Losing faith that there is a future for me.

[Guest Girl Interrupted]

Hi, I'm new to this forum but I feel so isolated that I wanted to reach out. I had OCD for 20+ years but only diagnosed a couple of years ago. I'm exhausted with the battle and despite having some good spells, sometimes weeks at a time, as soon as the slightest blip hits I tumble back down the rabbit hole. I am sick of living my life like this, I can't bear the overwhelming panic and fear of all the ridiculous things my OCD creates, from thinking I'm someone who could cause harm to someone, to fancying a friend and I'll end up cheating on my husband! Each intrusive thought is filled with extreme panic and anxiety and I just want it to go away.....forever. But I know it won't, it will always be part of me no matter how hard I try. Now I question my quality of life and keep thinking 'I could make it stop.' I have absolutely nothing to offer the world and I'm a burden to my husband. I just want it to stop, I just want to be free.

[Symps07]

Hi Girl Interrupted,

Welcome to the forum :original:, I'm sorry it's under such circumstances though.

I can relate to your feelings of being a burden & of questioning my life. It's easy to allow yourself to wallow in these thoughts & it becomes a kind of rumination. Sometimes, you've got to just let them go so that you can get on with actually living your life.

When you were diagnosed, did you get the chance to see a therapist or a specialist of some sort?

Symps

[PolarBear]

Welcome to the forum, Girl Interrupted.

You are certainly not alone. A lot of people get to the point where you are. Every obsession is like a brand new onslaught of severe anxiety. We've all, to some extent, been there. The good news is that there are treatments for OCD. I believe OCD is not a life sentence. Getting better is hard work but people can get better.

I'm interested to know the answer to Symps question about therapy.

[Guest Girl Interrupted]

Thank you so much for replying, it means a lot. I had a 8 session course of CBT, and I'm about to start an 8 week course of Mindfulness.

[njb]

Hi you.

Welcome to the forum.

Never ever give up. Its all ocd and label it as such and distract yourself. Easier said I know.

Like you and others I've had it a long time, since childhood and now 42 so you'd think I have good insight, which I do, but only when well. I am thinking you too know what you're up against but the ocd when really oppressive steals your skill set and leaves you prone to falling in the stinky ocd pit of lies and doom.

You're obviously lovely as you have ocd. I'm sure you can find some strength from just reaching out to people who really know what its like.

Mostly there is always someone here to shake you about and tell you its your ocd. I always laugh that it could be anything, from thinking you like the neighbour to your neighbours cat and the cats dinner. It'll all get you, same brain mess different themes!

Anyway, just thought you could do with a little chat back and a welcome.

Hope your day a little brighter for reaching out.x

[Symps07]

How did you find your CBT course? Did you & your therapist manage to find a way for you to deal with your OCD?