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Hello all, I'm diagnosed with OCD/BDD, ortherexia. I'm ecstatic to know that there are other people out there who I can talk too regular on here. I'm 28 years old, I've had OCD since about the age of 10, this got worse through the years through primary, secondary school, I also had trouble at school with weight problems and lack of confidence. This then got bad enough for me too have too seek professional health because it was effecting my family and relationship badly.

I've not long been diagnosed with BDD, constantly looking in the mirror and obsessed with exercise. Between 600-700 sit ups and press ups daily but never satisfied with my body, especially the abdomen, chest lower back and side area, it's hell and it depresses me to the point where I'm now looking in the mirror negatively and enough to bring on panic attacks and refusing to go out unless needed.

I'm off work on the sick but I'm going back on a fazed come back to work.

I hope I haven't said too much in my first post and hope too hear from you all soon

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Hello mate, I was originally on a waiting list for CBT therapy but I couldn't and didn't want too wait that long until I was seen. I see a private therapist fortnightly who is using CBT and EMDR on me. This process starts on the 6th January so fingers crossed things will eventually change.

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No not now.I have had therapy last year but am on one of those waiting lists myself.I've been waiting about 3 months nearly now but I don't know how long the wait will be.You probably are doing the best thing going private as it is important to get treatment early I have heard with BDD.It's strange that the NHS has targets for waiting lists for physical things but they don't seem to bother with mental health things do they?What does EMDR stand for?That sounds interesting.I had CBT

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Hey Joshd! Great to see you on here!

I know the feeling of looking in the mirror and having a panic attack all to well! But your doing really well by starting to get help and by talking to people on here...everyone on here is so supportive :) Wow good luck with the start of the treatment on Monday...its scary, but definitely worth it :)

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Lovid, EMDR (

No not now.I have had therapy last year but am on one of those waiting lists myself.I've been waiting about 3 months nearly now but I don't know how long the wait will be.You probably are doing the best thing going private as it is important to get treatment early I have heard with BDD.It's strange that the NHS has targets for waiting lists for physical things but they don't seem to bother with mental health things do they?What does EMDR stand for?That sounds interesting.I had CBT

Eye movement desensitization reprocessing (EMDR)

I'm doing this and CBT mate. I was told I would be on the waiting list for at least six months but I just couldn't await that long. I think the NHS need too think long and hard about people with mental health as the waiting lists are ridiculously long, far too long for someone with mental health too wait anyway. My doctor is on the board for NHS doctors and is in the process of trying to get mental health waiting lists reduced.

If you get time read up on the EMDR pal, it is interesting as you say.

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Hey Joshd! Great to see you on here!

I know the feeling of looking in the mirror and having a panic attack all to well! But your doing really well by starting to get help and by talking to people on here...everyone on here is so supportive :) Wow good luck with the start of the treatment on Monday...its scary, but definitely worth it :)

Hello emmie and thanks for replying too my post with enthusiasm :)

Sometimes I'm relatively happy when looking in the mirror, specially after excessive muscle exercising, but most of the time it's traumatising for me and I feel I've let myself down most of the time.

I looked on the forum countless times, scanned what people talked about etc, how they spoke and realised I wanted too join simply because I so how free and easy everyone was with each other. I can't talk this freely and comfortable with friends or family and I'm glad I have others who will talk to me, tell me what there/your opinions of things are, discussing bad days, even good days!

My therapist told me that the best thing for me was CBT and EMDR but in fairness too him he did say it wouldn't be easy, which is what you also say. Nevertheless I'm sure I'll get through it and I shall let you know how scary I found it!

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Hi Joshd.I've just been told that I might have an appointment on Tuesday.it still has to be confirmed but if it's the case I will be joining you in the scary stuff.

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Hello lovid, I hope it you get the appointment and my fingers are crossed for you.

I so my therapist yesterday and I must admit I came out very unconvinced that I could be helped, we didn't get too any CBT or EMDR but basically I am being told the whole point of this is for me to eventually accept who I am.

It is through no fault of his own that I feel how I do, I want radical changes which right now I can't see a therapist helping me, hope I'm wrong. It won't help the fact that I was a mess before and when I was in there, awful thoughts and feelings, it's hard.

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That doesn't sound too helpful Josh.Is there going to be any CBT in the future?Do you look in the mirror excessively or avoid looking in the mirror.If you aren't satisfied with the treatment maybe you can check that the person you are seeing is suitably qualified.I know legend and Ashley are quite knowledgeable about who needs to be qualified in what.Also could you not get your name on the waiting list for NHS mental health treatment and just use the private therapy as a stopgap?

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His name is nick Crichton, excellent reputation by all accounts, has seen professional footballers and been named in articles by previous patients on how much his treatment works.

Yes, I'm also getting CBT treatment with the EMDR. I look in the mirror or a reflection every time I pass one and I often go out of my way too look also.

I'm still on the list but it's going too be a while I think. I pay fifty pound for each private session plus I can go through the NHS with this guy which I will mention too him on the 15th jan.

Have you had any look with your appointment for CBT?

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Hi Josh.Yea my CBT assessment is on tuesday at 9:30 and I have a lot of questions that they have given me to answer before I get there such as how have I been feeling in the last 2 weeks. I hope it's not too long for you.I only had to wait 3 months in the end so hopefully yours should start soon.It seems so unfair that you have to pay for treatment when everyone gets free treatment for physical problems.I'm glad that you are getting CBT though.That seems to be the thing that works best. My problem is avoidance.I can't look in the mirror because it makes me feel too bad.So I don't but then I feel bad anyway. Good luck on the 15th

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Brilliant that you've got your date mate, time to look forward? The very best of luck with it :)

I can't imagine not looking, it's just pure obsession now mate, as with you when I do I always want improvement so I'm never happy either, we can't win (at the moment).

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I used to look all the time but in the end I just couldn't bear it any more so then I tried not looking at all and that worked quite well for a bit until something happened that made me need to look and then my world collapses into another nightmare.The process just repeats for me.The best of luck to you too on the 15th.Let us know how you get on

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