How to explain ROCD to boyfriend

[*smile*like*you*mean*it*]

Got a bit upset last night and tried to explain what my ROCD is about to my boyfriend but he ended up worrying that I don't love him

I asked him to google ROCD and he said I don't care what Google says I want you to tell me what you worry about

How can I help him understand without upsetting him?

[BristolChris]

It would be very hard for someone who doesn't have ocd to understand it. I think the best way my be to explain it as an illness and that it doesn't reflect your personality.

[Lynz]

I agree it can be very hard for a non-sufferer to understand it. I'm lucky in that my boyfriend understands it very well. He doesn't have OCD but he has generalised anxiety disorder and depression and a lot of the thought patterns in GAD are very similar to OCD. My dad has anxiety so he gets it, my mum however has never had any anxiety condition so she finds it really hard to understand and always says the wrong things such as "well if you're doubting yourself then it must be true"... really unhelpful things like that.

I would maybe Google some information about it yourself, show him the page and get him to read it, explaining anything he doesn't understand as he's reading it and relating it to your own experiences of OCD. Ultimately though there's nothing you can do if he refuses to read it or engage you with what you're trying to tell him, and it worries me that he simply refused to even look on the internet for more information, so it's already like he's got the blinders on. Good luck!

[BristolChris]

Yeah some people who don't underatand anxiety can say the wrong thing. One auntie once said to me

That I might find my worries are normal. Also once I said that I had anxiety over some onion rings that may have a tiny bit of alcohole in the batter affecting my decision making 3 days later. She told me to go careful as it might

Edited April 27, 2016 by BristolChris

[oetegenn1976]

I have told my husband and family about Ocd and nobody understands it. Let me just say this though, we are no different to anyone else, we are normal human beings and we are not mental! All we have is the inability to differentiate between rational thoughts and non rational....thus making us dwell and keeping the thoughts with us. People without ocd have same thoughts they just don't dwell on them and carry on.

[Ashley]

Got a bit upset last night and tried to explain what my ROCD is about to my boyfriend but he ended up worrying that I don't love him

I asked him to google ROCD and he said I don't care what Google says I want you to tell me what you worry about

How can I help him understand without upsetting him?

I wouldn't try and explain ROCD to him, partly because there is no such thing (in medical terms) and so googling it will bring up loads of stuff which is not relevant to you, so he is right it is important you explain how it makes you 'feel' and that's the important part to get across to him. Try and explain OCD to him and what OCD causes you to worry about may not seem like much to most people but to you it 'feels' so real, which is of course how every type of OCD is. It's the thoughts plus the 'feeling' that combine to give OCD its power.

Try and explain that you trust him, but your OCD makes you 'feel' XYZ (whatever your OCD fears are).

I have to say this to you slightly off topic, lose the ROCD term, it won't be helpful for you in the long run in terms of dealing with it, and we all know the type of OCD will shift over time anyway for most people. So ROCD today, will be another form of OCD in a few weeks perhaps.

[Guest]

But be assured that it is a valid obsession- the moniker ROCD is not helpful though in getting you over OCD. See the relationship obsessions as just obsessions. Do explain to your boyfriend the exhaustion and mental loops the OCD causes. Best way to explain it I think

[*smile*like*you*mean*it*]

Thanks for all your comments

Having a bit of a stressful time at the moment with uni work as coming to the end of my course and deadline for final piece is very soon.

Upset as my ocd is focusing on my relationship with my boyfriend at the moment

It's all I think about when I'm with him

I just think are we meant to be together I think about all his faults and it gets me down

and I obsess over whether I think he looks like a family member

It's all very upsetting feel like ocd is ruining things and taking him away from me