Jump to content

Do I have BDD?


Guest ajs

Recommended Posts

I am in my early 50s and it has always been important to me to try and look my best. Last year I had Botox treatment to reduce the size of my left masseter (jaw muscle) because it was very bulky and much larger than the masseter on my right jaw. It made my face look asymmetrical and I was becoming very self conscious about it. The botox did reduce the muscle bulk but in the early part of this year - and in a matter of weeks - I developed skin sagging and a jowl as a result. I was told at the time of the treatment there might be some skin laxity but I never expected it to be this much and so noticeable. I am absolutely horrified with how I look and can only blame myself for having the botox in the first place. But even worse it that it seems to have affected my emotional state. I am constantly thinking about it, worrying what it looks like, whether others notice, what I can do to rectify the problem, checking my reflection or avoid it altogether. It is affecting my ability to concentrate at work, in fact I am finding it difficult to function properly - it takes a great effort. Sometimes it feels like I am having some sort of anxiety attack. I am a capable person and I want to get my mind "back" from where it is now. People often commented on how good I looked for my age, which I suppose makes me feel the pressure more now that I have this horrid sagging face. Unfortunately I have a lot of social engagements to attend over the next few weeks and this is literally making me feel sick with worry. Is this a form of BDD? Or am I just a stupid women who has foolishly undertaken treatment to try and improve how she looks, only for the reverse to happen and I'm now paying the price.

Link to comment

Hi ajs,

Welcome to the forums :original: .......I'm sure you'll understand only a medical professional can diagnose, but what you're experiencing does have all the hallmarks of BDD.....it's also possible that perhaps problems with the disorder predate the botox - the worry (anxiety?) you initially felt over the size of your left jaw muscle in all probability could be put down to BDD too.

I guess to some extent most people will have something about their physical appearance they're unhappy about, but the giveaway BDD's playing a role, is the degree to which those thoughts and feelings are affecting the persons daily life, if they're avoiding certain situations because of the perceived flaw, the anxiety and how all consuming the preoccupation is etc.

Ideally, the best person really to have a chat with would be your GP for their opinion and a possible referral to your local mental health team for an assessment - if it is BDD you'd then be able to access Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).....that's the gold standard treatment for BDD, providing the tools to gradually change the way we're reacting to and coping with the thoughts.

There is one downside....the waiting times through the NHS can be quite lengthy for CBT, but while waiting, self-help books geared towards tackling the problem can be very useful, I'd recommend getting hold of a copy of Dr David Veale's 'Overcoming Body Image Problems...' in some ways even if access to treatment were immediate, it's always useful to have an idea what the CBT will entail before it gets going.

The other option, would be accessing treatment through the private sector, but what we gain with speed of access we lose with the cost - seeing someone qualified and with the experience needed to effectively treat BDD would mean finding a therapist through the British Association of Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP) with hourly fees ranging from £70-£150.00 an hour........factor in, possibly 10 to 20 sessions and that's quite a hefty price.

It's easy for me to say this, but the worst thing you can do is avoid the social engagements coming up, unfortunately the more someone avoids an anxiety creating situation, the worse the BDD can become...the more you can refuse to listen to it and alter your day to day life the easier in the long run it will be to overcome it.

I hope that might help a bit, but I would recommend having a chat with your GP and maybe getting hold of a copy of Dr Veale's book.

Hal :original:

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Hi ajs.I got that book and it was very helpful.It might help you to realize that you are very harsh about assessing your appearance.Did people used to comment on your jaw?

Link to comment

Hi lovid

Thanks for your post. Nobody had commented on my jaw.

I am coming to realise that for a long time my feelings of self-worth have been based on how I look, or how I feel I look. I have always tried to look my best. If I felt I looked OK then others would "judge" me favourably and all would be well. I feel I have let myself down by having a treatment that has made my appearance much worse and I feel really depressed. It looks noticeable and I worry what colleagues, friends and family think - or are going to think - when they see me. I am feeling scared about how much further deterioration there will be.

On a more positive note, I have read through the book several times and have found it helpful.

Link to comment

Hi lovid

Sorry - this isn't going to be a short answer!

The muscle that was injected - my masseter (jaw muscle) - will more or less go back to working how it was before the treatment - it is already doing so. Unfortunately, however, everything is connected in the face. When the jaw muscle was paralysed, the connecting surrounding facial tissues, muscles, skin etc which were being supported by the jaw muscle, were no longer supported and basically dropped. It is this that has caused the laxity, hollow cheeks and jowls. The volume has gone and the muscles that supported the fat pad in the cheek are virtually lifeless. These do not just recover like the injected jaw muscle. I hope that makes sense. Having now researched this thoroughly online there are other people who have had exactly the same thing happen to them after Botox to the masseters and they all report that the loss of tone, sagginess, cheek drop etc gets worse as the months go by. A few people have experienced minor improvements to their appearance after a year or two, but most report that they are left looking hollow faced and prematurely aged. Almost all the posts I have read tell the same story of the shock of seeing their faces change and age and how it has effected their mental state (depression, anxiety, shame at what they have done to themselves etc) - so in that I am not alone.

Link to comment

Could this effect all be caused by the mental problems surrounding BDD.Most of the people who have this procedure will be majorly concerned with their appearance anyway.I know someone who had Bell's Palsy and looked perfectly normal a few years later.One side of his face exactly matched the other.Muscle tone surely would rebuild as the muscles are used again?I bet an outside observer would look at you and not notice that anything had been done in a few years time.Have people mentioned that your appearance has changed for the worse recently?

Link to comment

My work colleagues have not mentioned anything but I really don't think people would come out and say "what has happened to your face?". I wouldn't if I noticed something different about somebody I knew. I haven't seen any family members recently - I think I am probably avoiding doing so. I felt very low yesterday - really terrible. I don't want to live my life feeling like this so today I am trying to push unwelcome thoughts out of my mind and not look or scrutinize in the mirror. Thank you for your posts, it is helpful to chat.

Link to comment

yes not looking too often is a big help.Only use the mirror to get ready.It is important that no one has mentioned your face so keep in mind that it might be something that only you have noticed :original:

Link to comment
Guest Orwell1984

Hi ajs. I have BDD and the way you describe your symptoms seems very familiar. My BDD has lessened because I don't use the mirror to check and correct imperfections. I also challenge the BDD behaviourally so that means not avoiding social situations where I'm dressed up, not spending too much time ruminating whether people are looking at my physical imperfections or not (this is quite hard but it is doable and the only way to not become socially isolated). My main concerns are to do with a strange nose, chin and neck transition. I feel I look like a goose due to lack of neck definition (in my mind). I have had this all my life but when I look at photos if myself as a teen I realise I was good looking. I perceived myself as ugly at the time. I probably am perceiving my current image wrongly too.

Just use the mirror to put makeup on as it's risky compulsion territory. Don't feel the sides of your face to compare the symmetry either. Your body most likely will heal itself

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...