Difficult days

[ailo]

My moms having cancer again, my boyfriend and i broke up, and something happened, and I'm now afraid to even touch the floor, witch haven't been a problem in months.. and I'm so anxious, and i had a lot of crying days, and just feel like i never wanna leave bed again. Its just too exhausting to live. This is a living nightmare

I shared on a blog an post about ocd.. i felt it was good written. i wrote for hours, admitting I have ocd, some facts and some examples.. I just sendt it to a few persons on Facebook, to see the responses.. 2 at first.. one of them didn't know i had ocd.. but he was negative.. and thought he had "a little ocd" as he said.. and he wrote lot of stuff like "you're wrong".. i get anxious when its messy I did check the oven before.."

And he thought i should be careful to write things like that of myself (i didn't tell my own rituals, and personal stuff)

and that i was to negative... and like "you should just be more positive,," And trust me; my post was NOT negative, THIS is negative.. Hes comment just made my cry, and i deleted my post on the blog. My point in it was to raise awareness of what ocd really IS. and to make it easier to talk about and not let it be the secret illness..

But I'm not strong enough for fighting against peoples strong opinions..

I had an appointment this weekend. i didn't came. but i did say I'm not coming either.. Its not like me.. i just want to log of.. and say in bed, and lock the world out.. Whats happening to me?

[ailo]

I had an appointment like a course for the weekend! That wasn't clear. today, saturday and sunday.. but i dont even award it i came.. I'm tired of making up excuses.. none understands ocd

[gingerbreadgirl]

I'm so sorry to hear thing are so difficult for you at the moment. You have a lot on your plate to deal with at the moment. I think you were really brave to write a blog post on OCD - people's opinions on that don't matter at all, they just don't understand.

Be kind to yourself, try and do a few things you enjoy if you can - even if watching a box set or reading a good book or something. Take care xxx

[Cub]

Hello

Sorry that you're not doing very well right now. People who say that 'you need to be a little more positive' do not understand what it's like to struggle with this stuff. I'm so sorry you had someone say that to you. You've been through a lot of stress, so that may be part of the problem. It's brilliant though, that you chose to write about it and share your story. You deserve to be commended.

Don't mind the people who don't understand. They're all idiots. It's okay to not be happy and you don't need to be positive just because someone else says so.

C x

[ailo]

Thank up both!

I just saw something who made my ocd scream that i have to shower again! Im so anxious today that i want to scream !

I wish ocd was easier for people to understand. even if i try to explain as good as i can, they dont seem to get it. And a lot of people gets so frustrated that they LEAVE me or dont answer if i mention ocd or ONE ocd trigger comes in daylight.. and that hurts so much. and makes it hard to be with all this people. and why do they get angry if i show i have ocd.. cause when they couldt notice for an hour, i think i did a good job, being "normal" and work against my ocd.

And anyway I have 1000 ocd stuff at home.. so its not like i go ten steps back showing i have ocd.. I think its opposite.. when none want to talk about my ocd, and i have to hide it.. it gets really bad at home.. and i dont tell anyone.. and I'm afraid that it just "stops" for me one day