Jump to content

Why is it when I ask a tough question my thread is locked?


Recommended Posts

My thread was locked after I asked about Monnica Williams saying that HOCD can easily be confused even by therapists for Internalised homophobia with ocd. Why are people afraid to answer this question? I read another therapist say 90% of his hocd patients are actually straight. i.e. the remaining 10% must be gay.

I feel deep down lin my heart that I know Im gay. I latched onto hocd as a way of not accepting it.

I think coming out and having sex with other men is the only way to be at peace with this.

Theres way too much overwhelming evidence to show Im gay. All the lots of explanations that say oh its an ocd symptom are frivilous and dont hold up under scrutiny.

I hate my life.

Link to comment

Your thread wasn't locked because of a tough question. It was locked because you're using the forum as a vessel to carry out endless compulsions, I mentioned that in the thread.

Already, you've simply flipped this thread round to continue the same line of stuff that you've been doing for a couple of years now. There isn't really anyway anyone can answer these threads without engaging in your compulsions.

You have a couple of choices

Accept you're gay and embrace that life (albeit no-one agrees with you)

Accept you have OCD, seek out some professional help......and more importantly apply as best you can the guidance given......not simply enduring ERP

Link to comment

My thread was locked after I asked about Monnica Williams saying that HOCD can easily be confused even by therapists for Internalised homophobia with ocd. Why are people afraid to answer this question? I read another therapist say 90% of his hocd patients are actually straight. i.e. the remaining 10% must be gay.

I feel deep down lin my heart that I know Im gay. I latched onto hocd as a way of not accepting it.

I think coming out and having sex with other men is the only way to be at peace with this.

Theres way too much overwhelming evidence to show Im gay. All the lots of explanations that say oh its an ocd symptom are frivilous and dont hold up under scrutiny.

I hate my life.

Then why did you suggest that it may be sensorimotor OCD?

You don't just 'latch onto' OCD, by the way.

Link to comment

What you have to deal with simply sucks! Though what is your motive and outcome goal of posting about it? You already know you'll never agree with or be convinced by anyone else's opinion or take on it. So why even ask for opinions? Are you trying and hoping to finally find someone to agree with you? Then that'll convince you one way or the other? You know you'd doubt that also!

Link to comment

You're in a terrible spot, EricDave. That we can all agree on. I doubt it will work but I keep hoping something I write (or someone else does) will help you see what we are 100% convinced of. I think the 10% of those who are gay are not you, by the way, but gay OCD sufferers whose obsession is that they're straight. OCD is keen on destroying your sense of self, so gay sufferers are just like you in reverse: they have always felt homosexual, until a little thought popped into their heads one day to make them doubt themselves. Because that's what it's all about in the end--doubting ourselves, sometimes to the point where we tip over to the side of completely believing our obsessions, as you have. I don't think you're gay, but if you won't try OCD treatment maybe you should see how being gay is. Seems like the only other option other than ruminating about it forever.

Link to comment

I know you didn't find helpful treatment Eric, but nor did I at first, nor do many others at first.

When we are single-minded, as I have been and others have too, we may well find that elusive therapist, or technique, that makes a big big difference.

We are dealing with a difficult disorder, and therapists form their own view of what way might be best to deal with it, but it may not be.

My first experience of CBT was with an - apparently very experienced - psychiatrist from an eminent orgsnisation, but he called it wrong in my case.

Sadly, the great suggestions put forward here, by fellow sufferers, have not been taken on board by you - you just believe, based on your therapy experiences, that everyone is wrong; but when other sexual- orientation OCD sufferers have worked along these lines, we have seen results.

This illness is all about urges feelings and responses that appear totally real and genuine - and turn a core character value (such as our sexual orientation) on its head thus causing enormous distress - and yet are complete falsehoods.

I have been on this forum for four years, and never tire of the magical feeling of unbounded joy I get when people at last realise this and set out on a determined road to recovery.

Edited by taurean
Link to comment

Sad to come back here and see you are still carrying out the same compulsions Eric :(

One thing you can be certain of is you will never be happy with one answer either way, so just accept you don't know and that's fine. The only way out of this is to accept uncertainty, like we all have to. Unfortunately I doubt you'll listen.

Link to comment

I ust want to report the following occurances and get your opinion on them:

1. See images of men in my dreams and notice I have erection

2. Saw an image on tv today where a man had his shirt open and a woman was kissing his chest. Got sudden STRONG arousal feeling and then it shut off as my anxiety went up.

3. Went for a run today. A guy said hello to me and I got a groinal arousal feeling.

4. Getting a groinal arousal just typing thid out describing these things.

5. Got chatting to a girl the other night and didnt feel anything.

6. Everytime a mate of mine site beside me I get a STRONG groinal feeling like a swelling and tension down there. I decided to check my reaction by looking at his crotch and got an ADDITIONAL strong sexual tingling.

Can OCD really this??

I dont even feel that anxious

Link to comment

I ust want to report the following occurances and get your opinion on them:

1. See images of men in my dreams and notice I have erection

2. Saw an image on tv today where a man had his shirt open and a woman was kissing his chest. Got sudden STRONG arousal feeling and then it shut off as my anxiety went up.

3. Went for a run today. A guy said hello to me and I got a groinal arousal feeling.

4. Getting a groinal arousal just typing thid out describing these things.

5. Got chatting to a girl the other night and didnt feel anything.

6. Everytime a mate of mine site beside me I get a STRONG groinal feeling like a swelling and tension down there. I decided to check my reaction by looking at his crotch and got an ADDITIONAL strong sexual tingling.

Can OCD really this??

I dont even feel that anxious

No, OCD can't do that so you must be gay! That's the answer you're OCD is looking for and you seem to want us to say. right?

Link to comment

Of course my answer above is not correct, but your thread suggests you ask a tough question and your thread is locked, when actually the problem is you are not asking tough questions, your questions are fine, it's the fact they are being asked hundreds of times and you are not even willing to consider the answers being given may be the truth, that's the problem. Allowing this repetition, for a long time now is neither helpful for you, nor the forum in general.

You always reply telling us how you continue to visit gay forums, you continue to tell us you don't have OCD and you must be gay, so with you seemingly unwilling to take any kind of step to deal with your OCD, there is no point us answering you until such time you are willing to accept the problem.

Until you accept the real problem, you can't move forward. We can try and help you with that, but not until you start to listen and that is why I think it is time to exclude you from the forum, for your sake.

The moment you are accepting of the problem and prepared to work at it we will be there for you, we will help you. But this endless cycle of years of posting 'is this OCD? am I gay?' can not go on. How do you feel about suspending your account on here for a few month?

Link to comment

I want it to be ocd. But I'm so scared it isn't. Last night I had another sexual dream involving a man. I woke up scared when I caught myself. Then today I am watching tv and a topless guy walks out of the shower with a towel around his waist and I got this sudden intense feeling in my chest like adrenaline arousal and an intense groinal sexual feeling like I was a horny teenager. It's so scary and my mood will be **** for the day now.

I just need to make sure you guys know what is happening to me, that you arent missing something important that shows Im gay.

The main thing I want to get across is the intensity of these groinals/chest feelings. Its not just a harmless tingle through focusing on it.

Also in that moment where the groinal/chest arousal occurs it seems like there is absolutely no way it could be ocd.

Edited by Eric Dave
Link to comment
I just need to make sure you guys know what is happening to me, that you arent missing something important that shows Im gay.

Yes, you crave reassurance and more and more of it, which is why this forum isn't doing you any favours. The next step has to be from you Eric. Until you attempt to take that step, your use of the forum is detrimental to you making any improvement.

Immediately, you've gone straight back to describing scenarios you've described literally hundreds of times for the last couple of years on this forum alone.

I agree with Ashley and think it's perhaps time to stop using this forum until you're at a place where you're ready to move forward with an OCD problem. Until then, we're not able to support in this way

Link to comment
But why should I accept I have OCD when you refuse to answer my questions? People say they have been answered before. I never got a good explanation

I'm sorry Eric, we're not going round and round on this. You've had thousands of explanations, it's just you haven't had one that's given you certainty or assuaged your doubt, that's called OCD and reassurance seeking.

Only you can decide whether you accept you have OCD, it doesn't make it right to keep offering reassurance until you do, or don't

Link to comment

Eric, I know this is hard for you to believe, but all of us on this forum doubt that our OCD is actually OCD. That's why our thoughts and feelings are a problem. If I was 100% certain that my harm thoughts were OCD, I wouldn't struggle with them at all. But because I still doubt this, I suffer. Everything I do that decreases this suffering is done because I have chosen to treat the thoughts and feelings as OCD but I can NEVER BE 100% CERTAIN. Until you start to treat your suffering as OCD (regardless of your doubts), you will continue to suffer.

Link to comment
I dont see anyone here convinced its not ocd though. To me its like there a 5% chance its ocd. I dont think thats normal.

There's not really anything that anyone can add now that doesn't constitute colluding with your OCD and offering you the opportunity to ruminate and carry out compulsions (seek reassurance).

It's up to you to take some action away from this method or stay well and truly stuck :(

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...