Guest Karla Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I have recently been diagnosed with ocd and I'm going through cbt to help me with my intrusive thoughts and hair pilling and scratching ... But today I feel like a fraud had a good day until now and all the thoughts in my head are telling me I'm not ocd your mad .. U don't seem ocd .. Making me doubt myself and who I am can't get the thought out my head I'm crying as I type I feel sick I'm so resisting the urge not to pull ive tried to post online but then I feel I will be judged and I came out to my friends and family who probably knew anyway but I feel like they think I am a fraud to they probably don't but I can't help but feel this .. Sorry if I seem like I'm rambling but I have no where to go but deep in my thoughts but writing it it's taking me furthur in .. I'm trying my hardest to tell my self it's my ocd it's my ocd it's my ocd but it's not making me feel better Link to comment
PolarBear Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Karla, welcome to the forum. You are not alone. OCD is a mindless bully that can make you doubt everything. Even when a professional tells you that you have OCD, the OCD can kick in and try to convince you that you do not. It's a terrible disorder. My advice to you, at this time, is to become educated about OCD. Learn what obsessions and compulsions are and how they manifest. Then look at your own situation and begin to pick out the obsessions and compulsions. You'll soon realize that you do have OCD. You'll see you have all the symptoms. Knowledge is power. But you have to eventually go beyond the knowledge and start implementing a sound strategy to deal with your disorder. Start with knowledge and looking at your own situation. Take care. Link to comment
Guest Karla Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement , it's nice to know I can come to a safe place and be the most irrational person and not be judge for it but that still scares me anyway cos I think everyone is judging me and making sure I am ocd .. I but can't help but think everyone thinks I'm a fraud including myself It's so hard , in the past 10 weeks I've had more melt downs than I have in Years , do you think the cbt is heightening everything and making more aware... Does cbt get worse before it gets better cos , is it because I'm confronting my self head on and it feels like Its a battle I'm constantly losing .., logic v ocd ... .... Ocd wins I'v Link to comment
PolarBear Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 There are several reasons why your OCD could be getting worse. It does tend to do that for some people over time. Stress makes OCD worse. You are likely performing compulsions, which tends to reinforce the obsessions, making the thoughts and doubts show up more frequently and more alarming. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the gold standard treatment for OCD. It teaches you to think differently and behave differently (the latter involving not performing compulsions). You can get to a better place with your OCD. Link to comment
Guest Karla Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 thank you rrelly thank you i know I'm just having a moment 'Coming out ' to my family is probably triggered the thoughts I know I'm ocd It's crippling me tonight but what I'm going to do is I'm going to turn on my music and work myself through it ,, I just feel so alone at times and don't know where to go I'm scared cbt is coming to end soon that's scares the **** out of me I'm being dong so well with my scratching and pulling and finding a new self soothing method its the intrusive thoughts that are always killing me Thank you for helping me through it I felt so alone for so long ... And been so scared to reach out with out feeling like I'm a fraud or being Link to comment
PolarBear Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 You're welcome. We're here when you need us. Link to comment
Caramoole Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Thank you for helping me through it I felt so alone for so long .. Well you're not alone here, there are lot's of us who know exactly how you feel. to the forum Link to comment
Guest Karla Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 thank you again for helping me get a bit grounded this evening and not sending me into full blown panic and reminding me it's my ocd I did have a good cry but it's one of my self soothing methods but I'm aware my cbt it coming to end and I'm hoping this is the pace I can work with in my moments ,,,, thank you for being so welcoming ....xx Link to comment
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