ROCD

[Guest GlitterPink]

Hi,i have been in a relationship for over a year now,and honestly i do love him to pieces. About 4/5 months into our relationship,when i was going through alot of stress at college,i started getting intrusive thoughts 'what if i dont love him' 'what if i get bored of him' 'something feels different' and i just couldnt understand what, it was driving me insane,i was crying all the time,being sick all the time i just couldnt understand where this had come from when we were and still are in a perfectly loving relationship. I took too googling and i did the wrong thing and read about stuff like '10 signs that youve fallen out of love' and it just made everything so much worse..until i read about something called ROCD,and honestly the shoe just fitted it couldnt have been more right. I have never been to see anyone for help unforunatly because im scared they will think its stupid or non existent. Its almost a year later and I do have more good days and bad,i think i am realising that i want to be with him,and relationships are hard work,its all about working through the hard times. I just wish it would go away. Recently i have been going through a hard time with his family,its causing alot of arguments between me and him,which as you can imagine isnt helping with the thoughts. Any advice anyone.

[Guest SurfRider]

I took too googling and i did the wrong thing and read about stuff like '10 signs that youve fallen out of love' and it just made everything so much worse..until i read about something called ROCD,and honestly the shoe just fitted it couldnt have been more right.

I think that most of the relationship advice for "regular people" is only going to make ROCD worse. They'll tell you that if you're having doubts, you should get out because he/she obviously isn't "the one." I believe that much of the relationship advice out there is pretty bad because much of how our culture approaches relationships is generally broken. I think that much of the men's dating advice I've read was actually damaging. Is the massive quantity of available relationship advice making our relationships any better? The numbers don't support that. We're swimming in relationship advice, yet good relationships seem more elusive than ever, at least for most people.

I've lost good relationships because of an obsession with some some small flaw in her, and because I could never be sure that if I went ahead and married her, I wouldn't meet someone better later on.

Edited February 8, 2016 by SurfRider

[Guest bmarieb]

Your story sounds very similar to mine. I've been in my relationship for nearly 6 months now. The thoughts started about 2 weeks ago and it seems like from the moment one entered my mind they just refuse to go away. I am freaking out because I felt like from the moment I met him I knew that he was the one for me. I didn't question anything...ever! Now, it seems that I can't even seem to decide if I love him, even though I know deep down that I do. The thoughts are so persistent that sometimes I convince myself that if I just end things with him I will finally feel better. It has gotten to the point that I have made myself physically sick from worrying so much. I cannot eat or drink, I have to keep running to the bathroom, and I've lost about 6 pounds in the past two weeks. I'm down to a low 96 lbs now. I don't know what to do. Like you, these thoughts seem to have creeped in once I hit some major stress in college. Now I'm going crazy wondering if I really don't love him or if my anxiety disorder is just trying to convince me that I don't. Is it fair for me to keep him in this relationship if I am wrestling with my thoughts? I feel terrible but I know that I do not want to lose him.

Also, have you told your boyfriend about these thoughts? If so, has it seemed to make things better or worse? Regardless, don't think that if you tell a psychologist or psychiatrist, they'll think that you are dumb or that this condition is not real. I have talked to my therapist about this and she assured me that these thoughts are all part of my anxiety/OCD. I have been on medication for over 9 years now to help with my anxiety. Sometimes, medicine can really help. I wish you luck! Know you're not alone!