Jump to content

Haven't been on for a while I was doing so well....


Guest RiHa

Recommended Posts

So I'd been feeling slightly better recently the thoughts weren't there as often and I could distract myself away from them more easily. That was until today, my thoughts have completely turned now and now I keep having the irrational thought that my boyfriend is a paedophile!!! My niece is staying with us in a couple of weeks and she is sleeping on the floor in our room. Even though he has met her and I know he wouldn't so anything it's the first time she's stayed round while he has been there. My thoughts have been going crazy because I genuinely worried about if he tried to do something to her. Like I know he wouldn't but my mind keeps saying different. I don't know if this is my ocd or not but it's making me feel sick thinking about it. Like I love him and trust him with all my heart but not this thought is making me think oh god what if he is one :/ x

Link to comment

what i learnt in cbt was looking at evidence, what evidence can you finds that he might be a paedophile and what evidence can you find that hes not and hes a caring nice person and wouldnt do such a thing, write all of this down and also right down all of the lovely things he has done for and others and all of the awful things he has done, this will help you rationalise the horrible thoughts that hes a paedophile, it worked quite well for my in cbt, it deffo sounds like ocd to me hun and you need to treat the thoughts the exact same way you have been treating the other thoughts, ocd is sneaky and as you have been doing so well and gained more self confidence its switched on to someone else wanting to harm others and you have less control over what others do so its a perfect opportunity for ocd to rear its ugly head xx

Link to comment

Hi Riha

Vintage Girl is spot on. The latest CBT uses 2 theories A is belief in the OCD thought, B is the rational response to show that it is OCD and a falsehood.

It worked for her (and me too).

And yes mummy is right - OCD seeks to turn on their head the things most dear to us, presenting the opposite view as true ( but in reality it's a falsehood) and therefore triggering enormous doubt and distress.

Let the CBT method "out" the OCD then, yes, don't engage with it just label it as OCD and expect normal behaviour from your boyfriend.

If the thoughts persist, calmly attribute them to OCD and engage in a fulfilling and involved beneficial distraction.

Best wishes

Roy

Link to comment

Hey everyone thank you for your replies. I cant believe this has turned around and is now on him it's making me feel sick. I think as well cause he has only met my niece a couple of times since I've been with him I'm really wary. I found myself googling traits of a paedophile!! Honestly don't know why I did that cause it's made me worse. There was one trait where it said they didn't have many friends and that they were always charming and complimentary. Well he is very charming but I think thats cause he has a good heart but no my ocd is telling me otherwise, as for the friend one I can kind of brush that one out of my head cause I don't have a lot of friends in my circle neither does my sister but that doesn't mean we are one. I just wish I hadn't bloody googled that now as it has put s many thoughts in my head :/ x

Link to comment

Just an update, I'm feeling a bit better today. The thoughts are still there a bit but it helped talking to my mum and my boyfriend. At first he was shocked but completely understood that it was my ocd. The only thing now is that the ocd has latched on to the idea that I've told him I thought he was one so if he was he would try and be more discreet now. But obviously I know he isn't one and I can brush the thoughts away a bit easier. But it's still that one lurking x

Link to comment

Hi Riha

There are I think three especially good things coming out of your experiences on this thread.

One, you've realised that going searching for proof just makes things worse and allows OCD scope to wreak more havoc.

And two its rather pathetic attempt to continue the charade - the falsehood - that he might be a paedophile has "outed" the OCD very clearly for you. As you can now see the OCD revealed, now take that further step and ignore OCD tormenting you for absolute certainty - you can now see that is a compulsive rumination.

Three you explained it to your boyfriend - I never thought you would get to do that, that is brilliant.

Now, resist the compulsion to ruminate or to seek reassurance, get seriously distracted to break the link to distress, and accept a degree of uncertainty.

Then yoou will make further progress.

I am very proud of what you have achieved here in dealing with this setback.

Best wishes

Roy

Link to comment

well done !!! I did the same thing looking for characteristics, it was the worst thing i could of done . you can mould anyone into a character if you try. the hole got so much deeper ! I NEVER research now unless its for my benefit not for reassurance. i learnt the hard way.

I also told my partner he was a little upset but i made it clear it was my ocd . i think its best to have an honest relationship i tell my husband everything.

you need to distract yourself now and break the pattern

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Hello guys apologies for the late reply my internet has been rather awful these past few weeks. Thank you all for your kind words it means an awful lot. I've been having good and bad days. This weeks been a pretty awful one. My boyfriend has had his phone switched off all week and has only just replied to one of my messages now, but it was really short instead of the normal ones he sends. So that had had me thinking he has run off with another woman! Crazy I know, but that is how my mind likes to play. I also had my niece round yesterday to sleep round and she shared my bed. I was a bit uneasy about it at first but then thought no I will be okay. Well I remember in the middle of the night I tapped her leg cause I was waking her up as she had decided that laying diagonally was a wise idea and I thought nothing of it until the morning. Then my mind started to play up and say that I had touched her, so I kept constantly trying to reassure myself by asking her if she was alright every 5 minutes which I realise is worse. But it's just because I was half a sleep and I don't remember much else, that is what makes me think oh god what if I did. Sorry for the huge rant, I've been bottling all this up for days :/ xx

Link to comment

Sorry to go on I just wonder if I need to up my dose of medication im on sertraline 100ml but im not sure if you can go any higher. Just wondered what other peoples experience was with them x

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...