That time of the month when my OCD is sky high!! Merged Thread

[Chels]

The urge to confess every thought right now is SO high i just cant control myself. Having sex with my boyfriend and something was on TV and one of the actors had a look of a boy i was seeing before...Because i glanced at the TV my minds convinced iv been fantasizing over this boy during sex. Vile. Feel sick. Dying to confess, the urge is so bad

[PolarBear]

So what are you going to do?

[Chels]

Not confess but its so bad right now. Im so scared, Im convinced i fancy some boy from Facebook because he puts silly status's and i look on his profile to laugh quite a lot. Now im convinced thats the type of boy i would of been attracted to before...a down and out! Then i convince myself i must fancy him. Everything is so intense with my OCD right now

[Chels]

On facebook half asleep this morning in bed flicking through and come across a picture of someone i used to be seeing before my boyfriend and it was a picture one of his friends had put on of him in the bath with nothing at all on, i can remember scrolling past it but now im convinced i had my hand down below!! Im disgusted the urge to tell my boyfriend is sooo bad! I dont know what to do i feel like i need to split up with my boyfriend i cant do this anymore i give up.

[PolarBear]

It would help if you started to realize that you have a mental disorder that is causing these thoughts to pop into your head. That's the first step. Then you need to figure out what your compulsions are and work hard to resist and stop doing them. For sure confessing is not the only compulsion you partake in. I'm sure you ruminate over these types of things, going over them in your mind again and again. That's a compulsion just like confessing and it's something you need to work on stopping.

[Chels]

How? How do i stop thinking? Iv tried to hard to try and distract myself think happy thoughts iv done it all i cant stop ruminating. I do in constantly I dont know how to stop i know i have a mental disorder but the things im doing some of them are wrong in my eyes Like this boy in question ^ because iv saw this picture and then thats made me think this it took me back to when i drove past a pub and saw my friend standing talking to someone in a white van so i pulled over and bibbed and she came over to my car i asked who was in the van she said ^^ his name and i THINK i like laughed/smirked and went ah i wouldnt of pulled over if i new it was him and just laughed...i dont even know if i didnt laugh/smirk but my minds telling me i did and to me thats wrong...so now ill be ruminating over this all night too. My boyfriend and i are not going to last...we are on the rocks and he isnt happy, i know he isnt. Hes split up with me alot lately and we're only together because im basically begged him to give me another chance and promised him i can change but i last 4 days then BOOM it comes back and its bad. I just want to be happy with him. Seems impossible right now.

[PolarBear]

You have to dig deep and work to stop your compulsions. You are worrying, fretting and ruminating over minor things. OCD is blowing them out of proportion and making you think they're something catastrophic. You make it worse by performing compulsions. These things are not major problems and they are not worth confessing over. They simply aren't.

You need to recognize the commonality among all of these things you post about. Each time you post you make it sound like it's the worst thing possible but they're all the same. Minor life situations that should be dismissed readily. OCD latches onto them. Start to recognize that all these things are connected. That they are OCD at work. Then work hard to stop your compulsions. Ruminating is a tough one to stop. No doubt. It takes lots of practice but it is doable. When you see that you are ruminating you need to stop yourself then refocus onto something else, whatever you happen to be doing at the time is fine.

[Chels]

I went to CBT last night and my therapist was trying to get me to do imagry work. To take the image i have in my head and destroy it in a way thats personal to me. Im finding it so difficult she said obviously its going to take a lot of hard work and she also said it doesnt work for some people. Im really hoping i can do this i want to change SO much im finding it so hard at the moment i didnt expect it to be easy and i want to do this for myself. Its so hard to forget about something or accept, and move on for something that may be as bad as cheating in my head. E.g seeing a boy pass me in the car who i know he has a girlfriend and because he was a friendly smile and really looks at me when he smiles and i smile back i see that as wrong, i really think in my head that me and this boy have been flirtaciously looking at one another, and its so hard for me to think...its nothing if you have its minor, because to me it isnt. And i feel if i told anyone else this they would think i'd done something bad if i thought id flirtaciously looked at someone. Im trying SO hard to stop ruminating i really really am i feel like im never going to get better