Is there a limit to OCD imagination?

[imhotep79]

Hi there, I suffer from obsessive fear of schizophrenia, kept partially at bay by the fact that I'm past the age of onset and I've not the typical traits-characteristics of schizophrenic people (no family illness, no drugs, no premorbid traits etc.).

However, 2 days ago I've read in a blog about an Ocd sufferer with a very particular fear:

"What if everyone I know is a demon trying to trick me into hell"?

I'm not even a religious person but this thought in particular really scared me and I began to obsess about it.

The fact is, I fear this thought because it resembles bizarre schizophrenia delusions (so, my omnipresent fear of schizophrenia) AND because it's a scary thought in general.

For this reason, my Ocd tends to throw in crazy stuff to validate the crazy thought so, for example, if someone on the road looks at me, I immediately have the intrusive thought "What if it's a demon?".

I KNOW that it's irrational and I don't believe it but the mere fact of thinking it and also thinking how scary would be a similar scenario makes my anxiety explode!

Is there really a limit to Ocd imagination? Can OCD throw thoughts like these to validate your incredibily absurd fears? Thank you.

[Saffie]

You know the answer to this. You are reassuring yourself which is making you worse. Face the fear, stop running from it.

[Guest ocd-but-never-knew]

OCD can, I think, do pretty much anything. Anything, no matter how irrational can seem like reality.

Do you try distraction? What do you enjoy in life?

[imhotep79]

Saffie: I know, I'm able to face the fear usually but every little variation on the theme makes me incredibly anxious...it's like Ocd is trying to find a weak point "Ok, you're fine with this thought, but what about THIS?"

Ocd-but-never-knew: Thank you for your reply. Yes, it feels real even if it obviously isn't. The more anxious I am the more intense and believable the particular fear is. In fact, when I do distract myself, I'm able to shrug off the thoughts. The problem is, I'm not always able to distract myself.

[PolarBear]

I thought i knew what OCD was before i started participating on this forum. Boy were my eyes opened after a few months.

There seems to be almost no limit to the obsessions that people can get.

[Guest PaulM]

OCD can sneak up disguised as anything. As PolarBear says, there seems to be almost no limit.

But knowing that it can be anything, we can be a step ahead.

[Imhotep]

I concur with the theme, I have had the most repulsive, depraved thoughts come across my mind. Like WTF? I have no desire for criminality, let alone extreme acts. I suppose it picks on what you fear most. I agree with the escalation aspect, "what about this further disgusting thought?" Drives me up the wall. Still its all OCD, and remaining calm and not reacting is what's required.

[Phili]

I once thought I was turning into a mushroom because I like mushrooms and ate so many that my mum said "you're going to look like a mushroom" and once thought I was going to turn into a human fly. I even worried that I might eat myself if I were a mushroom, so no I don't think it does, I was thirteen at the time.

[Guest ocd-but-never-knew]

Hi - how are you today?

[taurean]

I think imhotep that you are, like me, hyper-sensitive to looking for things that could distress.

Whilst out and out avoidance simply lets OCD win and restricts our lifestyle,and therefore is not good to pursue, there are certain things that I find in me can interract sometimes personalise and cause mayhem , but that I can happily leave be.

Bearing in mind the main theme of my OCD is harm and violence (and I don't buy into either or enjoy either - surprise surprise, its totally against my core values) I find reading and watching beneficial uplifting material both enjoyable and calming, and it doesn't feed the OCD .

So for a long long time now its been goodbye to sci-fi,thrillers, supernatural, for example. Family stuff like Shrek is in, and enjoyable nature programmes, cooking, doing up homes, sit nicely alongside romcoms and sport and hobby magazines.News, other than business or sport, is a major problem - in fact I find the OCD causes me more trouble with the small nasty stories hidden inside the main part of the paper that just catch my eye if i'm skimming through - and once caughtt, it is difficult to get the OCD to disengage from them.

I do get spooked by nasty trailers and posters, which can trigger an OCD loop, so when I go off into the community travelling, like I am doing today, I need to shut down that oversensitive "antenna" on top of my head and blank out things like adverts on the side of buses for violent films, posters and 24-hour news screens.

ERP is not the answer for me to these violent themes, because of the formation of a compulsive thought loop that constantly churns away in my brain, until the brainlock shuts down.

[Guest takeacti0n]

Im gradually slipping into psychosis...I'm scared.

[Jack123]

Can anyone see my posts?

[ocdlost]

Haha, I had that fear since 14 for a few years. Then it morphed into something else. It`s just the ocd. The thing that you fear most will be your main obsessional factor, after you get rid of that fear, something else comes. Read my story and please post if you want, any advice.

You are not alone.

http://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?showtopic=64854

[Guest takeacti0n]

Hey, I'm in the same boat, but I think the fear of psychosis + stress is making me slip into psychosis....

I start to see "things" out of the corner of my eye and have had what I think are brief hallucinations.

[Guest mimi]

I am going through something similar and I've had fears of having Schizophrenia as well. I've had this fear for a long time that the world wasn't real and that I was imagining it all. Then at periods of high stress, this fear often comes back. Eventually it made me start questioning whether everything is real, whether each person I'm talking to is real. Then, that morphed into me worrying that my boyfriend is somehow evil...

Logically, I know this is all complete nonsense and I don't believe it, but the thoughts trigger a lot of anxiety so I keep having them. Especially the ones about my boyfriend, they bother me every time I am with him.

But, don't you see what it is? It's because you're scared of Schizophrenia that you start having thoughts that are similar to what people with that illness have. What we have to realise is that the mindset of people with Schizophrenia is completely different - they actually believe these thoughts and they are distressed because they think they are in danger. We, on the other hand, know that these thoughts aren't real...but having the thought scares us, we are afraid of the thought rather than actual demons.

[Guest mimi]

Hey, I'm in the same boat, but I think the fear of psychosis + stress is making me slip into psychosis....

I start to see "things" out of the corner of my eye and have had what I think are brief hallucinations.

I've done similar things in the past....I've also seen/heard certain things and was convinced I was hallucinating so I had to make sure they were real and indeed they were.

Just remember, people who go through psychosis probably don't just see things from the corner of their eye - their hallucinations are far more elaborate and realistic. You're just afraid of seeing things, which is why you think you are. I hope you get better