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Hi there I'm new here but been reading the forums for quite some time iv had ocd for the last 18 years mostly based on intrusive thoughts . Iv had some really bad times but with the help of some of the guys on here has got me through. Recently I was doing ok until I had a thought about when I was on holiday 8 years ago in the party resort of Corfu , kavos I was 27 at the time when a girl who was working as PR on clubs took a liking to me and invited me back to her apartment which happened to be in my hotel every thing seemed fine and we slept with each other and that was that , we seen each other around but didn't really speak but I didn't think anything of it and havnt done since but the other day I was thinking about the holiday as I'm about to book one and it reminded me of that resort but I remember one of the lads who was with is sayin the girl was 17 or 18 I thought it was a wind up and took no notice as I assumed she was around 20 years old but now I am riddled with anxiety disgust in case it was true I keep thinking what if she was as I'm totally against this kind of thing I have children of my own this is against all my morals and values I just feel so depressed and the need to now I must stress this girl came onto me and I totally wouldn't look for girls that age I hardly New the lad who said it and don't even know why he said it or how he'd know, I feel my ocd has got hold of this because I was doing ok I'm so scared posting this as I'm an honest decent young man and feel helpless thanks for reading and keep strong everyone.

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Also when I say she came on to me I assumed she was well over 18 years I'm not in anyway saying I would go with her just cause she instigated it my anxiety is in overdrive rite now and I don't know what to do please help somebody any advice would be appreciated. The lad who said it didn't say it to my face to be honest I can't even remember that much about it but it's driving me mad it is something I would never ever do the thought alone repulsus me I just can't deal with this

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Dont worry about it, and dont give it any attention.

i know it sounds easy but i also have had something like this which is causing my ocd to go sky high.

When i was 18 i met a girl, she told me she was 16 or 17. i did not think much of it. we went out with a friend of mine and she also took a friend of her. so we were with the 4 of us.

After a night clubbin, she asked us to come to her place, we went there, and my friend and the other girl went sleeping in the same bed, and the girl i met asked me to sleep with her. so i did.

Eventually i ended up touching her a bit, but no full sex. just some 'other' stuff. i do remember me being the one doing this while she was awake btw, but i also was very drunk and it already has been 9 years ago so i cannot remember much but at some point i just stopped and we went to sleep.

the next day we had a chat, and i found out she had lied to me. she actually was only 15 yrs old. i felt bad. and after i never met up with her again.

2 weeks ago this memory suddenly popped up, and till this day my ocd is killing me about the subject. its making me question everything about that night, and alsmost makes me feel as if i am a monster. which i know deep down i really am not.

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This is typical OCD. Your disorder has latched onto an incident from your past, you have become fixated on it and now you're panicking because it is top of mind. The way forward for you is to drop the subject. Let it go. Stop trying to figure out how old she was. It doesn't matter. Carry on with your life. Leave the questions alone and don't answer them. Let the whole matter wither away and die.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You have to stop ruminating and thinking about the incident. Don't get involved with the thoughts as they are worthless. As polar bear rightly said, this is OCD, so you have to ignore the thoughts and stop trying to find an answer. Concentrate on other things and let the OCD thoughts be.

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The reason this is still bothering you is because you won't let it go. You keep going over it in your mind, again and again, and you don't get anywhere with it. You just keep it top of mind. It's always present and you're always using your brain power trying to figure it out, trying to figure out what it means about you, and on and on.

What I said before still holds true. You must begin to ignore this incident and what it means. You have to put your foot down and refuse to get into mind debates about the incident, how old she was, what it says about you, and on and on. You must leave all that alone and shift your focus onto the here and now and what you are doing at the present time. The less you think about the situation the less it will bother you and the less it bothers you the easier it will be for you to ignore it.

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The problem is that I don't want to be a bad person and I starting to think how can I enjoy life with this hanging over me , if you read my first post you will see that I thought she was of similar age even though nothing illegal has gone on it still goes against all my values , I know she could of been similar age as well but the ocd is too powerful and convincing me otherwise and I was younger too and on a lads holiday so nothing really crossed my mind and when I seen her the next couple of days I didn't think anything of it so why now? She just looked of similar age then plus she was alone and working in the resort . I just think how can I be a good person if iv been with a girl a lot younger without me knowing please know I would never go out or look at girls around this age it was just a holiday one night stand now I'm riddled with anxiety guilt and depression and it was almost 10 year ago arghhh. Anyone

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You're getting far too involved with the subject matter which isn't relevant. The problem you have is OCD. By constantly ruminating and going over and over what happened, you're carrying out compulsions and therefore fueling the OCD. You're looking for reassurance which won't help and looking for a final answer to your fears, which doesn't exist.

When you get these horrible thoughts, recognise them for what they are, they are a symptom of an illness you have called OCD. Don't get into a conversation with the thoughts, don't argue with the thoughts, just ignore them and refocus on something positive in your life.

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Pretend you haven't got OCD and look at the thought with detachment don't add fuel to it and see how you feel.

A wise friend once told me

" it's ok to LOOK at the past, just don't STARE"

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The problem is that I don't want to be a bad person and I starting to think how can I enjoy life with this hanging over me , if you read my first post you will see that I thought she was of similar age even though nothing illegal has gone on it still goes against all my values , I know she could of been similar age as well but the ocd is too powerful and convincing me otherwise and I was younger too and on a lads holiday so nothing really crossed my mind and when I seen her the next couple of days I didn't think anything of it so why now? She just looked of similar age then plus she was alone and working in the resort . I just think how can I be a good person if iv been with a girl a lot younger without me knowing please know I would never go out or look at girls around this age it was just a holiday one night stand now I'm riddled with anxiety guilt and depression and it was almost 10 year ago arghhh. Anyone

This post is one long rumination. You really need to stop. You are what is making this hard to deal with right now. It's you. OCD latched onto an insignificant incident from your past and blown it all out of proportion. You are making it so much worse by constantly going over it in your mind. Drop it. Leave it alone. Nothing good will come from you thinking about this more.

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Guest Origibark

Your OCD thinks it's relevant but it is no longer, you can't be blamed as you didn't know, you feel so strongly against it so you surely cannot be a monster, your OCD just making you feel bad, let it go and move on is the best way to deal with it, life is too short to obsess over the past, sure it's worth remembering so we learn from our mistakes but if we fixate on it then how can we move forward; you cannot drive a car and look backwards at the same time.

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