Masturbation and OCD

[NicoletteCB]

Perhaphs a "taboo" subject but I've seen people on and off on here who struggle with this too, when your OCD focuses on a sexual theme that causes anxiety, it's so difficult to become sexually aroused or masturbate or even have sex for those who are active in that way.

My issue mainly is that getting intrusive thoughts will masturbating is a buzz kill and causes so much anxiety for me, my biggest fear is getting a thought and then orgasming to it or having it in my head before and during the peak of orgasm, it's difficult to get over these thoughts and what makes it worse is then I start worrying I'm not as sexually turned on by the thoughts I do like and fantasies I am entertaining.

Idk how other's deal with this but it's really difficult for me and it's just too much anxiety

[OCD_Guy_UK]

I had recent issues in this subject area so I can empathise. It was highly difficult for me to mention the word to the counsellor a few months ago. Talk about awkward!

I'm not really experienced in this particular issue of this subject but have you thought about maybe, umm, not masturbating for a while? Or, make sure the topic is a focussed one by, umm, watching particular "stuff" and just focussing on that stuff?

[OCD_Guy_UK]

I have a whole chunk of random stuff pop into my head though during masturbation which isn't anything to do with what I was initially focussed on. Thankfully I find I can ignore it all. If it feels like OCD, it probably is. Distract yourself back to what it was you was focussed on and don't give the OCD any attention. Won't work right away perhaps but in time it'll get the idea.

[NicoletteCB]

Haha! I'm sorry you had to go through that awkward convo with the counsellor but mostly I haven't done any type of uh "self pleasure" since my OCD relapsed 6 months ago so I guess for me I have to do this almost like ERP or whatever to learn to deal with the thoughts but it really sucks.

I haven't tried watching something though, it's a good idea haha

[OCD_Guy_UK]

The break was probably just as much enforced as a good idea Hopefully you can return with a more tuned focus and perspective

[PolarBear]

What happens is you're partaking in a natural endeavor and having intrusive thoughts. Remember you can't control the intrusive thoughts. They're going to show up when they show up and there's not anything you can do about it.

The problem is that you're attaching importance to the intrusive thoughts, being afraid that you might have an orgasm while having an intrusive thought. That to you is a no no, because it would be like agreeing with the intrusive thought or showing that you like the intrusive thought. By thinking that you are giving much to much importance to the thoughts.

My advice is go ahead and do it despite having the intrusive thoughts. If you get intrusive thoughts, try to sway your mind back to what you're doing. As best you can, ignore the thoughts. Do not ruminate about whether you agree with the thoughts or like the thoughts. Pleasuring or having an orgasm while having an intrusive thought doesn't mean anything. Nothing at all.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

This has been my problem, too. I haven't masturbated in god knows how long because I'm afraid the thoughts will pop up. Also, my husband and I now have sex only about once a month.... and I'm not even sure we did it last month at all.... It is hard for me to get excited about sex because the thoughts cause me so much stress and disgust. I remember one time we had sex and the thoughts were so bad that I just had to stop. Obviously, it was a horrible experience and so hurtful for both my husband and I.

My fear is that if I get a groinal response due to an intrusive thought and it feels at all like any kind of arousal then I don't want to have sex anytime afterwards because then I will think that the initial reason I wanted to have sex was because of the groinal response caused by the intrusive thought. And then I will feel disgusting and like a horrible person.

Today, I have felt like I wanted to have sex with my husband. I have felt ''aroused'' on and off today... and I know my husband wants to have sex, too. However, I am obsessing over if I feel aroused today because of the fact that I have been having the POCD thoughts or if I just generally, naturally desire to have sex with my husband. I mean, I can never be ''naturally turned on'' without assuming that it has something to do with the thoughts. How do I cope with that?

Edited December 11, 2014 by HeadAboveWater

[Guest legend]

You carry on head. Re having sex

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

You carry on head. Re having sex

But I'm so scared to have sex after having the thoughts all day and groinal responses all day. This ruins everything!

[Guest lizinlondon]

Yes but to get over OCD you expose yourself to these thoughts by having sex, have it as much as you want. Eventually your brain will stop sending out these false messages. You retrain your brain to not send out these thoughts while having sex. The more to pay attention to them, the more you avoid sex, what you are doing is encouraging you brain to send more intrusive thoughts. So the potential solution, have sex with the thoughts, it will be difficult ay first but eventually your brain will learn that it does not have to send out these false signals, and the likelihood is that you will start to enjoy it again.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

But... what if I start to get confused if I am enjoying sex because of the thoughts? My OCD will definitely try to tell me that. It has before. And then I was even more disturbed and depressed.

[OCD_Guy_UK]

I'm a bit pot kettle here given my lack of action in any area of OCD atm, but I'd suggest putting yourself through it and ignoring every thought you get. Have enough sex and keep up ignoring the thoughts and OCD won't be able to control that aspect of your life.

[OCD_Guy_UK]

One thing I can guarantee; you will get those thoughts when having sex, whether you have sex now, next week, next month, or a year's time. Do you want to never have sex again or do you want to take the risk that it'll get better with time?

[Guest lizinlondon]

I don't have sexual obsessions thankfully, but I get loads of intrusive thoughts during sex. It is natural for the thoughts to come, it is that in OCD we put too much emphasis on them, and think they must mean something. If i get intrusive thoughts during sex, I don't pay attention to them, and they soon disappear.

[Guest Nikki79]

My problem is wondering in the past did I masturbate after thoughts and feelings huge guilt now cos I did. Its very depressing. I don't know exactly what happened.

[ocdlost]

ya i get it while i do sex, sometimes is annoying. the best way is to ignore the thoughts

[Guest Nikki79]

I can manage that mostly its the past stuff is besieging me.

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

My husband and I tried to have sex. And I was so overwhelmed. The thoughts/images of kids kept coming into my mind. I was trying to stay focused on my husband but it kept feeling like I had no desire for him but I did for the thoughts. I just broke down and started crying. I was bawling my eyes out and my husband was comforting me... Telling me he knows it's hard because of my OCD. But then I still kept getting images of sexual things with kids and it felt like I really was just more interested and attracted to that. Like I felt like I wasnt attracted to my husband at all or his naked body, it felt like nothing-like boring. I kept crying and feeling like the thoughts were true. I said, "I think I really am a pedo" and it felt true! Then I just totally broke down. How can it feel like it is true? How can it be that I don't feel attracted to my husband's naked body but to these thoughts? How is that possible when I am distressed and disgusted by this but yet it feels like it is more true than not!!!!????

[zeradin]

you can ignore the thoughts? thats willpower my friend. after a few years feeling really ashamed about not being able to have an intimite moment without random thoughts and images going on in my head and when asked during those intimate moments why im suddenly expressing a different expression and my obsessive need to tell the truth meaning i destroy any normal relationships.... I learned to go with it. I say what pops into my head as they happen, sometimes they can be hilarious, other times creepy. the odd time very disturbing. but i found if the person im being intimate with understands the thought for what it is and goes with the train of thought, that they are the most intimate moments i ever experience.

on masturbating, the thoughts happen and i try to steer them away from disturbing thoughts by having a comedy show playing in the back ground so any random thoughts are more likely to be a quirky situation you imagine and can giggle at.

[Symps07]

Maybe set aside a certain time of day to masturbate. Treat it like a therapy session. Picture what you want to masturbate to, or watch something. If the thoughts come into your head, push them to one side & concentrate on your original thought/video.