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Guest soph

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I am having a really bad day and I have come to the conclusion that nobody wants to understand or help me. But why would they....

I have plucked up the courage to tell 3 people close to me and not one of them seems interested in how much my life is affected by this.

I don't know what the hell to do with myself. For once in a while i can be honest and say that I don't even know why I'm here anymore. I don't feel any emotion for anything nowadays and there's nobody I can be truly honest with. Is this all there is to life?

I would really appreciate anybody taking the time to read or reply.

Edited by soph
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Thank you so much, it means a lot to know that people I don't even know can take time out of their day to try and make mine better.

I hope that you feel better soon too

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Hello Soph,

Sorry you are feeling so bad. The lack of emotion sounds like depression - are you getting treatment for that?

It is rubbish that the people you told don't seem interested. I think, unfortunately, that people who haven't experienced serious mental illness themselves struggle to comprehend how bad it is. Some people will try. Do you know anyone who might have experienced mental illness themselves? Either personally or via a loved one? They might be able to understand it better. There are of course lots of people on here who understand, but I know that's not the same as having someone in 'real life'. I'm sure the people you have told do care about you, they just don't have a frame of reference for comprehending what mental illness is like. Ideally they would say something like 'I am finding it hard to understand but I want to help', but that can take quite a lot of emotional maturity sometimes.

Things feel very bleak at the moment but it won't always be like this. You will be able to feel positive emotions again, even if at the moment it's not happening. At times like this it can be hard to imagine things getting better, but OCD is an illness that can be treated. You will feel better in the future, whether or not you can visualise that right now does not change that.

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Guest imalright

I think most people on here will understand you and, from my experience, want to help :)

And people will also be interested to hear how things are impacting on your life :)

And you can be truly honest on here without judgement x

I'm saying all of this from personal experience - the people on here are so welcoming and helpful.

Not sure how long you've been on but....Perhaps you could share a little more and see for yourself x

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Oh thank you all so much, I come here quite a lot but don't post often because I'm scared what people will think. Deep down I know everyone here understands but like Lizzy said it's not like having someone in real life.

One of the 3 I have told is my best friend who has depression and although I try my hardest to help her I sometimes feel as though I don't get the same effort back. We talk a lot because we have similar difficulties but she has her own problems.

I have never even associated no feelings with depression, is that common?

I am not currently getting any treatment because I am terrified to go back to the doctors on my own and I haven't got anybody to come with me. Seems like a vicious circle at the minute

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Guest OCD-in-ireland

Soph,

All of us here understand what you are going through. Please dont give up. You matter so much and you are so brave to fight this illness everyday. It is not an easy thing to do.

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Thank you so so much, I really do appreciate all of you and your kind words.

I just feel worthless at the minute and unsure of who to turn to when things get bad. I don't want to do this on my own.

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Yes, feeling nothing can be a sign of depression.

You know what, soph? There is more to life. There is life beyond OCD. I'm there and I can tell you it's a wonderful place to be. Everything around me seems alright and just fine. You can get there too. One step at a time.

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I just feel worthless at the minute and unsure of who to turn to when things get bad. I don't want to do this on my own.

Hello soph,

If you need someone to actually talk to, you can always phone The Samaritans. There is no stigma in this. I have had cause to get in touch with them from time to time. They are always willing to listen - and understand. If you have never contacted them before, there is no need to hold back.

Anon

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There are times when I want to go back to the doctors to get help but I don't have the strength at the minute.

I think I may have to give them a ring anon, I seem to have tried everything else.

I'm so glad for you polarbear, deep down I think I know there is more than this, it's just getting there but like you said one step at a time.

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I think I may have to give them a ring anon, I seem to have tried everything else.

Hi soph,

Did you do the deed? I used to think that The Samaritans were there purely for people with suicidal thoughts and indeed there were times when I was suicidal. But they are there for anyone who is feeling distressed and needs to share how they feel.

Anon

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No unfortunately not, I can't seem to bring myself to actually talk about it. I'm terrified of the actual three letters I cannot say them and I panic when i read it etc.

Today was my last day at my old job so I've been a bit busy, I've got a couple of week off now which means I can prepare myself and give them a ring soon.

Thank you for asking it means a lot.

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Guest nervous

It can be tough to build up the courage to tell someone, I have done it enough now I actually like talking about it. Most likely when you tell people they don't what to say, many people are unfamiliar with it and don't know what they should say. When I told my family about my ocd they were all supportive and told me the love me but after nobody is really trying to help me and they mostly just ask me "are you better yet?" The thing is if you don't have ocd even if they really try they are not going to really understand. OCD can be very isolating and the worse it gets the more isolating it is, put your effort into fighting this because it's a miserable ride.

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No unfortunately not, I can't seem to bring myself to actually talk about it. I'm terrified of the actual three letters I cannot say them and I panic when i read it etc.

Today was my last day at my old job so I've been a bit busy, I've got a couple of week off now which means I can prepare myself and give them a ring soon.

Thank you for asking it means a lot.

Hello soph,

You could, of course, talk with your GP.

What is it about the three letters that terrifies you and prevents you from saying them? Do you find that this is a problem when you see these three letters on this forum?

Anon

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I am definatley going to try nervous!

I really don't know if I'm honest anon, but yes whenever I see them it really causes me a problem. I think it is one of the main reasons I can't talk about it because I can't get out what it actually is. I have had many panic attacks when I see it written or especially when other people say it.

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