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Hocd and Puberty is a bad mix I need help with.


Guest Questioning

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Guest Questioning

Hello,

I am a sufferer of severe OCD. The main form currently hurting me right now is HOCD. Here is my full story.

This all started about a year ago. I began to start thinking about about boys sexually, but in an odd way. The first time it happened I thought about a boy who was very feminine looking and I realized later that night that thought was dumb, so I put it away. Then, a couple months later, I was in the woods with my friend, and we were talking about girls, and I was so frustrated I couldn't do things with them at the time, I geared the sexual frustration towards him and thought about him inappropriately. From there, it was a gradual snowball downwards, and I began thinking about boys more and more sexually. However, there is a catch. The handful of boys I thought about were pre-pubescent and in my own grade. I could not get turned on by boys, no matte what they looked like if they has hit puberty. This includes gay porn as well. At this point, I didn't consider my self bi (I do primarily like girls), I didn't think anything of it, in fact, until OCD kicked in and I began to obsess about it every waking minute. The moment I wake up in the morning, it is on my mind, and even when I wake up at night accidentally I am thinking about it.Now my brain has been making me question everything. If I see a guy on tv, my brain will ask "is he attractive?" Do you want to have sex with him? I have had way less of a sex drive for girls because it feels forced. My mind is under fire and I need help! Am I just another teen going through a faze who has OCD, or am I bisexual? I don't want to be bi, and have never been attracted to guys before. I would have a hard time accepting it if I was. People have said to wait and see, and don't label yourself, but i need reassurance! Please help!

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