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Being clean/hygienic


Guest Blu

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Hey,

So part of my OCD along with disturbing intrusive thoughts is hygiene worries. I have a complete routine in the shower and if I don't do it correct I will have to start all over again. Today, I can't seem to feel clean and hygienic no matter what I do... I went to the gym earlier, and had a shower which I completed my routine but because it was in an unfamiliar place and a different shower to my own I didn't feel satisfied that I was clean. But I fought with all my will power against having another shower as I knew it wouldn't make a difference. I've been out all day in town seeing different people and I can't help feel that I'm unclean. I've just had another shower at my partners house and this time only washed myself with the shower gel and not completed my routine but I still feel very very unclean and I don't want to put my clothes back on because they'll make it even worse but I have to go out in a bit to pick my partner up from work and I just feel ill need another shower when I get back... I keep using face wipes to wipe my face and my armpits and crotch but nothing's taking all this fear away that I am unclean and unhygienic. It's proper stressing me out. :( can anyone advise me please?

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Guest doris

I've had the same problem. My showers used to be super lengthy, involved and anxiety provoking. What I did to approach it was first write out all my rituals done in shower. then I rated each ritual how uncomfortable it would make me if I didn't do it. then I started at the easiest and worked my way up, slowly eliminating as many rituals as I could, all with the help of cognitive exercises so that when my anxiety came up I was expecting it and could deal with it without ritualizing.

I'm not surprised that using wipes isn't taking your fear away--you're just reinforcing your ocd worry that you aren't clean. Have you had any cbt? that would really help you to understand the concepts of how to approach exposure hierarchies in a manageable way.

wishing you well!

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Guest Blu

I've had the same problem. My showers used to be super lengthy, involved and anxiety provoking. What I did to approach it was first write out all my rituals done in shower. then I rated each ritual how uncomfortable it would make me if I didn't do it. then I started at the easiest and worked my way up, slowly eliminating as many rituals as I could, all with the help of cognitive exercises so that when my anxiety came up I was expecting it and could deal with it without ritualizing.

I'm not surprised that using wipes isn't taking your fear away--you're just reinforcing your ocd worry that you aren't clean. Have you had any cbt? that would really help you to understand the concepts of how to approach exposure hierarchies in a manageable way.

wishing you well!

Hey, that makes sense but I only have 1 ritual that I have to complete otherwise my anxiety and panick is provoked and it just makes me have a complete meltdown, it's made me late for work on many occasions.

I havnt yet but I've spoken to the CBT specialist at work (I work for adolescent mental health) and she said to use exposure and mix it up a bit in the shower but that's really hard... As it just makes me feel dirty for the whole day and id probably have to have another shower in the evening...

I do have an upcoming mental health assesment so will probably talk to them about it... Thank you :)

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Guest Blu

That feeling of not being clean clears up eventually if you give it time. That's the exposure.

It just fuels anxiety and I can't function :( I try but I wouldn't be able to let my partner touch me cus I'd be dirty and it might repulse her...

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Guest doris

That's good that you're going to get some help--you may also want to try an ocd workbook if you haven't already.

I'm thinking from what you are saying that maybe you need to do more work on the cognitive side of things so that when you go to do the exposure you are prepared to handle the anxiety and obsessive thoughts. An ocd workbook should help you identify cognitive distortions and give you exercises to work on to help you approach these. My workbook suggested at least 2 weeks of purely cognitive work before starting on exposures. then you integrate the cognitive stuff along with the exposures. good luck! :)

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It just fuels anxiety and I can't function :( I try but I wouldn't be able to let my partner touch me cus I'd be dirty and it might repulse her...

I too have experienced multiple hour showers even to the point of nearly passing out, but what you are describing here is the difference between not compulsing and planned exposure. They are very different the first being way way harder to cope with. In an exposure exercise you choose to not wash how you would and set out from the start to not compulse in any way including avoidance and rumination.

Like doris said though maybe you need better cognition, looking at the theory A theory B approach to exposures and looking at how our behaviour fuels the problem.

Edited by Gemma7
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Guest Blu

That's good that you're going to get some help--you may also want to try an ocd workbook if you haven't already.

I'm thinking from what you are saying that maybe you need to do more work on the cognitive side of things so that when you go to do the exposure you are prepared to handle the anxiety and obsessive thoughts. An ocd workbook should help you identify cognitive distortions and give you exercises to work on to help you approach these. My workbook suggested at least 2 weeks of purely cognitive work before starting on exposures. then you integrate the cognitive stuff along with the exposures. good luck! :)

Even reading that makes me feel funny haha... I'll have a look online or talk to the CBT specialist at work see what she recommends...

Thank you :)

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Guest Blu

I too have experienced multiple hour showers even to the point of nearly passing out, but what you are describing here is the difference between not compulsing and planned exposure. They are very different the first being way way harder to cope with. In an exposure exercise you choose to not wash how you would and set out from the start to not compulse in any way including avoidance and rumination.

Like doris said though maybe you need better cognition, looking at the theory A theory B approach to exposures and looking at how our behaviour fuels the problem.

I'll talk to the CBT specialist at work and see wha she recommends...

And I'll wait for my assesment to come through too... Thank you for your knowledge and advice :)

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