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trouble with 4 step


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Ive taken good advice on hear and am trying hard 4 step a million times from morning to night

With 4 step it seems to be aimed at intrusive thoughts

My problem is mime are intrusive memorys

Constantly have flashs of going and lying on sister in laws bed

Trying to get in door

And a couple of fantasys about her

Every time I try to recognize my mind says its not ocd

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Guest imalright

Just so I'm straight.....the experiences of you going to lie on your sisters bed and the door.....was that an actual event....or is it more an OCD thought you're not sure about? Xx

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Guest nervous

It still is an intrusive thought, as in it is a thought that plaques you. It could be real or imagined it doesn't matter. A year ago when I wasn't doing to good I was out for a walk one day and walking into a business I stepped in someone's vomit, that's pretty icky even if you don't have ocd. It happened for sure, believe me I was sure, but the amount of importance I gave this moment was more than it was worth and the steps I went through to alleviate the feeling was extreme and that is what defines it as an ocd thought. Each time you try to free yourself of this guilt in some way you only worsen the feeling. OCD can focus on any thought so it is important to not spend time over thinking the thought. That is why everyone is telling you not to do compulsions like googling for similar stories, confessing, reassurance seeking all of this will only throw fuel on the fire.

Your on the right track just have faith

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Thanks nervous youve been a great support ill keep trying

Its hard to understand how these thoughts are meaningless as there was obviously intention on the bed and I got pleasure from fantasy,i suppose it is as I honestly have no emotional feelings for her sister or even fancy her as strange as that sounds it was just a bad choice of distraction after not being wanted by my wife for so long,cant change it but I know the person I am now will be the greatest husband she can hope for

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Guest nervous

It is good to see you are working on being a good husband sometimes we look at those we see everyday and remember why we spend our time with them. Your doing good just keep going and it will make sense in time. Eventually you will see there is more than just yes or no, when ocd is bad we try to define things as meaningless or critically important but really such a effort is ridiculous. It is like for me I have had to learn that there is something in between completely clean and completely dirty and just because something isn't necessarily clean doesn't mean it is dirty.

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battlethrough, you have to understand that the memories you are having are the intrusive thoughts. It doesn't matter that they are based on memories of real events. The thoughts pop into your head, they are unwanted and they cause you distress. That is the definition of an intrusive thought.

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Agreed with polar bear. You need to put these thoughts under the umbrella of OCD DESPITE their perceived legitimacy. Stop twisting in the wind. The sooner you accept this, the quicker you can start on some exposures to attack it. Sorry for the tough love but I wouldn't say this unless I thought it would have. I want you to treat these thoughts as irrelevant. Laugh at it. That's how you beat it. Not easy but nothing worthwhile is.

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