Bathroom anxiety :'( ladies I need your advice

[Guest lauren415]

I don't know is this is so much OCD but definitely having anxiety about the whole situation. So right now I have a UTI and I think it's because I wasn't wiping well enough or something. I'm female and I've been reading you're supposed to wipe front to back not back to front. Well I've been trying it that way and never felt clean enough doing it that way. So now I'm wondering if I got the UTI from not cleaning myself well enough...but then again if I wipe the other way (back to front) I could still risk another infection. I never had a UTI until now and I don't know if it's because I wiped front to back, back to front or just wiped too hard/too much that I irritated the area. I have anxiety when I go to the bathroom now because I don't know what to do anymore this is so embarrassing and I can't talk to anyone about it. Do you think I should just go back to doing it my old way or keep practicing front to back? Do any of you ladies have any wiping advice out there? I'm staying home from work today and letting the antibiotic get into my system (and of course now I'm scared I'm gonna get a YI so I've been chowing down on yogurt). I feel like a 5 year old

[Guest lauren415]

Also I haven't had intercouse with my husband for over a month because I keep having too many problems in that area so I know that didn't cause it

Edited June 30, 2015 by lauren415

[Gemma7]

UTI's are common and there is no way of knowing how you got one. You are way overthinking how to wipe because you are so worried about getting an infection. Your need to be dry after going to the toilet is pointless it really doesn't matter and over wiping wont help and is clearly irritating the area a great deal.

Try to see the connection between you compulsing and the fear and anxiety getting stronger. Have you seen a therapist? Do you know how to apply cbt and ERP to this problem? You need to take back control from ocd and tell it you dont care if you are wet, you dont care how you wipe, you dont care if you get an infection. These steps are hard but necessary.

[Guest lauren415]

Yeah I have a psychiatrist...not really a therapist. I am supposed to be going back on meds soon which should help. My doctor was gonna put me on cymbalta but it was too expensive so I'm just going to go back on Prozac which helped a lot with my OCD. It's just a matter of the doctor calling it in is all...

[Gemma7]

Perhaps you should look into seeing a therapist as medication works best in conjunction with cbt to treat ocd. Cbt offers us the strategies needed to overcome ocd in all its different guises and would be ideal at helping you tackle this problem with going to the toilet.

I really feel for you it is so hard when we are in the grip of anxiety.

[Guest lauren415]

Yeah, the problem is I can't afford a therapist right now. But the medication will help a lot...my OCD was almost non existent when I was on it. So I am just waiting on a response from my doctor, I emailed her this morning. I am trying to just rest since I stayed home from work today but my mind is riddled with anxiety and I have the shakes from my UTI. My husband just went to go get back antibiotic so hopefully I'll start feeling better soon after that. But I did figure the reason I haven't felt as clean the past few days is because I am leaking urine from my UTI. I was getting scared I was losing control of my bladder or something...

I am just freaking out about going on this antibiotic because they usually give me yeast infections. However I am on a probiotic now and that might help counteract it, plus I'm eating lots of yogurt. And now I'm scared too that my UTI is caused by a lost tampon or something. The anxiety just won't go away! I feel like I made myself sick just by being afraid of all these things.

I am also crying because one of my co workers is making me feel guilty for staying home...she said she had to reschedule her hair appt. I wish she would understand that I am sick (mentally and physically). No one knows what I am going through that's why I love being able to come here and vent. Thanks for all your advice and replying to all my posts I appreciate it so much.

Edited June 30, 2015 by lauren415

[Gemma7]

Oh I see about the therapist. Have you considered self help books. I really like 'break free from ocd' but there are loads of others. I hope you feel better soon and the medication helps take care :-)

[Guest lauren415]

Thank you. I have a self help book somewhere but I recently moved so all of my books are packed away and I don't have the strength to dig through there. I just need rest for now...

[Guest lauren415]

Anyone else have any advice? I'm trying to rest and relax and having hard time...

[Guest Liz whiz]

I know it's so hard to rest when you have all the anxiety symptoms...I think UTI can cause anxiety as well so that probably sparked off all these thoughts.

You need to rest now so have you got any herbal teas that can calm you at the moment?

Today is my first day back on Prozac after relapse too.

[Guest lauren415]

No I don't have any tea but it's ok...I haven't gotten to sleep but I've been dozing off and on between crying spells

[Guest lauren415]

And UTI didn't spark the thoughts it was actually the fear of getting one that did. And then of course I got one so I feel like I made myself sick...

[Guest lauren415]

And husband and I just went over budget for month and we are down to basically nothing after bills are paid...I just want to die :'(