Help please

[boogiewoogie12]

I don't know how to get over this particular OCD. I understand how to get over my contamination OCD as you stop the compulsions and generally I over react stupidly (I don't think that at the time obvs.) this one though will happen I hope not any time near now, like in 50/70 years or something but not now! I fear my parents and brother are going to die. I fear one parents death the most and I think if it happened or anything illness wise happened I would kill myself as I wouldn't be able to cope, the thought of it hurts so much and I just don't see the point of life without them. Sometimes I think if I die then they will be ok which I know is stupid! I don't know what to do, I don't know how to help myself stop these thoughts. I read stuff all the time in the news and on social media about death and it sets me off. If I watch a film about a disease or death, I will end up crying myself to sleep from fear of it happening to loved ones. Over the last few days my ocds for this have been crazy! I'm on my period so that might be a reason but I hate fearing it all the time. Xxx

[Markie1974]

I find that when I get scary thoughts , like thinking about my parents dying, I don't acknowledge them. AT ALL. I don't respond, argue with, figure out or reassure myself that things will be ok. I refocus on something enjoyable , like reading a book or watching a movie.

[ohdear]

I know it is not easy OCD thoughts go round and round, often when you are at a low point or tired.

The only way I can suggest is say to yourself I will deal with it when / if it happens, don't ruin your life thinking about what will / might happen

Treat it like going to the dentist, a day or week before going you may start thinking about it, that's normal, but when you come out you think great! That's out of the way for 6 months or a year now! You don't start counting down the days the minute you leave the surgery and ruin every day of your life.

Best wishes.

[bruces]

I can relate I'm absolutely terrified of losing my dad to the point of where I hope I go first

[Guest notmyonlyproblem]

It's all about the uncertainty...

OCD loves to hook onto anything one can't be certain about that you also care about, it's how it works, right?

What my therapist tells me to do for the actual ERP is to not get bogged down in the details of what happens/happened/might happen, but to face the fear of the repercussions - which is actually what our OCD is there to block us facing, and pretending its compulsions in some way prevent.

My OCD is primarily thought based - similar in nature to what you describe (just different specifics) - and I find the only way to address it is to dive right in for that root feared consequence as best I can. (Maybe that's the case with all OCD, I just don't have much experience with many physical compulsions/rituals.)

There's a tactic in the book I use called the downward arrow, that I find is really useful for this (even though it hurts often): http://freedomfromocd.com/downward-arrow-charting-form/

It's hard to always be in a place mentally where I can handle it, but when I do this and face my real fear's consequences, I find it greatly reduces my obsessive thoughts.

My therapist suggests currently that I only stick with this for a maximum of 30 minutes, and if anxiety doesn't subside by then that I give myself some leeway - not saying checking or rituals are ok, but she indicates if I make the anxiety too large then I learn to associate too much discomfort with the work and risk leading myself to believe the work causes too much pain.

I genuinely feel for you, and am hopeful this could help you.

[PolarBear]

The way you get past this theme of OCD is the same as getting past all the other themes. Identify and stop your compulsions. Sure enough you are doing compulsions. You might be trying to negate negative thoughts in your head. You might ruminate over certain death situations. Guaranteed you're doing something. Find it and crush it.

[Guest lauren415]

I have fears about my parents dying too. Especially my dad, because he has OCD too and he's one of the only people I can talk to (in real life) about it. My dog just turned 4, and my husband said he will probably only live another 4 years.and I thought about how the first 4 years went by so fast and before I know it my dog and best friend is going to be dead. I love him so much and he helps me with my anxiety...sometimes when I am crying he licks away my tears. I can't ever be in the present moment cuz I am always worried about the future. Hope it makes you at least feel better that someone can relate. Hope you feel better soon.

[boogiewoogie12]

Thank you everybody! Bruce's I feel the same. Thank you Lauren and can I just say I have 4 pets now all which I love dearly, my cats 14 and happy, ignore your bf animals can live a very long life if treated well and cared for which I am sure you do to your dog ?

I will try what you guys have suggested, I just find it so hard to get past those thoughts, every time I get those thoughts I just think how I couldn't cope and wouldn't want to live and how I think I would kill myself (being selfish for other family members I know) and it makes me feel like I want to die. I don't know why but these last 2 weeks I have had a pounding head/face ache and last 4 nights finding hard to sleep, all that does not help.

Thank u xx

[boogiewoogie12]

Hope you guys feel better soon too xx