Hi I am a mum of an OCD sufferer.

[Guest krissy jo]

Hi I am a mum of an OCD sufferer. My daughter is now living with me again and I'm not sure how to help her. I have just read some information about OCD and I'm worried that she seems to have all the symptoms. I cant get her back to the doctors to find out how much longer she has to wait for professional help.

[Em24]

Hi Krissy,

Sorry to hear your daughter is suffering. How old is your daughter? Has she had an official diagnoses? What are her symptoms if you don't mind my asking!

I can't see where u are from as I'm on the mobile site but if u are in the UK there is a great charity called Young Minds. They offer support for people 25 and under. They have a 'Save the parents' helpline and also a helpline for kids themselves. It might be worth giving them a call. They are very friendly and may have some tips on how to encourage your daughter to get help.

OCD can sometimes feel like an old friend, like a safety net. Obviously we know that to be untrue, but it can be hard sometimes for sufferers to give themselves the kick up the bum they need to get better. The task just seems so daunting it almost seems easier to let OCD win. Doing that though just causes it to take hold further and for the rituals, compulsive behaviour and/or thoughts to develop more and take a stronger hold.

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/

Hope this helps a bit x

[Guest krissy jo]

Hi my daughter is 29 and till august last year seemed to be managing well with her OCD. Her life fell apart with the break up of a 10yr relationship, which led to the lose of a house that they where moving in to after a year and a half of living with me. We had a falling out and she disappeared for 3 weeks. When she finally came back her OCD had manifested in to an unbelievable state. At this very moment she is in bed and has been there for 3 days, all because I did something different than I said I was going to do. Her symptoms are basically everything but the worst thing is the fear of contamination. She keeps losing trust in me that I don't care about her and don't understand the illness. She seems fine as long as I do exactly as she says. She is on medication but some times refuses to take it. She has seen a doctor who has put her forward for counselling but that was months ago and we are still waiting. I really feel helpless and not sure what to do. I am always reassuring her that I love her and want to help her.

[Em24]

Its so hard for FFC when it comes to OCD.

Ideally you need to stop playing a part in her rituals. If she asks for reassurance, just reply with something like 'I'm not going to give your OCD what it wants. I care for you too much.'

I know thats easier said than done. I have OCD and my 5 year old does too. Its hard when we see our children suffering no matter what age they are.

It sounds like your daughter has had a lot going on and ots very common for OCD to flare up at times like this. Has she read any self help books? Break free From OCD is a very popular one.

Or see if you could get her on the forum? Talking with others who are going through the same thing can be comforting and we have a no reassurance policy here! We offer advise on beating the OCD. We don't pander to peoples compulsions like some support forums I've seen.

Do u have any support yourself? When helping someone with OCD its easy to forget that you are important too. There are usually local support groups for people caring for OCD sufferers. You can find info on the main OCD UK website x

[Guest krissy jo]

Hi Emma Thank you for helping me. I feel that I am getting nowhere with my daughter. She is continually putting things off, so not moving forward. I can relate to the anxiety so manage to calm her down, but every day she makes a plan of what she needs to do to just get herself showered, and then something happens and she has an anxiety attack and nothing gets down. We are going round in circles. I cant get her to the doctor and she wont let me get the doctor to come to the house. Do I leave it for her to decide or do I take control and have her not trust me. She can be very mistrustful and I feel that the trust issues is it what I need to concentrate on at the moment. I also tell her that it is her life and I cant make her do anything she doesn't want to do. Also that she can let the OCD take her life, or she can take it back and make her life better.

[Em24]

Its a hard situation for you to be in. Essentially it is her decision as to whether she gets help or not.

However she is living in your house and she is affecting your life. Thats not fair.

I would advise you to stop engaging in her compulsions. Whatever they are, if she tries to envolve you in any way. Just refuse. If she goes nuts then so be it, it will pass.

I think a bit of tough love here is best. She will get to a point where her anxiety is so high from the constant need for compulsive behaviour and rituals that she won't be able to deny the fact that she needs help.

Just let her know u are there for her when she is ready to start recovery. Until then you are taking a back seat and getting on with your life.

Xx

[Guest Sally44]

OCD has its peaks and troughs. Your daughter has gone through a difficult period of breaking up from a relationship. That is hard for anyone. So now might not be a good time to be trying to get improvements.

I agree with advice above. Do not take part in her rituals, or give reassurance to OCD questions. It is important that she does 'recognise' what is OCD and what isn't. My son is 14 with OCD. If he is having a bad period/day/hour I just say "I am not going to answer that question because it is an OCD one". Or if he is repeatedly asking the same questions over and over eg. "is that clean" etc I just say that I am now going to answer it because it is OCD.

Sit down and have that conversation. Tell her that although her OCD seems high at the moment, that it will lessen. Tell her that you will not do rituals or reassure.

Don't keep bringing up OCD and giving it air time. Don't get involved in arguments etc. Walk away. Say something like "I can see that you are upset/angry at the moment and you need some time to calm down." and leave the room and don't get drawn into discussions, arguments, reassurance etc.

Try to keep a healthy diet. Vitamin supplements if needed. Try to go on walks together, or get some kind of exercise somehow because exercise releases chemicals in the brain that make us feel good. Try to get her to do things that make her feel good or distract her. Watching a comedy DVD, doing a puzzle/crossword/adult colouring etc. Try to ensure she takes medication. If the dosage has increased, or medication changed, that too can cause an increase in OCD symptoms.

Edited February 1, 2016 by Sally44

[Guest Elvana]

I discovered my daughter has OCD when she had a break up from her first relationship. She is 17 yo. I never knew what OCD is. Never heard of that deceases before. It took me several months to understand that it was a deceases that i was dealing not just my teen daughter, and months to accept it. During this months i learned that she had the break up so I've tried to be supportive emotionally and tried to entertained her as much as I could, as she tended to stay home alone not talking to any one. Trips abroad to her cousins, trips in youth exchange, a long family holiday that helped her a lot to feel better and loved. Her OCD was much better but still there. I believe in these moment she has to reduce the stress of break up as I believe it is the main reason of her OCD getting worse.

[Guest krissy jo]

Thanks for your comments. It is really hard to not do what she asks, and not reassure her that things are clean. She gets angry when I tell her I'm not playing the OCD game. After your comments I will try and answer with yes or no. Its a struggle to get her out of the house but I don't push the issue and leave it up to her. Also with trying to get her to the doctors I just tell her its her life if she wants to stay like she is with OCD controlling her life that's her choice.