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Hello

My son is 16 and I realise now has been suffering for years with OCD. Sadly like with many people this is getting worse, and I am now desperate to do things to try and help him. He flatly refuses to go to the doctors and won't go to any type of therapy so I am trying to find other ways of helping him. He goes to college and is currently doing exams which has set off more of his anxieties (one of his biggest is failure of his college course), so he is doing more rituals which he says he is afraid to stop as he is afraid it will result in him failing his course. The course is getting harder as he starts to progress and will I am told by his tutors be harder still next year, so I really want to try and get this under control before it gets any further out of hand.

He does rituals before bed, before getting up and these leave him tired and this morning almost missing his lift to college as he is getting later and later out of bed.

Can anyone suggest where to start to help him please? He has little social contact with anyone (even at college), but I have persuaded him to start a Facebook page to try and keep in touch with people, I am also wondering about some form of relaxation he can do, improving his nutrition (picky eater), and generally trying to improve his confidence, but I realise that these alone will not combat this.

Sorry for the long post but I just feel like I need to get it out there and hopefully find some solutions.

Many thanks

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Guest Jane_29

Greetings movingon,

So sorry to hear that your son's having these problems, and sorry to hear that you're in a position where you have to try and get help for him. It's not the easiest, so my sympathies.

I think you're dead right to try and get him some help before his course goes any further. It's really good that you understand OCD can worsen if left untreated; your son's lucky to have a mum that 'gets it'. :)

It is a bit worrying that he refuses to see a therapist. You're sure that it's OCD he's got? Are you able to get to the bottom of exactly why this is? I know when I was growing up, it was because our household had a really bad view of therapy. My father would only speak of it in very hushed tones, saying that the 'crazies' deserved to rot in the 'loony bin', and when my mother got postnatal OCD he basically told her to shut up and never mention it to anyone or he'd throw her out. So there was a very negative view of what therapy actually WAS coming from certain family members, and it wasn't until I'd been at university for several years that I actually went to a counsellor and then a psychiatrist and started getting the help I needed. Does he refuse to go because he thinks it won't help? Or because he's ashamed of being thought 'crazy'? Or (like a lot of us with OCD) because our fears feel very real and he's half-convinced he really will fail all his exams if a therapist makes him stop his rituals?

Can you speak to your son's college mental health services about this at all, if they have one? University and college mental health services have improved a lot in recent years. The waiting lists are also often shorter than the NHS ones. They won't be OCD specialists, but they might still be able to start your son off on the right types of therapies for OCD (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and a subtype of this called Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy - don't go in for any other ones, ok? Only these are properly proven to work on OCD. The wrong type of therapy can actually make OCD worse!).

Can you encourage him to go do exercise, at all? Playing sports or going out dancing or even jumping about to a Nintendo Wii, anything that gets the heart rate going, is known to have some effect on OCD.

The Facebook page idea might help, but I'm not certain it's the best approach. It's better than zero social contact, sure, but it's also not a very good substitute for face-to-face talking (plus some researchers are now suggesting that spending a lot of time of Facebook can make people more depressed and anxious: http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-anxiety-of-facebook/.However, this might not be an issue if he just uses it occassionally to stay in touch). It will be hard for him to make friends, especially if he already finds it difficult, whilst his OCD symptoms are still bad, so yes, it's good to encourage him to socialise, but it might not be top priority for now. Seeing friends can't really fix your OCD, it's just a bonus whilst you're recovering.

Improving his nutrition would probably help, just like you say. There's a couple of particular vitamins and minerals that are consistently found to be low in people with anxiety disorders, so some sufferers find that topping up your intake of these can help lessen OCD/anxiety symptoms. Vitamin B12, vitamin B6, vitamin D, calcium and magnesium are all capable of causing folks to get jittery and anxious if they get low in them. It can be difficult to get people who are having genuine difficulties with food to keep up a good intake of healthy foods (though of course it's always good to try and encourage them. But it's certainly not unusual for people with OCD to get worried about eating certain foods at some point.). You could try supplements, if he's open to it, or try Googling for which items he's ok eating that you could try keeping more of around the house and adding to meals, if you cook for him.

In particular, there was some new research just out in the last few days showing that OCD in children and young people goes along with oxidative damage to specific parts of the brain (I'd give you a link but the article is behind my university's paywall, unfortunately. It was in this March's edition of 'Psychiatry Research' journal). So if there's any foodstuffs or substances along the lines of a strong anti-oxidant you're able to encourage him to eat more of or take stirred into a drink, it could help his brain calm down a bit. It's worked brilliantly for me, my OCD symptoms were very severe but they are now down close to zero. Obviously, please, please, PLEASE do your own research and consult a medical professional if you are in any way unsure (this goes without saying! Do not take anything I say as read without thinking through your son's personal medical circumstances, any existing health conditions or allergies etc. Health advice from random strangers on the internet should always be investigated until you feel totally comfortable! :) ). But there's a few things you can find in the supermarket bakery section, online (Ebay) and health food shops like Holland and Barrett that might help, including ground-up flaxseeds, a substance called N-Acetyl-Cysteine (NAC), and a type of b-vitamin called inositol. Plus you can find lists online of top antioxidant foods (though I think you'd probably have to eat a LOT of them to see real impact on a severe case of OCD. Still, it can't hurt to eat more fruit, if possible, because it's generally good for the brain in lots of other ways.)

Ontop of this, you could try purchasing him a self-help book on OCD (my personal recommendation is 'Overcoming Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder' by David Veale, but others on these forums have other recommendations) and just leaving it in his room? He might pick it up. And he might be secretly relieved at some physical evidence that his problem's being taken seriously. You know best what kind of tone would appeal to your own son - some of the OCD books out there are more like a trendy story/biography (David Adams 'The Man Who Couldn't Stop' or Rose Bretecher's 'Pure'), others are more hippy-ish and spiritual (Mindfulness OCD Workbook), others are very sciency. There's even fiction stories aimed at teenagers about characters with OCD, if you want to try and open up the topic with him indirectly (https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/ocd ). If he's not much of a reader, there's also a lot of short videos about OCD on Youtube. Watching through some of them, if you can get him to, might help him feel less alone.

I don't know that there's any 'one' right answer to your son's issues, but you might be able to chip away at his resistance to getting help, if you're patient. Good luck to you, I do hope things feel better soon (I, too, am sorry for the long post :p ...)

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Thank you Jane for taking the time to reply and for giving me so much information - I really appreciate it.

Today was a really bad day for him. He is so anxious and stressed that the OCD is in overdrive. He doesn't want therapy because he says he feels ashamed of the person he is and he also doesn't want to be told to stop the rituals because he thinks they have got him through his exams so far.

I hoped that Facebook would help him to reconnect with people he knew from school as he has become socially isolated as he rarely wants to go out other than to college and he hasn't really made friends there.

He has a couple of weeks off college for Easter starting next week so I am hoping to get him out of the house even if it's to walk the dog (I hadn't given much though to exercise helping him, so thank you for that suggestion too).

I think you are right it is going to be a case of keep chipping away and hope a combination of things help.

Thanks again

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest angelinme3

hello. Im brand new to this forum and I have a lot to release here. I have been very frustrated. i live with an OCD sufferer. he is 30 years old and iver been with him for 5 years now and it hasnt been such a progression with him and his OCD symptoms until recently. He is late for everything. He makes everyone else involved late. I know its not his fault. Its so hard because he admits he has OCD but doesnt think its a problem and thinks he does not need nor does he want any help for that matter. His hands are becoming excoriated from washing all the time. He just thinks its excema hes had for years and lotion will do the trick. I know i cannot force or change someone. I cant make him willing . I want to be sure im not enabling him..what does that look like ? Just so i know. I also want to keep my sanity.

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Hi

I feel your pain. My son is just the same - late for everything, constantly washing his hands, and won't seek help. Since I first posted he has made no progress at all and is exhausted with the all the rituals he does before bed which makes him late for bed. This week has been awful as he has exams at college and this has made him worse than usual. I don't know the answers to your questions about enabling - sorry but I am sure someone on here will know and help you.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest trev2819

Hi moving on,

I've been battling my own OCD since 2009. I've had one 12 week course as an outpatient and 4-5 months as an inpatient. I've only been in a relationship with my boyfriend (my first ever) about 3.5 months. Prior to that i have lived independantly and with my parents (from march 2011 to september 2014 ..... and i'm 35 now) and myh older brother still lives with them (having severe OCD and bi-polar) so I understand it from both your perspectives .... as crazy as it sounds ..... it was the reason I decided never to move back with my parents again, i never want to put them through that hell again.

You're right to encourage your son to see someone as although it may well be very stressful at first the main thing to remember is that a therapist isn't there to do therapy TO him ....their job is to support, come alongside and work WITH him. In my experience they start with asking lots of questions to find out the main things that cause you anxiety, then help you dig down and find out what it is you're really scared of and how likely you believe it will happen if you don't do what the OCD says you have to. From there you might look at different perspectives and how people without OCD might view the same situation. It's only after that, that TOGETHER the therapist and you decide what the easiest fear to tackle first is and then how you're going to do it. Remembering that they're only there to encourage and make suggestions, not force you to do anything you really aren't ready to handle.

Whilst I may have oversimplified the process, the point is they're there to help so the sooner he gets in the system the sooner the stress and pressure will be reduced.

Also, since the wait for therapy can be very long (depending on local provision) the doctor will be able to start him on anti-anxiety medication. Though, whilst I don't want to frighten you, it may take a few trys to get the right meds that don't have unbearable side effects.....then again he may be one of the luckier people who's body takes to the first tried with ease.

You may also want to see if there is a local support group (looking through the main website or OCD Action's website). Though it would be good to encourage him to do that himself as it may help him feel more in control, rather than helpless/useless. The important thing is to strike a balance between encouraging him to make contacts/find info himself and doing the things he can't manage at the moment for himself.

Hope that's been of some help, let me know if you or he want to chat further on here or I don't mind chatting via Facebook messenger as i check that more often and might be able to chat live.

Best Regards,

Trevor

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Guest trev2819

Hi angelinme3,

As i said to "movingon" I can appreciate things, to a degree, from both your perspectives.

I think you're right to continue encouraging your partner to see someone, although the frequency and manner you do that may have to be adapted according to his personality type. How do you normally persuade him to do things he's less keen on?

So far as enabling goes it's very subjective and don't know that I always agree with the theory anything you do to become part of the routine is bad as some enabling may be necessary to begin with so that he's not having to fight too many triggers at once. I guess you could even go for full on enabling then start asking him questions about why each OCD step is necessary? (the ones that most people wouldn't bother with) asking him what's the worst that could happen if he didn't do x, y or z? ..... then give your opinion and/or ask him to ask what other people think/do. ....As part of my therapy I asked friends and family to do a short online survey (you can create one free on surveymonkey) about their handwashing habits, then discussed the results with my therapist ..... tho he could discuss them with you or a friend/family not prone to OCD that he trusts.

Again hope that's been of some help, but let me know if you or he want to chat further on here or via Facebook messenger.

Best Regards,

Trevor

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Trevor

Thank you for your reply. We have had a very rough few weeks and my son is exhausted from the OCD which has got worse than ever due to his exams. He will not see anyone to try and get help even though he admits he is exhausted and stressed and getting worse.

He was looking forward to passing one of his main exams and thought it would help him to feel better and less stressed but sadly although he passed the exam he has transferred his anxiety to a new thing - work experience which he needs to do as part of the course.

I am starting to worry now about how he will cope with the summer holidays as he finishes college in June and doesn't go back until September, and I know that if things don't improve he will spent most of the holiday indoors worrying about things and spending more and more time on rituals and not getting out of bed until nearly lunch time every day. Tomorrow he is going to start approaching employers to ask them for work experience and I know he is not looking forward to it and will try and put it off so fingers crossed he does it and gets a good response from the ones he contacts.

Good luck with your recovery and thanks again for taking the time to reply.

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  • 5 months later...

Since my post in May things have reached breaking point with my Son.  He declined as I feared over the summer and since returning to college in September has become really stressed, bad tempered and more exhausted as he struggles to balance his routines and college.  I have tried more times than I care to admit to persuade him to get some help but he closes me down by always saying no.  I am at my wits end with him as he is starting to tear our family apart with the stress he causes.  On Friday I decided the time had come to tackle the issue that every evening he insists that he is not the last person in the house to have a shower and that has meant that I have ended u locked out of the bathroom (and the rest of the family too), whilst he does a long routine which can take almost and hour meaning my evening was totally disrupted by his rituals.  I told him I was going to take a shower before him and he became really distressed.  I felt terrible seing him in such a state (I had warned him a few days before I did this that I was going to do this).  Every nigh since has been a battle - tonight being no exception.  He is never on time for family meals and I find myself constantly stressed wondering what sort of future he has if he continues to decline.  I can't see him being able to lead a normal life ever again, and wonder what will become of him as he is struggling with his course (due to tiredness)so I can't see him being able to hold down a job.  The future for him looks so bleak for him.

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This is one of the most difficult situations that comes up on the forum to deal with. You've got someone suffering but they refuse help. And to make matters worse, his behavior has a big, negative effect on the rest of the family.

I think there comes a time when you have to put your foot down and say enough is enough, that you will not accept his behavior disrupting your life and the lives of others in the home. Draw a line and let him know. Tell him you're going to take a shower whenever you want. Tell him that if he isn't on time for family meals that the dishes will be done up, everything put away and he will be on his own to feed himself. Do NOT let his compulsions disrupt the family routine. And do NOT involve yourself in his compulsions.

You can sit down with him and explain it all to him. Tell him that you have learned it does no good to do compulsions for him or to bend over backwards so he can do his compulsions. Tell him doing compulsions only makes his situation worse. Tell him you have gone as far as you are going to and it is now up to him as a young adult to do something about his disorder. Tell him you will help him to the ends of the earth to get better but you will not allow him to disrupt the family anymore. Also tell him that you have learned that OCD can be beaten, that there is help available and he doesn't have to live the way he is.

I know this sounds like tough love but that's what, I feel, is needed some times. This isn't just about a poor quality of life for your son. Everyone gets caught up in the whirlwind, everyone suffers.

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Thank you PolarBear for your reply.  As a parent it is so hard to do things that upset your kids but I know the only way to help him is tough love.  I have decided that tomorrow I am going to sit down and spell it out to him just how badly he is disrupting the family and explain as you have said that I will do anything to help him recover but he has to play his part in beating this too.

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Something else to think about too is he may realize that to get better he has to stop his compulsions. That may be terrifying for him. But it's not something that is done in one fell swoop. There is a process to go through and it's done at a comfortable rate. He won't have to bite off more than he can chew.

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In the past when we have spoken about how to recover from this he has said that he is terrified of giving up the compulsions because he is afraid that he will lose things in his life, no longer have any chance of success in his life, and also he has done them for such a long time that he doesn't actually know a life without them and what he would do instead.   I know this is going to be a hard struggle to help him give up the compulsions and where really to start with doing it, but I also want to see him recover and have a normal life again like other young people do.

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Hi movingon,

Perhaps reiterate to your son that giving up compulsions doesn't have to be as scary as he thinks it will be. In therapy you start off slowly, giving up the compulsion that is easiest to do so first and then working your way up to the more difficult ones. It's all very structured and done at a pace that won't cause tremendous anxiety for a long period of time. Also, by giving up these little compulsions first it gives us more confidence to tackle the other ones and doing so becomes easier too.

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Thank you Lynz for the advice.  I tried talking to him today but feel I made very little progress.  Nothing anybody says seems to convince him that therapy will help him.  The other problem is that the waiting list for therapy is almost a year here I have been told.

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Hi movingon,

It sounds as though he isn't ready to accept change yet and that's a hard phase to be in, for him and for family. Unfortunately you can't push someone into changing before they are ready. A year seems a long, long time to wait when you're already at your wits end and can't see how to make any progress in the meantime. I think it helps to adjust your goals slightly in the short term so you maintain the feeling you're 'doing something' and not left feeling helpless. And then get practical. Nothing counteracts the feeling of helplessness better than getting practical. :) 

Consider making a list of ALL his current rituals and divide them into 3 categories. 

1. 'acceptable rituals' which don't impact on the family (too much!). Give him complete autonomy over those.

2. rituals which negatively impact the family. Include on this list negative impacts like lost time relaxing  together, family treats you can't do, nice things you're all missing out on. Write down the serious knock on effects of the rituals too, such as a parent being late for work or stressed because he's hogged the bathroom (or whatever.)

The idea is to make him aware there are consequences to his rituals. They don't happen in a vacuum.

Equally important in this section is to make him feel he's part of the family, not an outsider to it. You're in this as a team - try to avoid a 'him and us' situation if at all possible. Aim to get to a point where it's 'the whole family versus OCD'.

3. The third category is rituals which are unacceptable because of the impact they are having on other family members. These are the ones he needs to stop first. It's your choice whether you ban them immediately, negotiate around them, or set a deadline after which they will no longer be tolerated. Decide what rule applies as a family and stick to it. Expect distress, expect tantrums. Deal with them as you would a distressed toddler; lots of love, but firm boundaries. 

Keep this third list short as possible, no more than 2 'big' rituals or 3 'medium impact' ones maximum (and you may wish to start with only one on this list and add the 2nd and 3rd in stages, reviewing the lists together every 3 months or so.)

I said at the start you can't force someone to change before they are ready and it's true. Pushing someone into giving up their rituals unwillingly almost always backfires. But that doesn't mean you can't 'do something' to bring them closer to that mental state of readiness. In fact the more you do these suggestions below the faster he'll likely respond to therapy when he gets there. 

a. Keep talking about change openly in the family - treat it as an ongoing process without a fixed start or endpoint. Don't let it become a huge deal any more than gradually developing maturity and taking on adult roles is a huge deal - it's normal, it's expected. It's happening. Families equip us to adapt to growing up and support us through it. Treat giving up his OCD exactly the same, part of change that happens as we move through life, no more, no less. 

b. Encourage him to think of doing rituals as his choice rather than a survival necessity. This is where giving him complete autonomy over some rituals is important. (It's not a choice if someone else says you can't do it.) From time to time casually ask if he wants to do the ritual, in a shrug-it-off, do or don't do it's up to you sort of way. This sows the seeds of thinking that rituals aren't necessary and that at some point - when he doesn't want to do them - it's ok for him not to do them. (You don't necessarily need to say aloud that he has permission not to do them, it's a subliminal message.)  Might sound strange that he needs permission not to do rituals, but in his mind it's a rule set by the universe much like parents set some rules which have to be obeyed without questioning them.

c. Try to have fun and laugh together as a family regularly. It can be hard, especially if tensions are running high. But simple things like playing a board game, or watching comedy on TV together can be an opportunity to take time out from those tensions, or doing whatever you all enjoy that creates laughter. If the OCD spoils this fun time, try not not make a drama out of it, just pack up quietly and go your separate ways for a bit. 

Try to avoid making him feel OCD and punishment, or OCD and being excluded from family, go hand in hand. Back to that being part of a family team versus OCD approach, never putting your son and OCD on one side of the fence with the rest of the family on the other. 

These are just suggestions for you to consider and adapt as you see fit. Hope that gives you a starting point and something to hold onto while waiting for therapy. :) 

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Thank you so much for the help Snowbear.  He is always saying to me how alone he feels and how he wishes he was his brother who he sees as being successful and happy.  He struggled to get up this morning because he didn't go to bed until 5.30 this morning (because of doing rituals).  I often wonder how he manages to function.  He is so thin and pale - a shell of his former self.  One positive thing in his life is that he has connected with one of the lads at college and they spend lunch time chatting together which he enjoys, as he has lost contact with all of his school friends now.

I will take on board your advice -which I really appreciate and see if we can make some much needed progress. Thank you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel like screaming!!! We sat down and agreed with my Son several issues he needed to deal with - firstly being late for his lift to the station in the morning (this causes his brother a lot of stress because he is then rushing to get himself to work, and as he has just started a new job he doesn't want it), secondly he has to stop the constant moaning about how bad his life is (he can moan for hours about this which is exhausting), and lastly he has to stop calling me at work as I now have a new boss who will not tolerate private phone calls.  This we felt was a reasonable place to start to deal with some of the problems we now have as a family from my Sons OCD. He agreed to these and seemed upbeat about actively doing something to help relieve the tension in the house.  

Yesterday he was only just on time for his lift and so he was told not to let things slip.  Today he was late - I kept calling him and telling him the time but he kept on with the ritual he was doing.  I am so angry with him, and so is his brother. His brother want to stop the lift but knows he cannot get to the station without is as he has a damaged  knee from all the jumping about and hopping he does which means he can no longer walk very far. 

It feels like things are snow balling out of control.  His hands are raw and bleeding from all the washing, and he was asked at college last week if he was high as he looks so tired and worn out. 

I really though we had got through to him and feel at a loss what to do next.

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Hi movingon,

Well done for having the talk and getting your son to agree to a few initial rules. :) 

Now he's agreed, but he still isn't taking on board the idea there are consequences to his behaviour. And at present the only people bearing the brunt of those consequences is the family. 

It's harsh, but his brother needs to stick to the agreed rule. If your son is late, his brother leaves without him. He does not put his own life on hold in order to accomodate the rituals that make his brother late. 

Your son then has a choice - get up earlier to complete his rituals so he gets to his lift on time, or make his own way to the station, damaged knee and all. His choice. 

Remember, this is about teaching him he has autonomy over his rituals, that he chooses how much time he spends on them, he chooses whether to do them or not. So he must bear the consequences of his choices or he learns nothing. 

If he just gives up and makes no effort to get out of the house when his lift has had to leave without him, that's the time for another calm chat to remind him what he agreed to and that these are simply the consequences he's bringing on himself.

Don't be surprised if he pulls the emotional blackmail card - his poor knee, his inability to control the OCD, that you are the ones being unreasonable by leaving him in the lurch (you aren't, he is, but he probably won't want to believe that and may make all kinds of accusations rather than admit he needs to change his behaviour)... every reason under the sun why you should accommodate his OCD and carry on putting your own lives into the background for him. 

Agreed rules need to be stuck to or rules mean nothing, and then you have no leverage at all. 

Hope that line of thinking helps to clarify where to go next to help him on this difficult journey. :) 

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Today things have come to a head.  My Son was late AGAIN for his lift to the station and his brother told him he would have to walk.  Well this resulted in a melt down where my Son threw off his coat and bag and said he wasn't going to college.  His brother then lost his temper with him and told him exactly how much stress he was causing in the house and to him.  He also told him how he is now considering moving in with his girlfriend to get away from him.  He did then take him to the station but told him this was it no more lifts from now on he has to sort himself out.

My Son called me a couple of hours later and said he was shocked how it had hit him now how badly his actions are affecting us and how he doesn't want his brother to move out.  He said it's also hit him what a mess his life is but he doesn't know what to do to start to sort things out.  I told him we are all at breaking point with him and spelt out many of the things he does which cause us stress as a family and told him that he could start by tomorrow getting up and leaving the house on time and walk to the station to prove to us that he can time keep, and also make sure he is in time for his meals. 

I really hope this is a light bulb moment and he does get motivated to get his OCD under control. I will talk to him again later when he comes home and see if he still feels he wants to sort things out and if so try and get a simple plan of action together with him to start things off. 

I really hope we can turn a corner and make some progress that will improve things.

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3 hours ago, movingon said:

Today things have come to a head.  My Son was late AGAIN for his lift to the station and his brother told him he would have to walk.  Well this resulted in a melt down where my Son threw off his coat and bag and said he wasn't going to college.  His brother then lost his temper with him and told him exactly how much stress he was causing in the house and to him.  He also told him how he is now considering moving in with his girlfriend to get away from him.  He did then take him to the station but told him this was it no more lifts from now on he has to sort himself out.

My Son called me a couple of hours later and said he was shocked how it had hit him now how badly his actions are affecting us and how he doesn't want his brother to move out.  He said it's also hit him what a mess his life is but he doesn't know what to do to start to sort things out.  I told him we are all at breaking point with him and spelt out many of the things he does which cause us stress as a family and told him that he could start by tomorrow getting up and leaving the house on time and walk to the station to prove to us that he can time keep, and also make sure he is in time for his meals. 

I really hope this is a light bulb moment and he does get motivated to get his OCD under control. I will talk to him again later when he comes home and see if he still feels he wants to sort things out and if so try and get a simple plan of action together with him to start things off. 

I really hope we can turn a corner and make some progress that will improve things.

Hi my daughter had an absolute melt down Aswell this afternoon. Because of her intrusive thoughts. She also has ocd. I just lost it with her. Because I'm sick of seeing her sulking 24 hours a day. I ended up telling her how it was affecting me and her 7 year old brother. And that it was making me depressed. Even her older brother won't come to the house anymore. as he says  he feels depressed when he goes home after seeing her.  we don't have a life anymore because of her illness. I try to help her. But it's like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. I'm at breaking point. I feel like I can't take much more. She's also with me all day as she doesn't go to school. So I feel like I need a break from her. We are going to camhs tomorrow to see physchiatrist see what they say.

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On ‎16‎/‎11‎/‎2016 at 18:21, Mrs porter said:

Hi my daughter had an absolute melt down Aswell this afternoon. Because of her intrusive thoughts. She also has ocd. I just lost it with her. Because I'm sick of seeing her sulking 24 hours a day. I ended up telling her how it was affecting me and her 7 year old brother. And that it was making me depressed. Even her older brother won't come to the house anymore. as he says  he feels depressed when he goes home after seeing her.  we don't have a life anymore because of her illness. I try to help her. But it's like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. I'm at breaking point. I feel like I can't take much more. She's also with me all day as she doesn't go to school. So I feel like I need a break from her. We are going to camhs tomorrow to see physchiatrist see what they say.

Hi I feel for you as I feel like I spend hours and hours trying to help him and we literally get no where.  He is draining to be with and I can never predict when he will have a melt down.  I literally dread getting up some morning knowing what we are going to face. I too feel at breaking point and always on edge.  I really do wonder if he/we will ever be able to manage this illness and constantly worry about what is going to become of him.

I hope the appointment at camhs went well and will help things for you and your daughter and family.

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