scared

[Guest penny0305]

Hi

I haven't posted for a while. Been trying to work on erp and stay off the forums! I'm just struggling at the minute. My ocd has been very severe since Christmas and I've had two long term sick absence from work over the last year. I'm due to go into work tomorrow for a sickness review and I'm terrified. My ocd only resurfaced four years ago after many b years in remission when I was redeployed at work to a new department. I have struggled badly ever since. My boss is extremely unsympathetic and I have had problems with her changing my working hours radically; discussing my illness with other staff members etc. When I first mentioned that I had ocd she sent out an email to everyone in the department asking if anyone was keeping a secret stash of all the ocd books as they had all disappeared- I work in a college library- I checked immediately and all the books were there and in the correct place. Over the last year I have drunk to excess on a few occasions. My gp mentioned alcohol misuse on my last sick note and within days an email was sent from some random American alcohol rehab centre to my work email address. I didn't request any information so can only assume somebody at work had it sent as a joke. I have spoken to the trade union rep and he is going to the meeting with me tomorrow. I am just terrified. My boss is so hard faced I know she will deny any bullying and will wipe the floor with me. I don't want to go back to the job as it's making me ill and my care coordinator says I should seek legal advice and claim constructive dismissal. I don't think i have the guts to face her down tomorrow and think i will end up just looking a fool and resigning. Any Advice Would be much appreciated

[Jedi Master Scarface]

Okay, I've got some thoughts on this. Confront her nicely and calmly about how her actions make you feel and the way she behaves is distressing towards you, as someone with OCD you have disability rights and you are absolutely entitled for aid at your work. For the two scenarios I have different answers. The first one where you mention the OCD book unfortunately is an allegation that can't be easily proven to be her doing something wrong. It can only maybe make her look a bit off in some way. The second however, I wish to talk about more. Is the only people you know about your alcohol misuse be your GP(whom you requested no info from) and your boss due to the sick note?

[legalseagull]

Her behaviour is totally unacceptable. I bet you're not the only person she's bullied. I can only say to get all the help you can and stand up to the nasty cow. I know it's hard and will take a lot of guts but it would be such a shame if she got away with it. Can you delay proceedings tomorrow so you can get proper advice? Have you got a representative to go in with you?

[Guest penny0305]

Hi. Thanks for your replies. Yes apart from my family who Would never dream of doing such a thing the only people who know about my alcohol misuse are my gp and my boss due to the sick note. She has a reputation for gossiping about people so the email could've originated from her or a colleague if she's been gossiping. It's not even addressed to my name but to my staff code which only myself and people at work know. She does bully other people. The last staff development day she called a staff meeting to discuss why there was such a bad working atmosphere and almost all the points raised related to her bad management and lack of confidentiality. The problem is she favours one group of staff and picks on the rest. I've suggested in the past that we go as a group to personnel and complain but everyone just shies away from that so i feel really alone. I'm not exactly a confident person so am scared I'm just going to crumble tomorrow. The union rep is going with me so i hope he'll do most of the talking. I've worked there for years and up until moving to this job had a brilliant work record. The jobs become untenable though but i don't want to just resign. My gp and my family and care coordinator all agree that the job has contributed massively to my poor mental health. I suppose it'sjust hard to pprove

[Caramoole]

Good Luck for tomorrow Penny......I'm sure the Union Rep will take the lead for you. I wish I could be there because I'd sort the monkey out :angry:

Don't be afraid of her. She is abusing her position by the sound of it. Stand firm.....and whatever, don't resign.

We'll be with you in spirit. I hope it goes well.

Been wondering how you were doing

[Jedi Master Scarface]

Ok , talk to your union rep and figure this all out as he will be more knowledgeable of the matter. But I must say, that whole staff code number could absolutely do it for your boss. Before, I was struggling justifying a breach of confidentiality from her due to your family also knowing but this has just gotten to a stronger case. This case is incredibly important and you must task your representative to pursue it as much as he can. This is due to the reasons that I will explain. Firstly, only you, your close family and your GP know of the alcohol misuse. You haven't requested anything from the GP so they are ruled out. The email is also addressed to your staff code, not your name indicating that the email originated from the workplace and not your family. This heavily indicates a serious matter which you must not allow her to avoid, this is something anyone should do upon finding out. You should communicate with your rep to have this investigated. This is a serious breach of confidentiality, something you are entitled to and as she is the 'only' one at work who knows about such misuse, she would be number one suspect for the charge. Hopefully, the way your work is managed, types of these matters will be held to a high standard and any result will resolve the matter. I can't say it enough, this event is something that no one deserves to experience and if your boss is going to be stupid enough to act in such a way, then she should face her actions. I hope you get some good results in the end of this. Don't be scared, you've done nothing wrong to be in this position nor deserve being bullied. Hope you do well, talk a lot with your rep about this, I bet he'll find the rehab email interesting to say the least.

[Jedi Master Scarface]

Your union rep will know best on how to deal with your problems, follow his lead. I know it may feel scary but you must not let yourself worry your head off about this. Plenty of people have had to deal with 'problematic' workplaces. Your boss has most likely done an incredibly foolish thing and she is close to getting caught out for that. You didn't force her into these actions, she did them herself and she must be held accountable for them. Stay strong, think clearly, talk with calmness and truthfulness. You are a brave person for having to go through this, it's not easy at all.

[legalseagull]

How did it go Penny?

[lovid]

Yes Penny.How did it go and how are you?xxx

[Guest penny0305]

Hi

sorry it's taken so long to reply. Been feeling really depressed. Had the meeting with my boss and personnel. Spoke to the union rep before and he agreed both emails were very suspicious and most likely originated from my boss. He challenged her about it and she just kept saying "oh I really don't understand it. I just sent your sick note straight to personnel. Nobody could've intercepted it".I never thought that anybody did! I just assumed that she had spread it around the office as per usual. She told outright lies eg when I asked her why I and another member of staff were never invited to team meetings she said she had a separate meeting with us both afterwards which has never happened. I had an occupational health assessment today and the assessor said she is going to say that she can't see me returning to work in the foreseeable future. I said that my problems had only begun when I was transferred to this post and that I thought a reasonable adjustment would be to be considered for another post as it is a massive organisation but it just went over her head. So it now looks like they are going to dismiss me on ill health grounds. I just feel so angry. I've worked there for over fifteen years and have always been praised for being a good worker. Now it looks like I'm on the scrapheap. It's sending my ocd mad. Feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. I don't want to go back to that post after all this but it's going to be very hard to get another job if I'm dismissed. Just feels like my word against theirs. I don't know whether to see a solicitor or not or if I should just accept it. I had been free from ocd for years until I started this job which my medical records show.

[Jedi Master Scarface]

Then I advise this for you, start contacting the people necessary for what you feel should you want those particular issues chased up. I fully support a decision to get a proper independent investigation about your bosses actions by someone that isn't bias in the situation (government/ hire independent investigator). You are entitled under the equality act 2010 and your boss has crossed that by behaving in a manner negative towards you and as such has created a difficult and upsetting atmosphere at work. I don't think anyone should get away with what they have tried to do and obviously they can't come up with any good reason why such emails ever got sent to you. They know they can't cover their rears because one of those emails is practically watertight that someone there blabbed. Here is the government site for help on your next steps, and also there are links on the site which go towards separate sites that would also help.

https://www.gov.uk/discrimination-your-rights/types-of-discrimination

[Jedi Master Scarface]

But in the end it is just your decision, you must decide what you want from these events and if you don't want to pursue it further or you do then you must also accept the results. Maybe talk more with others who do know your situation more. Like your representative, they are much more knowledgeable and could have useful information on this. Do what is best for you.

[Guest penny0305]

Thanks for that. The website has an online contact form. I've just completed it asking what rights i have. Very useful! Thanks again.

[lovid]

I can't see them dismissing you without transferring you first and seeing how that goes.If they don't give you a fair trial somewhere else I would think they are leaving them selves wide open for unfair dismissal especially in light of the evidence with the email.xxx