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Guest sloopy

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Guest sloopy

Hi there, I am new to the forums after deciding to sign up today.

A little bit about me and my OCD. Just over a year ago I decided to research intrusive thoughts, this is something that has plauged my mind since at least the age of 11 (now 29). Until researching then I never realised it could be OCD as I always thought I was alone.

I stress now that I have not yet been to see a doctor, so I am not 'officially' diagnosed but here are these are the main symptoms of what I suffer with, i'm 110% sure it is OCD and after finding out more about it, it kind of makes sense when i look back over my life.

Intrusive thoughts are the main cause of distress. It affects me in ways that;

If I have a bad thought whilst entering a shop, I have to exit, compulse with a good thought and re-enter, otherwise I deem anything I may buy to be bad like my thoughts.

If I make a coffee and pour the hot water into the cup whilst having a bad thought, I have to start again after compulsing.

If I take cash out a machine and have a bad thought whilst inputting my pin, i have to cancel and start again. These thoughts can go on and on and on uncontrollable days (yesterday was one such day which led me to breakdown in tears at home), it can completely dominate my day and life.

I also bear signs of other aspects of OCD. I am a checker, I have to always recheck locks, make sure electric sockets are switched off if leaving the house, yet still panic that something might happen.

I have always been a hoarder, keeping the most pointless of objects or attaching some form of memory to them.

If a bad thought relates to a number, that number will become bad and must be avoided when carrying out tasks.

The whole aspect of OCD has been stronger than ever in my life the past few months, I feel I am constantly being robbed of my life and i'm at a destruction point with it. I want to learn to beat it, but so scared how to, the processes and not sure if I feel like I can approach a doctor.

Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read through. I hope to be an active member on the forums.

Edited by sloopy
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Hey Sloopy, welcome to the forums! Wow, going through most of your life with this and feeling so alone? You must be an incredibly strong person, I am amazed by you! I know you may not feel that way, but seriously that's really really impressive, you should be proud of yourself for that. Of course now that you do know what it is and that there is help out there, you can relax a little bit and know that you don't have to face it alone!

I encourage you to poke around the main OCD-UK page, there is great information there about talking to your doctor, how to get treatment etc, particular geared towards sufferers in the UK like yourself, makes me a bit jealous actually :) It can be scary to think about talking to someone else about these thoughts, but it really is the best way to get started towards recovery and you definitely want to continue moving down that path (you've already started by doing research and then posting here, so congrats again).

Will there is no cure yet for OCD, there are very effective treatments to help you manage it and turn it from an overwhelming burden to an occasional minor nuisance (much like say, asthma). There are two main methods for treating OCD and they can be used together for added effectiveness. First, there is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). In CBT you'll learn about how you can take practical steps to confront and overcome your fears and compulsions, and about the cycle of doubt that is OCD. Using various techniques including Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) you will literally re-train your brain to function in a more non-OCD fashion and also how to short circuit the doubt cycle. Its not always easy but its definitely worth it. Second, there are medications that can help reduce or eliminate your OCD symptoms. While some people prefer to tackle OCD using therapy alone, for others (like myself!) medication plays a valuable role in helping manage my OCD and make the CBT side more effective and approachable. You can work with your doctor to start finding the help you need and begin one or both forms of treatment. I highly recommend CBT whther or not you choose to also do medication. Meds can be great and make a big difference but sometimes they won't be as effective and having the CBT skills can be a big help!

I hope you find the forums useful and that you are able to continue progressing towards recovery from your OCD!

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Guest carefulgirl

I remember being where you were. I was afraid of seeking help, and I wasn't sure how to. It is a process, but it definitely is worth it. I have been seeing my psychiatrist for over a year now, and it is comforting to know that I have someone to talk to about my OCD as well as provide medication for it. She also recommended that I enrol in a CBT group, where I met other OCD sufferers. It was helpful at the time. However, I know that this is a decision you have to come to by yourself- I am behind you in this, and I'm sure others on the forum are too:)

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Guest Exemplary

Hi there, I am new to the forums after deciding to sign up today.

A little bit about me and my OCD. Just over a year ago I decided to research intrusive thoughts, this is something that has plauged my mind since at least the age of 11 (now 29). Until researching then I never realised it could be OCD as I always thought I was alone.

I stress now that I have not yet been to see a doctor, so I am not 'officially' diagnosed but here are these are the main symptoms of what I suffer with, i'm 110% sure it is OCD and after finding out more about it, it kind of makes sense when i look back over my life.

Intrusive thoughts are the main cause of distress. It affects me in ways that;

If I have a bad thought whilst entering a shop, I have to exit, compulse with a good thought and re-enter, otherwise I deem anything I may buy to be bad like my thoughts.

If I make a coffee and pour the hot water into the cup whilst having a bad thought, I have to start again after compulsing.

If I take cash out a machine and have a bad thought whilst inputting my pin, i have to cancel and start again. These thoughts can go on and on and on uncontrollable days (yesterday was one such day which led me to breakdown in tears at home), it can completely dominate my day and life.

I also bear signs of other aspects of OCD. I am a checker, I have to always recheck locks, make sure electric sockets are switched off if leaving the house, yet still panic that something might happen.

I have always been a hoarder, keeping the most pointless of objects or attaching some form of memory to them.

If a bad thought relates to a number, that number will become bad and must be avoided when carrying out tasks.

The whole aspect of OCD has been stronger than ever in my life the past few months, I feel I am constantly being robbed of my life and i'm at a destruction point with it. I want to learn to beat it, but so scared how to, the processes and not sure if I feel like I can approach a doctor.

Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read through. I hope to be an active member on the forums.

Hi there and welcome to the forums. I would go into more detail about your situation but I am at work on my phone- I really wanted to say hello though!

Alex :)

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Guest Fgosney

Hi there,

I am also new to this forum so just thought I would say hi to everyone. I suffer from the checking form of ocd mainly related to checking things which are associated with danger, ie if I had carried them out then the consequence would be severe. I work in a laboratory and am having real issues with my anxiety in the lab, for example thinking that I have knocked over chemicals, so much so that I dread going into the lab. I also have issues with driving thinking that I could have knocked over a pedestrian, even when there wasn't even one there. I really find it hard to rationalise things, as how could you possibly knock someone over if there was no one there? I therefore drive around sometimes for ages thinking that I may have hurt someone. All of these things i know i would feel or hear or generally be aware of if i had knocked something over or hit someone, however it is as if my brain cannot understand this? does anyone else have similar issues and do you try and cope with it? I am carrying out an online nhs therapy which has supplied me with useful tips on making a diary of my thoughts and trying to rationalise them, and trying to resist the checking but sometimes I feel like I'm really not winning at all.

Many thanks and look forward to your responses,

Fgosney

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Guest carefulgirl

Hi Fgosney,

I don't have the same OCD you describe (I have contamination fears) but I can relate to the second guessing/doubting/checking that you have done. You can win some battles if you're ready for exposure and response prevention; start with something small. List out your compulsions and try to tackle the one that causes you some anxiety but the least amount. Then don't carry out the ritual for as long as you can. Then repeat for longer each time. Hope that helps.

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Guest Fgosney

Hi there, many thanks for your post it is nice to know that there are other people experiencing the same things as me. I have been undergoing a type of Cbt on line which suggests the same exposure therapy that you talk about- however sometimes I feel the urge to check so very overwhelming that I give in and check as it makes me feel better, but I know that it is just feeding the habit- sometimes it is just so hard.....Have you recovered from your compulsions? Many thanks fgosney

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Guest carefulgirl

No I have not fully recovered from my compulsions. I win some battles, and I lose a lot unfortunately! The checking over again does drive your compulsions. I remember getting into a shower again after feeling contaminated and couldn't stop. The next day was the same. It wasn't until I forced myself not to shower again that made me go back to one shower instead of seven for a few days. Try your best not to give in!

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  • 10 months later...
Guest sloopy

Having not been active as I hoped, I thought I would repost here. Firstly I want to thank everyone who took the time to reply to my post (almost a year ago, that is scary!). I've tried and tried to beat the thoughts that plague my mind, some days I really have kept them at bay. But then the all powerful mind finds a way around to bring everything back. It really is a losing battle without help.

Recently I would probably say I have been as bad as I have ever been. Though I keep telling myself they are just thoughts, which has probably become a compulsion in its own right.

From when I was young, not knowing what these thoughts were really got a hold of me and I suffered with depression a lot, which at the age of 12, led to me being withdrawn from School and home schooled till 16. I never sat any exams or had any qualifications as I entered into the real world of work.

However at the age of 23, I was in a financial situation to go to college and study, a journey which ended up lasting seven years as I last week graduated from university with a first class degree. I wanted to do this, to prove to myself I was capable, to recapture some of that lost social time from my teens and more importantly, do something that in the late 90's, OCD prevented me from doing. It's been tough because of OCD though, and it was only two years ago and duing my university time that I discovered OCD was the cause. Doctors never seemed to want to take time to talk and just threw the prozac at me.

Now however, I really do feel it is time to get a hold on this, I want my life back, I want to be able to do the simplest of tasks without having an intrusive thought and compulsion. I just need to find that courage to speak to a doctor and hope they listen this time.

Thank you everyone who replied again, I am ever so sorry for not writing back sooner. This time I will become more active and involved.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Sloopy, welcome back. I too was away from the forums for awhile, so I understand the absence. I'm sorry to here about your struggles but it sounds like you are making a good choice in wanting to pursue treatment and really take back control. While medication can help I too learned that alone isn't the best path, CBT really makes a difference and I hope you have better luck with your treatment this time around. I know there are some great resources on the OCD-UK site about talking with your doctor about OCD and help finding the right treatment. I encourage you to check that out!

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