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Time to look in that mirror again


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Well it's been a month now since I last looked in the mirror and whilst I would just love to let it go much, much longer, I know from experience that it will make it worse when I do look if I let it go too long.I therefore think I will look on Wednesday morning and try to limit the time to no more that about 15 minutes if possible. I seem to be getting a little better at looking monthly though.Previously (until about 2 years ago ) I would have only looked about once every year or two, dependent on how long it would be before something triggered me to look again.Looking as often as once a month would have resulted in a great deal of constant depression.Now I deliberately force myself to look each month and I seem to be not too bad in the time well after I last looked and well before the next time.Actually looking still terrifies me though and the days after are pretty horrible. I'm supposed to use the mirror everyday to get shaved but I find that leaves me feeling far too depressed and anxious all the time. The last time I looked was on the morning of the ocd conference in Newcastle and the company of all those other people with problems really helped me with it.There's nothing worse than feeling you are the only one feeling depressed. One of the things that helps me more than anything else is the thought that there will be people to help if it gets too bad and the message at the conference was that we can make help available to anyone that needs it.One off my biggest fears is that one day someone will say "we've done everything for you and now you'll just have to live with it because we can't help you anymore"

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