Romance: light at the end of the tunnel

[Guest Enable]

Hi everyone,

Over the past couple of years I've generally harboured the feeling that something's been missing. As a single guy, while all my friends were married and starting families, I put off meet ups out of embarrassment for fear they would ask about my private life. Even at work, I feel quite embarrassed when colleagues ask me about holiday plans and alike - always having to say I went with friends or alone. Not great, because your standing in their eyes drops and they generally classify you as a 'loner'. The situation is rather self-fulfilling as people generally like to surround themselves with other successful people.

I just tried to push on with the things under my control to the best of my abilities. Leaving the things out of my control to one side. I won't lie - it has been getting more and more difficult and seemingly fruitless over time. Work is unfulfilling beyond words and the prospect of staying with the current employer in the present challenged job market is depressing to say the least. My boss is taking advantage of me (who's isn't) not least because I'm single. When I work overtime there's no appreciation that I am giving up my time for the good of the company. It's like my time is worth less than anyone else's. I've always worked hard all my life, and perhaps OCD set me on that course from the beginning, but now I'm just fed up of putting in all the dog work for someone else to take a nice, long holiday.

Last week, quite by chance, I met the most wonderful girl and wanted to share it with you all!! There was a real meeting of minds and it felt like this time might be for real. Normally I wouldn't talk about it for fear of 'jinxing' it but to heck with that on this occasion! We immediately struck it off - like old friends - and it could be the start of something meaningful and long-lasting. I haven't felt this way in, well, a very long time. There are OCD thoughts that I may "screw things up", but I think I can handle it.

I just grew so sick of being alone. Of course you can have friends, but people exclude you from things when you're single - like you're a sub-class of the human race. Toxic waste to be avoided. I can't tell you how many times I've been blown off by friends. I always take the initiative to arrange meet-ups, but they can't be bothered. Usually cancel or just don't reply (I hate it when people don't reply). I guess their theory goes: if you're single then why should I invest my time in you when nobody else is willing to. It affects you in the workplace, in life - everywhere whether you like it or not. The worst thing is when you start believing all the BS. When you loose respect for yourself. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did I'm sorry to say. And when it does, it sends out a subconscious message to all those around you that you're not worth spending time with.

I had a good friend at work who I would have a laugh with now and then, but he got re-located to the states and now it's just the occasional email.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that experience. If the above sounds familiar then don't give up, keep your head up and remember we're all in this together. Maybe you'll find inner happiness without a relationship (something that eluded me) or maybe one day you'll meet your soulmate who will help you change your outlook on life. Either way, there is light at the end of the tunnel and just keep going. Life throws up serendipitous surprises and they're worth waiting for. Just put yourself in a position to recognise and receive them and the rest will take care of itself. Trust me. I have been struggling alone through some thick and sticky mud for what feels like most of my life. If it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone.

enable

[Caramoole]

I'm really pleased for you Enable and hope things progress nicely, have fun you deserve it

Caramoole

[findingithard]

aww, this made me smile :-) I'm happy for you enable, hope this is the start of something long-lasting. good luck x

[Guest legend]