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Hi all,

I've been a long time reader of this forum ( under a "guest" account ) and have been through several episodes of varying forms of OCD; my last major spike was some 4 or so years back and revolved around thoughts / fears over my ( at the time ) baby daughter. Through a combination of CBT and bloody hard-work things seems to have improved hugely over the past few years.

However over the last couple of months I've become increasingly annoyed / stressed / anxious over our neighbors near a property we have, as a family for just over one year. To be fair our neighbors are, on the whole really nice,normal people. It just seems that any little thing they do that I feel is "annoying" really gets me in a state! For example the neighbor to our side has an outside light that shines into several of our rooms, the light was left on one evening until 19:30 and I had a mini panic attack - about the light being even though I could not see it in the main lounge! I ended up speaking with this neighbor who agreed to keep the light off when not in use. I've now noticed another outside light on a neighbors house that backs onto ours...and again I'm in pieces...even though it can only be seen if I look hard through the trees that separate our gardens...

I'm at a loss what to do! These lights don't bother any other member of my family and my wife was upset that I'd asked our neighbor to shut off their lights. I just find OCD bizarre in this way, I'm completely floored by something so "small" and in reality could even fit a blind to our kitchen window to block out any light...it's almost the fact that I know the light is on that is causing my issues...My wife ( who has been amazing throughout all of my issues ) has suggested I visit my GP and have a chat with her; maybe look to speak with a therapist or similar. I'm just not sure what I can do over such an odd spike! Has anyone else noted such bizarre causes to OCD spikes and if so how do you go about combating them!?

At this point any advice that can be provided would be most welcomed...

Thanks,

GoGoCardigan

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Try and analyse why you find that light so annoying . There might be something in your past that made lights, neighbour lights be counted as something dangerous. Then understand whatever it is that is just ocd. If you dont find the root cause, just ignore it.

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Hi GGC,

I can relate to this. Not specifically about the lights. If someone does something without due regard for others (including me), then I interpret that as meaning that I am unimportant. And that view of myself can be traced back to my childhood and the relationship that I had with my father. The consequence of feeling unimportant taps into the emotional pain that I felt as a child and adolescent. Of course, this may, or may not not be relevant in your case. I offer it purely for your consideration.

Anon

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Hi both, thanks for the replies. I think, Anon it is a similar vein to what you have written in that it is not the lights per se that cause the anxiety; it seems to be a link to what I deem to be inconsiderate to others. For example I find loud music from neighbours annoying too as it feels as if my space is being invaded by something outside my control! I then seem to ruminate on "why" my neighbours feel the need to behave in such an awful way :p

I kind of know when this started too, we had a neighbour next door in our first house who enjoyed loud, terrible dance music most days. After a month or so I became quite ill prior to returning home to work which was, as I know now anxiety over what was to come! Since those heady days I have had an intolerance to people who I believe are inconsiderate to others / others needs. This can manifest itself wherever I am i.e. if I see someone in town behaving this way I am inclined to speak out (much to the chagrin of my Wife!!). I will then spend hours going over and over these situations in my mind to see if I can come to some sort of conclusion as to why that person behaved as they did; obviously I never get to the required conclusion which drives me even more round the bend.

I'm now booked into see my doctor and will be asking to speak to a therapist etc. as I can't go on like this - I need some breathing space to allow me to enjoy life once more and ensure I don't miss anymore of my two daughter's "growing up" years :D

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Hi both, thanks for the replies. I think, Anon it is a similar vein to what you have written in that it is not the lights per se that cause the anxiety; it seems to be a link to what I deem to be inconsiderate to others. For example I find loud music from neighbours annoying too as it feels as if my space is being invaded by something outside my control! I then seem to ruminate on "why" my neighbours feel the need to behave in such an awful way :p

I kind of know when this started too, we had a neighbour next door in our first house who enjoyed loud, terrible dance music most days. After a month or so I became quite ill prior to returning home to work which was, as I know now anxiety over what was to come! Since those heady days I have had an intolerance to people who I believe are inconsiderate to others / others needs. This can manifest itself wherever I am i.e. if I see someone in town behaving this way I am inclined to speak out (much to the chagrin of my Wife!!). I will then spend hours going over and over these situations in my mind to see if I can come to some sort of conclusion as to why that person behaved as they did; obviously I never get to the required conclusion which drives me even more round the bend.

I'm now booked into see my doctor and will be asking to speak to a therapist etc. as I can't go on like this - I need some breathing space to allow me to enjoy life once more and ensure I don't miss anymore of my two daughter's "growing up" years :D

Hi GGC,

We often need to find the underlying reason for why we respond the way we do. Are you aware of the ABC model in relation to CBT? If not, you may find it interesting. For me, it is critically important. Just google it.

Anon

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