Some advice please guys.

[Ascend]

On Thursday night I got drunk. I'm on a high dosage of Sertraline and I don't have the best track record for drinking hence why I haven't touched alcohol in about two years.

My work buddies convinced me to come out and I said to myself I would only have two beers and definitely wouldn't be mixing at all. Eight hours later I regain conscious awareness in a nearby woodland, completely drenched through to my skin and confused. Some guy gave me a life home and I slept most of yesterday.

I don't know whether I got spiked or whether I just had far too much to drink but this isn't the first time I've had a blackout, I should have really known better from my attempts to 'casually' drink in the past.

I tried to kiss my ex-girlfriend and made a complete idiot of myself, that's the last thing I remember. I'm considering heading down to where she works just to apologise for my actions but I'm not sure whether this is the best course of action to take. Part of me is doing it for reassurance because my mind is literally having a field day with all the horrendous things I could have done in those eight hours but another part of me is wanting to do it because I respect this girl and I genuinely feel awful about what happened.

Yes I was stupid to drink that much, yes I should take responsibility for my own actions. I'm incredibly scared right now, I feel like I did two years ago...

[Symps07]

Everybody makes mistakes! It's just your OCD is trying to make them a bigger problem than they are.

If you are generally worried about whether your drink was spiked then I would recommend going to the hospital, as for the stuff regarding you ex & your work mates, has anyone actually said anything to you? Are there any physical signs that you did anything out of character? If not, I would try not to worry, you could always text someone you were out with who you trusted & ask them what happened, but I wouldn't go storming round to your ex's place of work on the off chance you might have offended her, when the chances are it's your OCD making you feel this way.

[Guest Orwell1984]

If I were you, I would not go to where she works (because that is def over the top) but I would send her a message saying sorry for behaving like that. Say to her that you cannot remember 8hrs and woke up in a woodland. She will most likely be sympathetic! Say to her you think your drink was spiked. Either it was spiked or it was the sertraline having a bad effect wit alcohol. I hope you're ok. Lucky you didn't get hypothermia! It might be good to talk to you workmates because maybe one of them spiked your drink for a laugh or could recount details from the night. But once you get the details there willl still be gaps so you will not know the whole story. In my opinion I think your drink was spiked.

[Yrrow]

I was recently talking to someone on an SSRI who experienced a short blackout after 3 beers, so I suppose it is possible to experience some memory loss. However, to be out for 8 hours seems a bit extreme. I would consider getting checked out if you think there is a possibility your drink was spiked. If your hangover is worse than anything you have experienced or you are feeling extra dizzy, you might consider getting checked out. Did any of the people you were with have similar problems?

Could you call or email the girl instead of dropping by? This may be better than actually going there. That is, if you really think you owe her an apology and it's not fueled by reassurance seeking. I know once I get into the cycle of asking for reassurance, it is hard to break. You may be less likely to ask a bunch of questions if you write a note or make a call.

I would think your work buddies would mention the situation to you if they felt there was a true cause for concern, but I don't know how close of friends they are. You could perhaps bring it up with them once as long as you don't think this would lead you down the route of ruminating and reassurance seeking.

Anyhow, sorry you are having a hard time. I have been there before. It sucks not to be able to let loose and enjoy yourself. Please don't beat yourself up over it, though.

[Guest ADD]

Sometimes reassurance helps when there is total lack of knowledge. It's only bad if you don't accept the answer and continue questioning. The answers you get should be enough to settle it and then leave it alone from there. Even if you don't like the answers, you could leave it in the past and let it go, simply learn what not to repeat in the future, nothing more.

[Ascend]

I agree. My work friends went home so I can't ask them what happened.

I decided not to go visit her at work for now.

[taurean]

I don't believe it is advisable to drink much alcohol with the SSRI so it doesn't surprise me what happened.

I would suggest you learn that from this and make sure your friends understand that position.

Edited December 20, 2014 by taurean

[Guest Gale1982]

Hey, Ascend.

I know this is very traumatising for you. I found myself in a similar position earlier in the year.

Chances are you probably drank way more than you remember drinking. These impromptu two-beer drinking sessions have a tendency to get out of hand really quickly.

The whole thing with your ex and wanting to contact her to "check", is a compulsion. Don't do it. Like you said, you probably made a fool of yourself and there's nothing you can do about it now. Just let the hangover do its thing, it'll pass, it always does

Ps, if it makes you feel any better...Last nye, I went out with my work for the end of year show. I was very anxious and they didn't know about my OCD, so I drank...a lot. I came on to a woman and pretended that I was a millionaire. I went to kiss her and her husband caught me. He happened to be a well built, 6 foot transvestite wearing a purple sequin dress (I live in Brighton). He then proceeded to beat me over the head with his handbag in front of my colleges. It gets worse but I'll spare you the details. Take this as just a stumble, my friend. Move on

[PolarBear]

Apologizing would be an okay thing to do. Trying to figure out what happened during the missing time period could turn into a compulsion, so watch out for that.

[Ascend]

I feel so incredibly depressed, I haven't felt this low in so long. I can't snap myself out of it.

I fear alcohol will be the death of me.

[Guest Gale1982]

I fear alcohol will be the death of me.

Which is precisely why you feel so awful. Not drinking isn't necessarily the answer to your problems. Your problems are OCD related. You're having an OCD reaction to something that most people experience at some point in their lives. Treat this reaction like another OCD reaction. You'll get through this

[Ascend]

Thanks for the help Gale, your story gave me a good laugh too.

Hopefully will begin to feel a bit better tomorrow, I think the alcohol is still bringing me down.

[Caramoole]

I'm more concerned about the potentially dangerous situation you were in for your own safety. Write it off as a Christmas excess but learn something from it that perhaps the medication & excessive alcohol aren't a good combination.

As for the ex......people all do daft stuff at Christmas....if you were out of order, send a brief text to apologise and then leave it at that. Let a few days pass....avoid trying to think the evening through and move on. You'll be okay

[Ascend]

I suppose it's not uncommon for us sufferers to not care about our own safety and rather magnify everyone else's.

However I was in real danger, if it passed out and threw up I might have not woken up. Not to mention being out on a winters evening in the pouring rain.

[Caramoole]

However I was in real danger, if it passed out and threw up I might have not woken up. Not to mention being out on a winters evening in the pouring rain.

Exactly

But you can't change that now and you're okay. What happened with your friends, why weren't you all looking out for each other?

[Guest Orwell1984]

Flush your system with lots of water and veg/fruit stuff for next day. Get whatever u were spiked with out of your system. Your OCD will calm down most likely and mood will lift for sure with the nutrients in the food cleanses. Get out and run for distraction & endorphins too in next few days. Beat it at its own game before it gets too much of a foothold.

Also those work mates aren't real friends by the looks of things. That's rough how no one stuck with you. Suppose it's better knowing they're not dependable. Hope you feel better soon. For now, distraction to the hilt!

Edited December 21, 2014 by Orwell1984

[Guest Gale1982]

Hey Ascend, hope you're feeling a bit better

[Guest Tricia]

On Thursday night I got drunk. I'm on a high dosage of Sertraline and I don't have the best track record for drinking hence why I haven't touched alcohol in about two years.

Of all the SSRIs, sertraline and fluvoxamine are the worst to take with alcohol.

[gingerbreadgirl]

I've been in this kind of situation quite a few times in my younger days. At risk of giving reassurance, this kind of situation is very common and doesn't make you a bad person - just a fallible human. You'll feel better when some time has gone by and hopefully learned a good lesson look after yourself in the meantime and try not to over think.

[Guest Saz]

Hi Josh

At the risk of sounding like a complete hypocrite-try not to over think it. What I would do if it were me is just ask the guys who you were with if everything was ok and maybe how come they left you and leave it at that. I think this is a reasonable and sensible thing to do. Then try not to worry any more.

I can relate to the whole worrying if I was spiked thing and I still worry now but perhaps it may have been the sertraline. I'm on sertraline and I can still manage to have a drink but I probably don't drink loads and im on a medium dose.

What you need to do is apply all the good advice that you have given me and don't let this ruin your xmas or put you off drinking, like gingerbread said plenty have people have been in this situation, the difference is we care and worry too much and can't stand the thought of doing anything wrong or upsetting people.

I really and truly understand how you feel josh x

[taurean]

That is sound advice from Sarah Josh.

From me, i would simply say how would one of your mate's react in the same position? They would probably just put it down to experience and forget it.

It's the OCD that kicks in to make a problem out of it. AS it tendss to do, regrettably. But seeing it that way is good i think.

[Guest Saz]

Just to add, I had a few drinks on Saturday and felt a bit rough yesterday. I was 'monitoring' my thoughts and I noticed that a fair few horrible ones crept in, such as, imagine if I kissed my friends boyfriend or worse but I was somehow able to shrug these off as complete nonsense before they got out of hand. It's like we have to check and test ourselves imagining ourselves in terrible situations and I have no idea why we do this, again I can only presume that we just need to make sure we didn't upset anyone, we need to be absolutely sure as it cripples us.

How are you feeling? What did the guys in work say? x

[Ascend]

My work friends said I seemed in a good mood and they couldn't find me when they left the bar to go home.

I'm feeling a little bit better today.

[Guest Saz]

Glad your feeling a little better x