Freaking Out

[jballan]

So... My partner left me about a week ago. No notice, just walked in got there stuff and left. Ever since then I have been constantly ruminating about how I drove them away and it's all my fault. I am a horrible human being. I CAN'T stop ruminating. I haven't slept in 3 days, tonight will make it 4. I get too anxious to fall asleep, but I am exhausted.

I distract myself during the day by studying, but that only lasts so long. My inner thoughts are controlling me and they won't stop! I feel like I am going crazy. A chronic stream of sheer panic. What CAN I DO?!

Edited September 4, 2015 by jballan

[Sodovka]

So very sorry that happened to you, jballan. That hurts anyone but OCD just makes it so much worse. At some level you just have to accept it, but maybe there's a way you can even accept the worst thoughts you're having. What's been working a bit for me is to say to my obsession, "Maybe that's true" and then gently return to the moment and distract yourself with an activity. The terrible thoughts will keep coming back but they'll do so less often if you can somehow let them come and go as they need to but don't fire them up by fighting with them. This compulsion will only exacerbate your OCD. I don't pretend this is easy but it will get easier the more you do it. Be well.

[jballan]

hmm.. I think all of them are true! That is a big problem. That makes me feel horrible and makes me hopeless to the level of wanting to die.

[jballan]

I can't even get on Facebook or watch TV. The media is surrounded with ignorance. People talking about Caitlin Jenner, Trump, selfies, bashing gay's and obese, etc... I can't stand it! This is just feuling my hoplessness. I was using it as a distraction I guess that didn't work too well