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Genuinely Scared - please help.


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I've not really posted anything like this before, but this is the second time something like this has happened. I think it's OCD kicking up a fuss. Basically, I've found watching porn a good method of getting rid of that sexual desire if you know what I mean and around last May, I had severe anxiety about 'is porn ruining me'. It all stemmed from just thinking that question. So, I stopped watching porn for 9 WEEKS, I still masturbated but just not to porn, but after the 8/9 weeks, I got back into it again, I was happy and I didn't see any problem. But within the last two days, the anxiety has come back.

The first time I watched porn wasn't alone, I was with my sister and her friend and they were two years older than me, so my sisters friend thought "let's watch porn" because she was curious. I think I then went off to do it myself but because I was young, it had no affect on me so I only did it the once. Then people from school began talking about doing it, so I did it (which was ages ago). When I stopped doing it in May, I kept thinking about the things I saw, the names I learned and it didn't really help. When I got back into it, I went in with the "it's my personal choice, my friends all do it and it's an easy release." and I'm not sure why I'm suddenly worrying about this again, it's not had an obvious effect on my life, I'm NOTHING like the people at school who have already engaged in mild sexual acts and I don't plan to yet. You get the idea of what the OCD anxiety does to me, and that's what I think this is.

I merely do it because it takes up less time than masturbating with nothing. But I (mistakenly) read a scientific article which stated something like "most teenage boys do it, it's not normal but it's not abnormal".

In all honesty, it's great and I don't want to stop, but I just want to be happy, but when I took the break before, I wasn't happy.

Is there anyone who had any advice? If you don't want to comment them here, message me please?

Edited by Benster
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I think you're a normal teen boy doing normal teen boy things. You're growing up in an age where porn is easily accessible. Perhaps moderation is the key. Don't go overboard but do try to just accept it for what it is and not dwell in such things.

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Thank you - but when this happened before and I watched it, I just felt guilty every time I did it. I know that porn isn't realistic, it's scripted and there's no romantic connection, and I understand about contraception (well, what I need to know for my age, not that I'd need it yet). Despite seeing some graphical stuff, whenever I have a wet dream or anything, it's always what you would consider normal, mild stuff that you only hear about at school. But I think what is triggering OCD the most is when you read about "porn is shaping the brain so in the future, people who watch will become sex addicts" which I'm unsure if is true, but if I'm at an age where I can stop that from happening, eg 13-20, I will jump at the chance to do.

But if I do try to "help myself" by stopping, like before, something triggers thoughts that remind me of names of people, companies, or what I've seen, which is what drew me back before, despite the fact I had a filter on, which I think I will be putting back on, so there's a wall between me and it.

Thanks for the advice, I'll try both :)

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I guess want I want to say, Benster is don't over think this. It's normal in this day and age for teens to watch porn. It's almost a given. Like anything else, you shouldn't be doing it all the time but if you do it, no biggie. Try not to analyze your behavior and figure out what it means. Enjoy it, then it's done and you get onto something else.

I don't know if I'm making any sense or not. :p

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  • 1 month later...

Hey Benster,

I'm a 33 year-old male, this doesn't make me the oracle on masturbation, I'm much more a devotee than a spokesperson! I completely agree with PolarBear on this Dude. It's not abnormal, in fact I think that by your age many of your peers, male and female, will be doing a great deal of it and it will prepare you for the next stage of your emotional sexual development, which will most likely be a sexual relationship with another person. To have such a relationship you really have to be quite adept at knowing what you like and feeling comfortable with who you are and knowing yourself intimately means that you will be able to empathise with a partner's sexual needs and urges.

You feel at ease with the porn that you watch, you've stated that it's all 'normal stuff'. As long as this outlet doesn't prove itself any kind of hindrance in your life, then you're on the right track. You are a bright lad and that you realise that whilst Porn can be very titillating, it's a show for the camera and that in real life, sex is very rarely like what you will see in porn, still very enjoyable, probably more so, in fact, but different all the same.

I re-iterate that you are clearly a intelligent young man and no-one should be telling you that masturbation is anything but natural and aids in your development. Good luck in the future Benster, you're doing just fine.

Stu,.

Edited by ThreeTimesGuy
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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey :)

Sorry I didn't reply, I haven't logged in since posting this but I just want to thank you both for the advice, I'm happy to say I'm over this now, and I think that hearing that from an adult, instead of mates who also watch, makes it seem like a very much so lesser problem.

Thankyou :)

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