next day

is that ok to do that ?

To ask again? It's not good for your OCD but I would understand your urge as it's very hard. However, again, I'm afraid not about the groinal response but rather the feeling of attraction I'm feeling which makes me worried. However, maybe you're trying to tell me something and I should read between the lines.

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Its the intrusive feelings and groinal sensations and emotions that scare me. If it was just thoughts this would be so easy to deal with. OCD advice is all about ''its just thoughts'' but what if its not just harmless thoughts but strong sensations that feel as if you are being raped by your own body?

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Guest legend

Yep but im gay and my best friend who is straight wants to sit on my lap , and im petrified, because when he does i get groinals

when he does it , and to make matters worse, his 4 year old daughter does the same thing . I get big thoughts of what if

i am straight , what if get arousals, i then get arousals , when they arent therre ,. surely i must be , .... then i ruminate over

it, i go online to search for certainty, and im in a place where i dont want to be, im petrified

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Guest OCDsufferer9

Its the intrusive feelings and groinal sensations and emotions that scare me. If it was just thoughts this would be so easy to deal with. OCD advice is all about ''its just thoughts'' but what if its not just harmless thoughts but strong sensations that feel as if you are being raped by your own body?

OMG! It's as if you're describing my situation, Eric. Everyone describes OCD as manifesting itself into thoughts and sometimes images but what if it's body sensations? Like you said, perhaps groinal response? Or even impulses? Or maybe you feel like you are attracted? These are feelings so to me, they must be real! :(

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Guest legend

OMG! It's as if you're describing my situation, Eric. Everyone describes OCD as manifesting itself into thoughts and sometimes images but what if it's body sensations? Like you said, perhaps groinal response? Or even impulses? Or maybe you feel like you are attracted? These are feelings so to me, they must be real! :(

oh i remember , we discussed groinals , oh but what if its different this time ..... what shall we do .. shall we , get an urge to post

get an urge to ruminate , get to self reassure ... yes , YOU will , and thats how it works, but what if its not ocd ,

what about my groinals then , mates straight , im gay , his daughter gives me groinals as well ?

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Guest OCDsufferer9

oh i remember , we discussed groinals , oh but what if its different this time ..... what shall we do .. shall we , get an urge to post

get an urge to ruminate , get to self reassure ... yes , YOU will , and thats how it works, but what if its not ocd ,

what about my groinals then , mates straight , im gay , his daughter gives me groinals as well ?

What about getting feelings like you are actually attracted, legend? (POCD)

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Guest legend

i was asking that question , already , im in a place of that point . i get feelings like that as well , groinals , especially

the straight guy , jesus christ, its so real , like i want to be straight again , but how can i be sure....

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Guest OCDsufferer9

i was asking that question , already , im in a place of that point . i get feelings like that as well , groinals , especially

the straight guy , jesus christ, its so real , like i want to be straight again , but how can i be sure....

Hmm, I see but this is more like a general feeling, with no sensations but rather just a feeling of attraction, kind of. I'm not sure if you follow.

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Guest OCDsufferer9

I dunno exactly what you are gettign at Legend. Maybe this sound scrazy to you but what if we have a sexual orientation that we just are terrified of because of society? i.e kids and guys??

:(

I have to agree with you on this one, Eric. Sometimes I just think I am trying to hide my pedophilia because of society :(

im not answering questions, im wanting answers myself .

I am also not getting what you're trying to say, legend. I'm confused now.

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Guest legend

I feel so sad, so depressed, even suicidal. I have so many thoughts, doubts...I don't know what is real anymore. There is so much happening to me and everything feels so real. I've been diagnosed with OCD but I'm afraid I'm believing I'm a pedophile. It feels like I'm a pedophile. I have something inside of me which is making me think I am actually attracted to little kids. I'm afraid it's real. I lost hope. Is feeling like you are actually attracted to little kids normal? Help...

ok back to this post .

what would a therapist suggest and self help ?

is this response good from eric ....

I was told I have HOCD by an ocd therapist but I dont believe him anymore. I feel as if things are getting worse and worse and that my homosexuality symptoms/signs are now presenting themselves and making it obvious Im gay. I get groinals, strong tingly groinals to guys yet strangely no erection or even a semi when I feel 'turned on' by my spikes. At times I am 99% convinced Im gay and other times I feel hopeful its ocd. Either ocd in my case (and yours) is incredibly strong and convincing or we are what we fear. I wish I knew tbh

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Guest OCDsufferer9

ok back to this post .

what would a therapist suggest and self help ?

is this response good from eric ....

I was told I have HOCD by an ocd therapist but I dont believe him anymore. I feel as if things are getting worse and worse and that my homosexuality symptoms/signs are now presenting themselves and making it obvious Im gay. I get groinals, strong tingly groinals to guys yet strangely no erection or even a semi when I feel 'turned on' by my spikes. At times I am 99% convinced Im gay and other times I feel hopeful its ocd. Either ocd in my case (and yours) is incredibly strong and convincing or we are what we fear. I wish I knew tbh

Eric's reply was obviously was to seek reassurance but of course, unintentionally he was reassuring me as well so at the end of the day, the relief was only temporary so it may have fueled my OCD in the long run. My therapist suggested me to focus on my senses, the here and now and taught me some breathing exercises as well. However, we're still in our first sessions! As I said, I'm afraid that these feelings of attraction are true and not OCD-related :(

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I have no idea how to advise someone with the same peoblem Legend because I am so lost and confused myself so how can I help someone? It would be the blind leading the blind.

There are things in my past that make it a possibility this is ocd because I have been almost convinced I had Multiple Sclerosis and Cancer before when it turned out not to be true but this fear wont go away and is even more convincing because it is more logical than my past fears.

Some of the sensations I experience in my groin feel so strong (yet no erection for some reason) that I have a really hard time believing a therapist who cant feel what I am feeling.

also there is a gay website called Empty Closets and they say HOCD is ******** and loads of people are staying in denial because of it.

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Guest OCDsufferer9

I have no idea how to advise someone with the same peoblem Legend because I am so lost and confused myself so how can I help someone? It would be the blind leading the blind.

There are things in my past that make it a possibility this is ocd because I have been almost convinced I had Multiple Sclerosis and Cancer before when it turned out not to be true but this fear wont go away and is even more convincing because it is more logical than my past fears.

Some of the sensations I experience in my groin feel so strong (yet no erection for some reason) that I have a really hard time believing a therapist who cant feel what I am feeling.

also there is a gay website called Empty Closets and they say HOCD is ******** and loads of people are staying in denial because of it.

I agree with you, Eric. Even though our theme is different, I am also afraid I may be in denial. Sometimes I even feel like my mind is telling me that I do want to be a pedophile which scares me to death. All of these don't feel like OCD thoughts but feelings which, in my opinion, are worse because basically, they make up who you are as a person. Moreover, I'm afraid that feeling like you are attracted to your worst nightmare makes it even more difficult to deal with!

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Guest OCDsufferer9

So...I'm feeling much better now, less sad and less depressed. My therapist told me to resist my thoughts and dismiss them. I need to learn how to make distinctions between what is real and what is OCD. The thing is, it's very hard because everything feels so real like it's a part of who you are. I start having doubts thoughts, images, unwanted feelings like impulses and so much more. I feel the need to check but when I resist, I feel like I just need to check to prevent any harm. The thing is, I have got a lot of uncertainty and basically I'm too afraid to let go and just label everything as OCD. I guess what I'm trying to say is that once I experience the thoughts, images, unwanted urges or any other feelings, I just feel that responsibility to check. It's so hard when you're asked to ignore everything when all of this is happening, you know? I have been diagnosed with OCD and have been totally open about everything but still, it's hard to start believing something when your mind/body is constantly telling you that you are a pedophile!

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Legend is trying to show you no matter how much you reassure yourself, it will never help because OCD is by itself completely irrational.

Agree with the thoughts, be OK with them being there and try and distract yourself. No matter what anyone says it will not help you.

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